justagirl909 Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Hello Forum I am new, but I really need some advice. I am asking strangers because it is such a delicate situation I feel I cannot open up to anyone I know personally about it yet I am 22 years old, I am in a relationship with a very loving girl. Its been going on for over two years now. I love her and she loves me. She is my first serious relationship. My problem is this: I have an ex, my first girlfriend. I went out with her for a very short time when I was around 15 or 16, but we always sort of lingered around each other after the break up. Our immaturity didn't allow us to get back together, I moved an hour away and any chance at anything became lost. Even then there were few times when I would go back and see her. We would always end up kissing or hugging and talking about how we missed each other. Over the years I have seen her less and talked to her even less. But there were always times when we talk about 'us'. Before I met my current gf I had had a serious convo with my ex, she let me know that she had faith we could give it a try again once everything came into line, once we were closer. That conversation was over two years ago, before I met my current gf. I have sometimes months of no contact with my ex, but somehow we always end up talking either through text or online. I don't think about her everyday, but she has never truly left my mind or heart. A couple of weeks ago I learned she had a facebook, but she was activating and then deactivating it. I didn't friend request her, I didn't feel it was necessary. I would look for her though... Then a couple of days ago, she sent me a friend request. Right then she deactivated her account again, which left me confused. A few days alter it was active again and I went ahead and accepted it. We are now talking again, but this whole thing has left me confused. I have a feeling that I have not moved on even though it has been over 6 years, and I have a feeling she might not have either. The fact that I still think about her makes me feel guilty. I wanted to know what everyones input is on this. I have gotten so guilty, I am thinking about just going solo to try and figure everything out.
Philosoraptor Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 I think being single for awhile might be in yours and everyone else's best interest. Your new girlfriend needs to havbe the chance to find someone who can be as committed as she is right now. Your heart is conflicted and until you figure out what you want you're putting yourself in a position to hurt a lot of people, including yourself. 3
Author justagirl909 Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 Thank you very much for your input. I am struggling with this since I was completely fine until my ex got into the picture. It made me realize a couple of things. It just sucks being in the middle and having to tell my gf what is going on There is no good way out at this point. :sigh:
Philosoraptor Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Thank you very much for your input. I am struggling with this since I was completely fine until my ex got into the picture. It made me realize a couple of things. It just sucks being in the middle and having to tell my gf what is going on There is no good way out at this point. :sigh: Honesty is your best option. It might hurt but it won't leave any questions nor add any extra unnecessary pain. 1
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