Leopard Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I've read somewhere on LS that a lot of women are offended by men wanting a woman to be submissive, and i'm just wondering why? By submissive I mean in any aspect. It can be financial, sexual, personality-wise...and please note I mean submissive, not doormat. For lots of women, being submissive means the same as being a doormat. 1. Why do some women think that submissive=doormat? 2. What is your definition of submissive? 3. And why do you take offence when a man wants to take over? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Algermas Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I've read somewhere on LS that a lot of women are offended by men wanting a woman to be submissive, and i'm just wondering why? By submissive I mean in any aspect. It can be financial, sexual, personality-wise...and please note I mean submissive, not doormat. For lots of women, being submissive means the same as being a doormat. 1. Why do some women think that submissive=doormat? 2. What is your definition of submissive? 3. And why do you take offence when a man wants to take over? Because 95% of the women here were raised in a post feminism Western country, they've been told by their mothers, the media and the educational system that there are two types of women, you're either strong and independant I don't need a man suck my **** woman or you're a servile dog. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WonderKid Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Because some men be taking it too far. I like to be submissive to my woman, but it doesn't mean I'll be a doormat and I can dominate her but it'll be in ways that she wouldn't see coming. Link to post Share on other sites
KR10N Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I've read somewhere on LS that a lot of women are offended by men wanting a woman to be submissive, and i'm just wondering why? By submissive I mean in any aspect. It can be financial, sexual, personality-wise...and please note I mean submissive, not doormat. For lots of women, being submissive means the same as being a doormat. 1. Why do some women think that submissive=doormat? 2. What is your definition of submissive? 3. And why do you take offence when a man wants to take over? 1) Too many times have I seen a woman get bossed around like some child by her BF or H. 2) Let the other person be the boss basically. 3) I'm just the type of woman that doesn't like being told what to do by anyone. *In the military, it isn't so bad. That's just the job. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I've read somewhere on LS that a lot of women are offended by men wanting a woman to be submissive, and i'm just wondering why? Not necessarily true... I By submissive I mean in any aspect. It can be financial, sexual, personality-wise...and please note I mean submissive, not doormat. For lots of women, being submissive means the same as being a doormat. I sought out a D/s relationship specifically because I wanted to be the submissive in a relationship. But I am a strong-willed, intelligent woman who is a professional executive and business owner. 1. Why do some women think that submissive=doormat? Because for many, being a submissive literally means doing anything and everything the Dom says and not having any say in the relationship. 2. What is your definition of submissive? Mine is far more nuanced; my BF is my Master. I know he has my best interests at heart and I actually feel joy and serving him. My submission is my best gift to him and yet we discuss extensively how and what and where what we are doing; he takes into account my suggestions and makes the ultimate decision. 3. And why do you take offence when a man wants to take over? I don't - except when I know in my heart it is something that is bad for me or will harm me. My Master has never done anything to do that... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I'll use an example from MC: We were going round and round on a real estate deal we were working on, ostensibly (from my POV) to 'save' the marriage by compromising on house (it wouldn't be mine, like where we were living prior) and location (a couple minutes from her business). A power struggle ensued and finally I stated, simply, that as someone with a ton of real estate experience and many properties under my belt I needed to lead in this case. I think my precise words were 'someone has to lead here and I believe I'm better qualified to do so'. Crickets, from both her and the MC. She would be 'submitting' to my superior experience and expertise, with her role as being valued adviser on specifics which were important to her. Funny how my parents never had these problems with 'submission' and 'dominance'. They worked as a team, with each partner leading with his or her strengths and valuing the other. In general, I have no idea nor opinion about women and 'submission'. I can only offer an anecdote of what I experienced. I won't be experiencing it again. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 (edited) Why be offended? Well, Why not? People are offended by different things. I don't go out of my way to not offend someone if what I'm saying has validity to me. I'm not saying I'm inconsiderate, I'm saying I'm not politically correct anymore. If someone is offended by my opinion, that is THEIR issue, not mine. Just as my being offended by others is MY issue, not theirs. Sometimes I choose to take up a stance, and other times I do not. Some women hate being submissive to a man - why? There are as meany reasons why as there are women who hate it. Are you also wondering why some women choose to take an active part in their hatred of female submission? Or maybe if there are more women that you are aware that have this hatred of female submissiveness? I don't know what my definition of 'submissive' is. I've never felt submissive or dominated; nor have I felt like a dominate person, unless it was in a work situation where that is my job. Sometimes it's nice to hand the decision to someone else, sometimes that can be the cowards way out. Edited July 8, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator fixed an oops Link to post Share on other sites
Nicomis Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Not necessarily true... I sought out a D/s relationship specifically because I wanted to be the submissive in a relationship. But I am a strong-willed, intelligent woman who is a professional executive and business owner. Because for many, being a submissive literally means doing anything and everything the Dom says and not having any say in the relationship. Mine is far more nuanced; my BF is my Master. I know he has my best interests at heart and I actually feel joy and serving him. My submission is my best gift to him and yet we discuss extensively how and what and where what we are doing; he takes into account my suggestions and makes the ultimate decision. I don't - except when I know in my heart it is something that is bad for me or will harm me. My Master has never done anything to do that... This, ladies and gentlemen is a "REAL" woman, that acts like a woman. She's not stupid, or weak, or a doormat, but she plays her role in the relationship, and allows her partner to be the man. The flip side of this, gentlemen, is in order for this to work, you need to behave like a man. If you can't, and you abuse her, and cheat on her, and such, then you deserve the screaming, loud, obnoxious, feminazi biatches.Not sure about the whole "master" thing though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 The man can get confused and in his mind, really think he's under control. Also, it depends on what way you mean ''submissive''. When it comes to computation and informatics or cars (if the man happens to know a lot about it) then obviously it would be helpful for him to guide me on that area. Since I don't have much knowledge about it, then I would agree with him. Sexual? Not really. I would get bored doing missionary position all the time. I don't think there should be a submissive nor dominant partner but rather shared areas. I might be better than him in some aspects and vice-versa. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 It could be for a number of reasons. She is mistrustful of him She doesn't believe there are good intentions behind it Fear of loss of control She doesn't respect him or his stance Take a lesson from the Dog Whisperer. Link to post Share on other sites
xdxb Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I can dominate her but it'll be in ways that she wouldn't see coming. Care to explain? Lol Link to post Share on other sites
4givrnt4gtr Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 hmm partly is how the world has evolved I believe....before, women couldn't take care of themselves, therefore they had to submit to the whims of men. Now, they can take care of themselves (and their children!) without needing the help of men...which totally overthrew the rules of engagement between men and women, and I think we have yet to figure out what this means in order for us to work well together. An quite frankly when I hear "submissive" it reminds me of my dog...who obeys quietly, without questioning or ofcourse, without stating what its needs or wants are...it kinda sounds to me like..."less than"....like "you must submit yourself to me because I know better than you what you need" And that raises my heckles like no other.... Also....you must take a look at your sample...submissive women would hardly be in sites like this...because submissive women take whatever men dish without question...(and by submissive I dont mean BDSM type, which seems like what CarrieT is talking about). Women in this site ARE questioning, are trying to live in a way that uses critical thinking, and therefore look for outside, objective opinion to their problems. But I assure you, there are women out there who would be more than happy to be submissive... But thats just me, I think other people may have different definiitions of submissive. Link to post Share on other sites
mario_C Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 (edited) They don't, if the fiction bestseller list is any indicator. Edited July 8, 2012 by mario_C you know what? Not going there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 It could be for a number of reasons. She is mistrustful of him She doesn't believe there are good intentions behind it Fear of loss of control She doesn't respect him or his stance Take a lesson from the Dog Whisperer. You made me laugh out loud, snug bunny. I've always thought that people bring different strengths and weaknesses to relationships - not just romantic, but those with family and friends. I'm not about to have a man (or my sister) tell me what I can and cannot do. Link to post Share on other sites
Algermas Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 hmm partly is how the world has evolved I believe....before, women couldn't take care of themselves, therefore they had to submit to the whims of men. Now, they can take care of themselves (and their children!) without needing the help of men...which totally overthrew the rules of engagement between men and women, and I think we have yet to figure out what this means in order for us to work well together. I know women like to tell themselves this but what it really means is that they think they can do without the male presence ( but definitely not his money, so much for taking care of your children all alone ). Then there's the fact that children raised by single mothers are vastly more likely to be anything from depressed to criminal. Link to post Share on other sites
WonderKid Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Care to explain? Lol Lol it's all about knowing your partner I think. Sexually I like her on top, but I'll definitely flip the script in that department. Some dirty talk, hair pulling, telling her I'm not stopping til she say [insert word here] LoL Mentally, I won't be controlling though. It'll be different and require a certain chemistry and mutual respect. Like, "If you don't shut up I'll do this to you." (Obviously it'l be some type of sexual reference) but you'll get it. I love playing Dom/Sub games. It really gets interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I've always thought that people bring different strengths and weaknesses to relationships - not just romantic, but those with family and friends. I'm not about to have a man (or my sister) tell me what I can and cannot do. Totally agree. My H and I have different strengths and weaknesses - we complement each other by playing to our individual strengths through mutual consent 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I personally dont want a chick whos always submissive. I like an ebb and flow partnership 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I know women like to tell themselves this but what it really means is that they think they can do without the male presence ( but definitely not his money, so much for taking care of your children all alone ). Newsflash: some women earn more than their husbands Then there's the fact that children raised by single mothers are vastly more likely to be anything from depressed to criminal. Maybe because the father does a disappearing act and fails to act like a responsible parent 3 Link to post Share on other sites
KR10N Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Newsflash: some women earn more than their husbands Maybe because the father does a disappearing act and fails to act like a responsible parentHe'd pulled that one out of his bum. My mother didn't have anyone to take care of her and her siblings. She took care of herself and her siblings. She's certainly no criminal and has done w/ out a man before. Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 You made me laugh out loud, snug bunny. I've always thought that people bring different strengths and weaknesses to relationships - not just romantic, but those with family and friends. I'm not about to have a man (or my sister) tell me what I can and cannot do. No cookie, no trust! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Why on earth should I be submissive to a man? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Why on earth should I be submissive to a man? Just do as you are told woman. Know your place. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leopard Posted July 8, 2012 Author Share Posted July 8, 2012 Hmmm... So I guess there is a mutual agreement that submissive means completely controlled. In my opinion, submissive means stepping down and letting the man take the lead. Sexually, for example, that would mean that for that night, he could do whatever he wanted to me (he is my BF obviously he won't do anything harmful). But that brings me to another, quite weird, question. I don't know how many of you have experience with this, but do you think that voluntarily participating in D/S role playing games would help build trust between two partners? Or does the trust already need to be established for this kind of role playing to occur? Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I think that as humans have developed, there are certain masculine and feminine energies that resonate differently in every individual. That's why there are Dom women and sub guys. Just like Dom men and sub women. The way I see it, there are lots of people who are in between those two very extreme energies, and as such can alternate between them. Anyway I digress. I think that while a lot of women are naturally submissive (to the right man with authentic dominance), they are socialized to understand certain words differently, words like submissive. They associate it with something negative, despite the word itself not being of positive or negative assertion. So they think of submissive as doormat, when it isn't. The way I see it, I think women hate the idea of being doormats, or being with men who try to force dominance, hence why they are vocal about it. But with a man who has personal authority and authentic dominance, no matter how independent a woman is (which is good IMO), when it comes down to it, she positively yields to her man. Personally, I am not a super dominant person, so I prefer a woman who matches me on those terms, but is interchangeable - like I am. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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