kimber Posted July 6, 2004 Posted July 6, 2004 Hi well again another problem that is driving me nuts, I live with this guy, not my childs father(he has nothing to do with his daughter). They seem to fight about everything, my daughter and this guy i live with. She is 12 years old and is special needs, she also stands up for herself. I hate to get in the middle of it but at times i can not help it. I try and ask him to talk nicer to her instead of always just telling her what to do, no good mornings, no hi how was your day stuff like that. The only way that he talks to her is when she has to be told what to do. Well now she is always telling him what to do.She does not respect him and i do not blame her, you get what you give. Now the problem is non of them want to listen to me when i say stop talking to each other like that. and it is driving me crazy cuz in the end they both run to me or i have ot tell them and treat my b/f like a child. How do I get the older child(b/F) to understand that the reason she talks back and bosses him around is because thats all she hears from him? I said it point blank to him and he does not respond at all with anything. Oh ya I have also started punishing her for talking back to him but I am seing that he treats her this way and thats why she reacts in the same manor towards him. HELP THEY ARE BOTH ACTING LIKE THEY ARE 7 !!!!
Pyrannaste Posted July 6, 2004 Posted July 6, 2004 I don't think I'd date someone who'd be rude to my daughter without a reason. Any clues why he is acting this way? Was it 'dislike at first sight'? Does he hate children? Could he be jealous of your daughter? I think he should start to be nicer to her at least out of respect to you. Don't punish your daughter....it will be useless and she'll end up feeling mistreated and not loved. It is horrible when another adult is being rude to you without reason and your parents get angry *at you* if you say anything back. It's like he has the permission of acting like a child and you haven't...when *you*are the child. If you punish her and allow him to get away with it your daughter will be resentful. It's not like *she* started being hostile towards your bf. Try to apologize to her for him being rude and ask her not to be rude to him. It sounds like she is more mature than your bf.
kimber Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 Really as silly as it sounds he really adours her, He does alot with her, when he has vacation he always wants to take her with him. I went on the last vacation with them and they got along great. It was to his parents place. I met them for the first time however this is the 4th time she has seen them. When we were all out there they were both different towards eachother for 3 days now that we are back home it has started all over again. She says that she likes him, and at one point I talked to her about the situation and us moving out into our own place, she said that she did not want to movce and that she would miss him top much, so here we are still here. I guess what I am asking is that how do i get him to understand that the way she treats him so badly is because thats all she hears from him. damn hey i even said it point blank like that and it has not changed this afternoon as of yet. maybe i am wanting it to change like right this second, and i think that as a adult it should change right this second. Thanks i agree with you fully!!! but they both do love eachother but never act like it unless around family. at least that is what i see Kimber
supermom Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 It doesn't sound like he adores her. You should only have to tell him point blank once to get the picture. That sucks that her dad is gone and her "father figure" is an ass to her. Maybe you should explain that to your bf. If it doesn't change, if I were in your shoes, I'd leave him. My daughter is #1 first and foremost to me (and I'm sure yours is to you). Sounds like he is immature, and isn't that annoying too?
kimber Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 Yes he can be very much or I would not have to repeat myself a few times a day to him, thank you for that I am telling him point blank anmd if it does not change well I am going back to visit my family maybe I will end up staying there. Thank you so much Kimber
kimber Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 Ok so we just had a talk, He said well I will not tell her to do anything then, I will not boss her around. I said ya ok then we can just give up on this relationship fully in that case cuz I am not going to be with someone that lies saying things, I said it will take you by the end of the day to change all that and you will be telling her what to do. He gives up, I gave up also and my daughter and I ware moving back home at the end of July..... Thank you all for helping Kimber
supermom Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 I'm sorry you are ending your relationship but kudos to you for sticking up for your daughter. He gave up!!!! Obviously he is immature and you are better off w/o him. good luck
kimber Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 No kidding I am saying the same thing. Tired of hearing it all the time and tired of having to deal with a b/f that acts like a child, lol, it makes it eazy on the stress level hey having 2 kids when i only really wanted one...lol Thanks again
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