Just embarked on an international LDR - a little scared for first meetup. Hal?

[Alexi The Husky]

Hey all, nice site you guys have goin' on here.

 

A little background info on me and my LDR:

So, I'm very enthusiastic about languages, and very self-motivated. I speak Spanish and English fluently (I consider both my native languages) and already speak french very well and I'm in the middle of applying to the French university system. With this self-motivation, I set out a few months back on learning Russian on my own (I'm a lover of all things Russian). It has gone well. So I stumble upon a language-learning/language penpals site, and I start going crazy over their tutorials and meeting people like crazy. And I meet this Russian girl that likes to study spanish but also speaks english. So I had established a language buddy, She helped me with Russian while I helped her with Spanish (but we mostly communicated in english because her spanish and my russian weren't at communication level). Time goes by, we slowly find out that though we are different personalities, that we enjoy each other's company and appreciate each other's values and agree on may "big" things (such as plans, goals, morals, etc). So feelings start to develop and now we are in this "special friendship" (mutually agreed) where we are just friends but we still treat each other like a bf/gf. She lives in Russia, I live in the states. We make it work. we do the whole microphone and webcam thing and it works out great.

 

Since I am hopefully moving to France for college next year, we agreed that she would visit me there around June-July 2013. I'm pretty confident that I could pull off the first meeting but I'm more worried about her, because she is a shy girl. Any tips on how to make the first meetup smooth? Also I feel that it would be a little awkward to meet up with someone with whom you've developed a strong connection but never actually met face to face. I'm probably just paranoid, anyone have any tips? All comments appreciated

Edited July 9, 2012 by Alexi The Husky
last word on title should be "Help?"

[january2011]

Try not to overload the first meeting with your expectations. You may not be able to click with her immediately as you both adjust to being in-person rather than via a webcam. Give it at least another meeting or two or try to spend a morning/afternoon/evening with her so that you get a feel for how she is in 3D.

 

If your connection was that strong over webcam, then the chances are that you will still be able to connect in person - if you can talk online then you can talk offline (it just takes a little adjustment). However, there are no guarantees. Just be the person that she got to know online. Remember the topics that you both had a lot to talk about. It's okay to be nervous.

 

I'd also suggest that you start off with a short coffee date then move onto something that's more activity-oriented, say shopping for groceries or visiting a local attraction - something that you're both interested in and that gives you both something to talk about.

 

Edit: And you've got a year to prepare! So, plenty of time - I think you're worrying too much too soon.

[carhill]

As a penpal, language buddy, etc, no worries. Just continue as now. A 'first meeting', if it ever happens, will be a continuation of that flow.

 

If you have romantic designs on a Russian girl, a year from now is an eternity. Next month, visiting her in her hometown, is the proper path if romance is your goal. It's the brief summer in Russia, depending upon where she lives. Spend a week or two with her and then, if things go well, there is an opportunity to grow things from there. Unless her family is well-positioned financially or she works for a global company and travels on business, she won't be able to just 'pop over' to France to visit, as the flights can cost the equivalent of a year's salary in Russia.

 

Yes, I've done it (dated internationally) and know how it goes, both good and bad.