Desinova Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 In my group of friends, there is 1 married couple who got married when both were very young(HS sweethearts). They are more acquaintances than friends. I know both of them from HS, but would never hang out with either of them on my own, but I see them regularly at friend's parties. So the wife, often behaves inappropriately when we are out. She will often complement me on how I look or what I am wearing. If we are sitting on a couch she will put her arm around me like we are close friends, which we aren't. I used to think that it was just me that she did this to, but after talking to another friend, he has experienced the same thing. So I know there are at least 2 people she does this with. It doesn't bother me so much, I really don't care, but her husband is a really good guy. I am not really close to her or her husband, but I just kind of feel bad for him because, he is a decent, simple guy. So what should I do? On one hand I feel it isn't any of my business and should just stay out of it. I also don't want to cause a scene or embarrass either of them. On the other hand, if I was in the husband's position I would be steaming mad. So what should I do? Should I approach her with it? Should I approach him? Am I being too much of a prude, should I just laugh it off and continue to ignore it? Also, it happens sporadically so it always catches me by surprise when it does occur. thoughts?
Robert Z Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 thoughts? Stay out of it. If she gets too friendly, shut her down. If you and he were close it might be appropriate to say something, but you don't want to get in the middle of other people's marital problems. Have you considered that she might just be really friendly? I've known women who were very outgoing like this but it didn't mean anything. What if you're wrong and create a huge conflict in their marriage based on nothing but a misunderstanding.
carhill Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Unless she sticks her tongue down your throat or fondles your 'stuff', I'd just let it go. Life goes on. She's playing because she can. Keep interaction public and things should be OK. If I had a nickel for every married woman who flirted inappropriately (for me) 1
cerridwen Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Keep it under your hat, Desinova. Approaching him with tales of her indiscretion is a dicey proposition. While you see the behavior as inappropriate, the hubby may not. He might wave it off as her being a touchy-feely person; or you as being a sheet disturber. In all the time they've been together, it's hard to imagine him never noticing her behavior so there's nothing to be gained by going to him. Next she touches you, discreetly move away. And best to keep the lip zipped.
Author Desinova Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 Stay out of it. If she gets too friendly, shut her down. If you and he were close it might be appropriate to say something, but you don't want to get in the middle of other people's marital problems. Have you considered that she might just be really friendly? I've known women who were very outgoing like this but it didn't mean anything. What if you're wrong and create a huge conflict in their marriage based on nothing but a misunderstanding. Yup, I did consider it that is why I posted about it instead of doing something. Sometimes it is good to get a fresh perspective and an outside opinion on things. I guess it was a bit narcissistic of me to think that she was being anything more than friendly. In my defense, I was not the only one who noticed her behavior as my friend also thought her actions were unusual.
Author Desinova Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 Unless she sticks her tongue down your throat or fondles your 'stuff', I'd just let it go. Life goes on. She's playing because she can. Keep interaction public and things should be OK. If I had a nickel for every married woman who flirted inappropriately (for me) Thanks for the advice, oh wise one. Really sorry about the loss of your feline friend. Hang in there brother.
Author Desinova Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 Keep it under your hat, Desinova. Approaching him with tales of her indiscretion is a dicey proposition. While you see the behavior as inappropriate, the hubby may not. He might wave it off as her being a touchy-feely person; or you as being a sheet disturber. In all the time they've been together, it's hard to imagine him never noticing her behavior so there's nothing to be gained by going to him. Next she touches you, discreetly move away. And best to keep the lip zipped. Good to see you my bearded friend. Yea, my intention isn't to cause any trouble. I have ascribed my values to him and his values might be very different. The only thing that really bothers me is that as far as I can tell he is a very good person and treats her well. Unfortunately he is kind of meek and not assertive, I get the feeling she wears the pants in the relationship. Thus, I wonder if he would say anything even if it did bother him. Anyway I am going to stay out of it.
Celtica Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 From a lady's perspective, Carhill makes a good point... Let it flow (or go). You know where to draw the line. If it really makes you uncomfortable even if she is merely poking you, excuse yourself and go use the bathroom or don't sit next to her in the first place without avoiding her. You know what to do
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