Leigh 87 Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Why do people on here claim to know what other people think, in relationships, and about their partners? One person on here almost broke up my relaitonship with my boyfriend, because I believed his view, over that of my own boyfriend, who claimed to adore me, be crazy about me, and to want to be with me. I beleived another person who claimed to be extremely experienced with men.;.... He said my boyfriend was not In love with me, even though my bf and myself both genuinely felt IN love....Wa deaper than just " loving' someone. I felt " wow, this experienced and deap thinker knows what my boyfriend ( who is not a deap thinker) thinks and has a better idea of what my boyfriend thinks than my own boyfriend does" I noticed there are a LOT of judgmental people on here; of hookers, of people who have tried threesomes, and everything inbetween. I cannot stand judgmental people. When I catch myself being judgmental, I swiftly put myself back into line. Who am I to judge those I do not know? Although I cannot HELP but look at a person who looks a certain way, and reflects a certain socio - economic back group of culture. Some opinions are in built, but I can euse my own self talk and logic to realize they may not be TRUE necessarily; a homeless looking person may well be an affluent or middle class invididual! That likes wearing baggy clothes... I cannot believe that other people can claim to know what other people feel. it almost ruined my relatioship, when a person on here told me my bofriend must not be in love with me; that he was CERTAIN my bf is not in true love with me. We had a threesome or two when we first got together, before we fell into our deap kind of love. He comes from a social group who all fantasise about hot girls together, it is something they all deam to be something they would love to participate in; it is the jackpot to them! I grew up wih a large group of lesbians and bisexuals. I am also a very sexual person and was very horny early on... I thought feeling around with girls was normal, and something most dudes loved the thought of. When girls have cracked onto me in public, in clubs - guys have come in with their video cameras. Literally... WHich I shunned, both the cameras and the girls cracking onto me. Because I am not really into girls. ANY WAYS: we both had a threesome early on in our relationship as a fun thing to do. Later on, since we are living together and assume and HOPE for a long future together, neither of us talk about or want another threesome. I have recently made it clear to him that " look, if you are not totally crazy about me: if you do not adore me and are not deaply in love with me, and therefore feel the need for other girls ( because your bored with just THE ONE) then I want you to do the right thing and let me end things with you" I then broke up with him, citing that I wanted him to be single and have time to realize if I AM enough for him, or if he does not love me enough and therefore needs other girls, because he is not into me enough. He would not accept we were over, because he insisted he was crazy in love with me, that we have the best and most strongest love he has seen, blablabal, and that he does not want or need other girls. That the threesome was an awesxome fantasy he thought was fun tio live out, you know, so he could tell his mates, and have ticked a " box" on his " bucket list". He sais threesomes have no place in our serious relationship, and that he wants to feel close to me; that more threesomes would hinder out closeness. We are together now, I tried to let him play the field, but he did not want to. He even went on a holiday ( which I could have but did not want to join him on, so as to let him see what he wants) ad he went to the hot womens hot spot, went out clubbing and to pubs every night, yet always ended up calling me, telling me he loved me and life is so much better when he is very close to me. ..........WHy is it, that on here, a few people who know I have had a theesome with my boyfriend, assume that he is not that into me, and that we are anything but happy? I DO NOT understand how people claim to know what other people feel. It is a foreign concept to me, I HATE it, I HATe feeling something, only to have someone tell me what I feel..... Honestly, that is the very essence of this thread!!!!! I simply CANNOT understand, how some people believe they know how ANOTHER personn feels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess I want to hear why people think they have the magic power, of being able to read another persons mind?
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 I will just add - I do, for instance, naturally judge in situations where; the guy texts and calls a girl in the early hours of the morning often, and tries to hide it from his girlfriend... and does not even tell hsi girlfriend, unless she asks. I do not believe many men are uber social, the types who need to texts girls at 2 am when they are in bed, and to simply have a lot of female friends who they are very close to. That said, I would not assume to know what ALL men think! I DO know men, albiet rarely, that are just super social and are close with both sexes, and very much like giving advice and listening to things about the other persons lives.... Where as, for a person like my bf to text a girl at ALL, it would be out of character for HIM to take enough interest in another women, to WANT to chat to her at 2 am in the morning. Besides me, he is just not interested enough in a girl, to commuicate with them beyond the occasional catch up hello text, and running into them socially. Just because my boyfriend and most men do not text girls at 1 am, it does ot mean ALL MEAN that do this, are not into their girlfriends. They could be the minority of men, who just like to be close with girls. In my predicament, most men who have threesomes seam to not have a passionate love with their girlfriends that are involved.... Therefore people on here tend to assume * gee, Leighs boyfriend must not be that into her"... People guess things about my relationship, yet our reality is very different. We both feel like two people who are crazy in love. Our reality is not that of two people where one of them is not "into" the other.
Bridgey Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 When you ask for people's opinions on a situation on a site like loveshack, people are going to give you their opinion. You don't have to accept their opinion or advice, but don't come asking if you don't want to hear what everyone has to say. 1
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