Author tusharsolanki Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 yeah, your rite chitown.. some people already came to know abt it... they say the same kinda thing.. you did a lot dude, we know.. just sit back whats done is done... but even dat sort of sympathy is lost on me... they have no idea what she meant to me... what i meant to her.. or atleast what she said i meant to her... m really affraid from inside... i m trying to avoid the facts... the scene keeps coming in front of my eyes again and again.. the moment i saw those texts... nd i get crushed every time.. i cant face the fact that she was cheating.. what abt my love?.. i loved her so much dat even a rock would have fallen in love with me if i had done all those things to it.. nd dat guy? dat stupid sh*t dint do anythng.. literally nothng.. dat ass vanished the moment the truth came out, leaving her.... he dint know i was her bf and they werent commited or anythng.. but they used to exchange all the i love yous and all dat.. can u imagine she was cheating me with that load of sh*t.. people dint even know he existed in our college.. i gave everythng to her chittown.. and instead i got cheated for some random guy, and got the whole world of pain, misery.. freinds are sayng she lost a great guy by loosing you.. maybe, maybe not.. but i m loosing every single minute.. cos i can assure you i cannot love anyone more than this.. its finished in me now... its over.
Author tusharsolanki Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 he said they dint get physicall all the way.. but i dont wana think of it.. i might just stab myself instead of thinking about how physical they got... it'l mean a whole new world of pain and agony..
Author tusharsolanki Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 head sashed - lol... sure.. if at all i get my life back some day... il surely pick my self up and get over to you guys.. beer and a dance floor will just make my day...
Chi townD Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 (edited) they have no idea what she meant to me... what i meant to her.. or atleast what she said i meant to her.... Yep! That's the suck of it. I know well enough that there is absolutely nothing anyone can say or do to make you feel any better right now. It's going to take time. I've posted my story a couple of times in the past, so I'll give you the short version. I was with this girl many, many years ago and I was supposed to marry her. Well, I caught her cheating on me. She turned on me like venom. She told me that I was a loser and I had no goals in life. That I was never going to college and I was just going to be stuck working dead end jobs for the rest of my life. She was going with someone that had goals in life. Like, cheating on me wasn't enough, she had to lay that crap on me. So, I was in a major depression. And one friday afternoon, a friend of mine literally kidnapped me. He threw me on a train with him and a couple of hours later, we were in St. Louis. We checked into the Sheridan and we just explored St. Louis. Went to a baseball game and at night we checked out the club scene. I even danced with a few girls. And then it hit me. There's a world out HERE and my world wasn't her. And I was determined to prove her wrong. After that weekend, I got motivated. I did get into college and a LOT of it. I found I enjoyed the challange of it. I started my career after college and became successful in my field. All the while, I got the bug for travel and to see the world. white water rafting in West Virginia, dog sledding in Minnesota. France, England, Ireland, Spain, Germany, Japan, Brazil, Morroco, South Korea, Bahamas, Jamaica, Cuba.....just to name a few....I've been to them all. I've met some really interesting people along the way. Including my wife who've I've been happily married to for several years now and thank GOD she understands my need for travel. My life is pretty good right now. So, the proof is in the pudding. IT DOES GET BETTER! You have to just give yourself some time and more importantly, you need to work on you! WTF HEAD!!!! You just gonna push me into a corner to talk with some old bird?!?! I aint THAT old! If I wasn't married, your head would spin on how fast I could charm the hell out of some girls! You know that actor? Brad Pitt?....well, I look nothing like the dude, so it comes down to personality and I got a lot of it! Older guys get handsome and distinguished!! Edited July 9, 2012 by Chi townD
skyisfalling Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 That's such a great story Chi townD!! So did your ex ever come groveling back? Has she seen the "new" you ever? Did ya stick it to her? Yep! That's the suck of it. I know well enough that there is absolutely nothing anyone can say or do to make you feel any better right now. It's going to take time. I've posted my story a couple of times in the past, so I'll give you the short version. I was with this girl many, many years ago and I was supposed to marry her. Well, I caught her cheating on me. She turned on me like venom. She told me that I was a loser and I had no goals in life. That I was never going to college and I was just going to be stuck working dead end jobs for the rest of my life. She was going with someone that had goals in life. Like, cheating on me wasn't enough, she had to lay that crap on me. So, I was in a major depression. And one friday afternoon, a friend of mine literally kidnapped me. He threw me on a train with him and a couple of hours later, we were in St. Louis. We checked into the Sheridan and we just explored St. Louis. Went to a baseball game and at night we checked out the club scene. I even danced with a few girls. And then it hit me. There's a world out HERE and my world wasn't her. And I was determined to prove her wrong. After that weekend, I got motivated. I did get into college and a LOT of it. I found I enjoyed the challange of it. I started my career after college and became successful in my field. All the while, I got the bug for travel and to see the world. white water rafting in West Virginia, dog sledding in Minnesota. France, England, Ireland, Spain, Germany, Japan, Brazil, Morroco, South Korea, Bahamas, Jamaica, Cuba.....just to name a few....I've been to them all. I've met some really interesting people along the way. Including my wife who've I've been happily married to for several years now and thank GOD she understands my need for travel. My life is pretty good right now. So, the proof is in the pudding. IT DOES GET BETTER! You have to just give yourself some time and more importantly, you need to work on you! WTF HEAD!!!! You just gonna push me into a corner to talk with some old bird?!?! I aint THAT old! If I wasn't married, your head would spin on how fast I could charm the hell out of some girls! You know that actor? Brad Pitt?....well, I look nothing like the dude, so it comes down to personality and I got a lot of it! Older guys get handsome and distinguished!!
Chi townD Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 (edited) LOL! Thanks. You know, in the beginning. My self improvements were to prove her wrong, but about a year later, it became about me. I was doing the work, I was the one studying until 1:30 in the morning, it was about me dedicating myself to my goals because, in the end, she wasn't going to be the one benefiting from my hard work. So, she became an after thought. She never came back to me or even sought me out. I did hear that she ended up marrying the guy she cheat on me with. But, I also heard it was a shotgun wedding. He was in college and had to drop out and get a job because she got pregnant. Last I heard, the guy she left me for that had goals in life was an ambulance driver. About 5 months ago, I had a chance encounter with her. I was on my way driving across the city to get to a meeting. I knew the meeting was going to be INCREDIBLY boring, so I stopped off at a coffee shop (starbucks) to get a Latte to get me through the meeting. As I was getting out of my car, guess who was walking out of the Starbucks? YEP!! The Ex! And dammit if she still didn't look good. I was always hoping that she would have been 300 LBS and wearing a moo moo if I ever saw her again. But, I have to give her credit, she still looked good! I knew it was her because I had to take a double take, and she did the same thing. We didn't say anything to each other. However, she did see me wearing a suit and climbing out of my Lexus and she was climbing into her beat up Jetta! But, again, I should be thanking her in a weird way. After everything she did to me, it got me motivated to start my life. Edited July 9, 2012 by Chi townD
skyisfalling Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 LOVE IT! Thanks for the story, its truly inspiring! LOL! Thanks. You know, in the beginning. My self improvements were to prove her wrong, but about a year later, it became about me. I was doing the work, I was the one studying until 1:30 in the morning, it was about me dedicating myself to my goals because, in the end, she wasn't going to be the one benefiting from my hard work. So, she became an after thought. She never came back to me or even sought me out. I did hear that she ended up marrying the guy she cheat on me with. But, I also heard it was a shotgun wedding. He was in college and had to drop out and get a job because she got pregnant. Last I heard, the guy she left me for that had goals in life was an ambulance driver. About 5 months ago, I had a chance encounter with her. I was on my way driving across the city to get to a meeting. I knew the meeting was going to be INCREDIBLY boring, so I stopped off at a coffee shop (starbucks) to get a Latte to get me through the meeting. As I was getting out of my car, guess who was walking out of the Starbucks? YEP!! The Ex! And dammit if she still didn't look good. I was always hoping that she would have been 300 LBS and wearing a moo moo if I ever saw her again. But, I have to give her credit, she still looked good! I knew it was her because I had to take a double take, and she did the same thing. We didn't say anything to each other. However, she did see me wearing a suit and climbing out of my Lexus and she was climbing into her beat up Jetta! But, again, I should be thanking her in a weird way. After everything she did to me, it got me motivated to start my life.
Author tusharsolanki Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 wow... bravo... who knew i'd get inspired by guys who i'd just met at an online forum a day ago.. i have a feeling il end up owing my new reformed life to a person like you.. i used to wonder how headsashed recovered after such a break up... i can see now who helped him.. thank you chi townd... you'r the man..
headsashed Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 wow... bravo... who knew i'd get inspired by guys who i'd just met at an online forum a day ago.. i have a feeling il end up owing my new reformed life to a person like you.. i used to wonder how headsashed recovered after such a break up... i can see now who helped him.. thank you chi townd... you'r the man.. Everyone helped me on here,just like were all helping you right not,chitown is just an inspiration,we have private messaged a few times and hes great,just wait until i visit america and show him how us british really do it,unless he fancies paying for me haha. Im not fully recovered either,im just coping but in a posotive way,life can and will only get better. I still hurt alot but its nothing like it used to be,i just try live life now and its really working. Even though i still love and miss my ex i know that 1 day some girl will come along and will wipe me off my feet,until that day comes illl continue to enjoy my life as a single person.
Chi townD Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Christ, If Head comes to America, I'm gonna need bail money. And head is right, this forum is a collective effort for anyone that needs help. It definately wasn't just me giving advice to him, a lot of people weighed in on his case. If I were you, I would go on a trip somewhere. Doesn't have to be far, exotic. Just away. especially if your on summer break from college. That's the worst. Sitting at home and wondering what she's doing. If you take a trip somewhere, it keeps your mind offf of her and focused on your adventure. For instance, I'm kind of a water buff, sorta an amature marine biologist. One day I was reading an article on a marine coral reef state park in Key Largo, Florida and the article talked about a huge bronze statue that was placed there called "Christ of the Abyss" and I was like, "WHAT?!?! I got to see this thing." So, I talked to my friend (the one who kidnapped me) and he was onboard, another friend loved Florida, but has never been to the Florida keys, so he was onboard. Another was onboard, but he was resistant to going to our local Park District so we could get our basic scuba certification. But, peer pressure is a b*tch, so he agreed to take the classes with us. I looked into flights and we would go for five days. I found a flight that was about 300 round trip (these was before prices got stupid). We are bring the wives so 600. I found a huge beach house in Pine Key that was sorta the halfway point between key West and key largo. they wanted $2000 for the week, but since we were only going to be there 5 days on the off season, they shaved a few of hundred off the final price. so that was about 425 a couple. We rented a minivan that could hold eight and that was a few hundred bucks divided buy 4. and the rst was personal spending money for each couple. So, five day vacation for a little over a thousand. And the guys went on the dive and the girls went to get mani and pedi's and shopping. During the dive the guys got mad at me. You could have snorkeled to the statue rather than getting dive certifications..OPPS!! I DIDN"T KNOW!!! But, I will tell you, it was amazing. The statue was bigger than what I expected and it was a statue of christ reaching up and looking up under the water. It was eerie yet awesome! There were stingrays and nurse sharks down there and staghorn corals, and sea fans, sponges, I really can't describe it. It something you have to experience And it is memories I will have for the rest of my life. So, start an adventure, the world is outside your door, go see it!!
Samilia Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Sorry to hear that, that got to "suck" to put it crudely. I hope you get past the initial shock soon... PS: oooh the idea of a trip if you can afford it sounds good to me!!! 1
Kovalchoke Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Hi, I know what you're feeling. I used to do the same stuff for my ex, write poems, gifts with sentimental value, and alot of non materialistic ways of showing i cared, like seeing her in extremely bad weather and when it wasn't convenient for me. I think guys who write poetry are truly good-hearted and faithful. The fact that she cheated on you is hard to hear. It's also a fact that there are really evil people out there that don't have a heart or self-control. Cheating is a really cowardly and gutless move. You know the saying, once a cheater always a cheater. You said the guy she cheated on you with is no longer there as well. I'm guessing he cheated on your ex or left her. Think of that as her karma for cheating on you. To be honest, you're better off without a cheater, somebody that doesn't care about your feelings. What you need to do now is heal and go NC. Good luck. 1
Author tusharsolanki Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 headsashed - yep i know wot you mean.. i know its gona be tough.. it is alrady so tough... i mean i saw her laughing at a joke some one threw around in the lecture hall and i had to borrow my freind's aviators to hide the pain that had sudenly started flowing through the eyes.. thats how fu**ed up i am rite now.. i am willing to get well.. its my life thats being thrown to dogs afterall.. so il do anythng that wil get me back on track.. i had never imagined life beyond her, that was my mistake.. but now i know theres a whole new world out there to explore and gain from it.. i'l still keep posting here cos i know il need to for some days to come.. nd definately even after i find my sanity.
Author tusharsolanki Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 Christ, If Head comes to America, I'm gonna need bail money. And head is right, this forum is a collective effort for anyone that needs help. It definately wasn't just me giving advice to him, a lot of people weighed in on his case. If I were you, I would go on a trip somewhere. Doesn't have to be far, exotic. Just away. especially if your on summer break from college. That's the worst. Sitting at home and wondering what she's doing. If you take a trip somewhere, it keeps your mind offf of her and focused on your adventure. For instance, I'm kind of a water buff, sorta an amature marine biologist. One day I was reading an article on a marine coral reef state park in Key Largo, Florida and the article talked about a huge bronze statue that was placed there called "Christ of the Abyss" and I was like, "WHAT?!?! I got to see this thing." So, I talked to my friend (the one who kidnapped me) and he was onboard, another friend loved Florida, but has never been to the Florida keys, so he was onboard. Another was onboard, but he was resistant to going to our local Park District so we could get our basic scuba certification. But, peer pressure is a b*tch, so he agreed to take the classes with us. I looked into flights and we would go for five days. I found a flight that was about 300 round trip (these was before prices got stupid). We are bring the wives so 600. I found a huge beach house in Pine Key that was sorta the halfway point between key West and key largo. they wanted $2000 for the week, but since we were only going to be there 5 days on the off season, they shaved a few of hundred off the final price. so that was about 425 a couple. We rented a minivan that could hold eight and that was a few hundred bucks divided buy 4. and the rst was personal spending money for each couple. So, five day vacation for a little over a thousand. And the guys went on the dive and the girls went to get mani and pedi's and shopping. During the dive the guys got mad at me. You could have snorkeled to the statue rather than getting dive certifications..OPPS!! I DIDN"T KNOW!!! But, I will tell you, it was amazing. The statue was bigger than what I expected and it was a statue of christ reaching up and looking up under the water. It was eerie yet awesome! There were stingrays and nurse sharks down there and staghorn corals, and sea fans, sponges, I really can't describe it. It something you have to experience And it is memories I will have for the rest of my life. So, start an adventure, the world is outside your door, go see it!! dat sounded a lot of fun.. and man that statue of the christ must have been some kind of a whole new experience.. m a travell person too.. maybe il go on a cross country road trip or somethng.. talked with a few freinds.. and theyr into it.. they refused to get their gfs along so that it would be just us guys.. personalyy i thnk they did it so dat i dnt feel wierd abt me being recently single.. but the trip can be planned only two mths after... as we'v got evaluations and serious college stuff coming up.. tiil then il just hang on in here.. and try to survive..
Author tusharsolanki Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 Sorry to hear that, that got to "suck" to put it crudely. I hope you get past the initial shock soon... i hope so too.. the shock hasnt really geared down... every night i get up after a night mare totally screwed.. you can i magine what kind of nightmares they are... sometimes involving just our mmories... and sometimes its just much more terryfying..
Author tusharsolanki Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 Sorry to hear that, that got to "suck" to put it crudely. I hope you get past the initial shock soon... PS: oooh the idea of a trip if you can afford it sounds good to me!!! Hi, I know what you're feeling. I used to do the same stuff for my ex, write poems, gifts with sentimental value, and alot of non materialistic ways of showing i cared, like seeing her in extremely bad weather and when it wasn't convenient for me. I think guys who write poetry are truly good-hearted and faithful. The fact that she cheated on you is hard to hear. It's also a fact that there are really evil people out there that don't have a heart or self-control. Cheating is a really cowardly and gutless move. You know the saying, once a cheater always a cheater. You said the guy she cheated on you with is no longer there as well. I'm guessing he cheated on your ex or left her. Think of that as her karma for cheating on you. To be honest, you're better off without a cheater, somebody that doesn't care about your feelings. What you need to do now is heal and go NC. Good luck. yep, thats exactly what happened.. if i had loved her even a percent more i would have as well gone ahead and get married to her.. dats how deep my love was.. and dont just let me rant about my love ... i assure you she was in love with me too... she never let me feel that i was being cheated for the past 3 mths... dats why it shook my ancestors the moment i came to know.. it was like out of the blue.. it shattered my heart.. and i could even pick up the pieces of my heart because she was still in them.. it was cowardly on her part.. if even after loving her so much she cheated on me then i dont have an idea what kind of an effort on my part would have kept her from cheating.. the part that sucks the most is that i still feel protective abt her.. regarding every single thng.. i even try to help her out with her problems through my frends without her knowing abt it... haha.. i mean... wtf??? she was really very beautifull... i see people now, i see her face in them.. damn!! i even see her pug if i see a german shephard... i dont want a girl to fill the gap in me.. al i wanted was her to realise and if possible repent.. but i dnt even care abt dat now... all i want is to get out of it.. and leave the pain and sorrow behind me... NC is gonna be my new girlfriend..
Kovalchoke Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 (edited) yep, thats exactly what happened.. if i had loved her even a percent more i would have as well gone ahead and get married to her.. dats how deep my love was.. and dont just let me rant about my love ... i assure you she was in love with me too... she never let me feel that i was being cheated for the past 3 mths... dats why it shook my ancestors the moment i came to know.. it was like out of the blue.. it shattered my heart.. and i could even pick up the pieces of my heart because she was still in them.. it was cowardly on her part.. if even after loving her so much she cheated on me then i dont have an idea what kind of an effort on my part would have kept her from cheating.. the part that sucks the most is that i still feel protective abt her.. regarding every single thng.. i even try to help her out with her problems through my frends without her knowing abt it... haha.. i mean... wtf??? she was really very beautifull... i see people now, i see her face in them.. damn!! i even see her pug if i see a german shephard... i dont want a girl to fill the gap in me.. al i wanted was her to realise and if possible repent.. but i dnt even care abt dat now... all i want is to get out of it.. and leave the pain and sorrow behind me... NC is gonna be my new girlfriend.. I know. I don't even know if my ex cheated on me, but i guess she was since she was always getting rides to work and school from guys that liked her, and she claimed she wasn't cheating. I would rather have my partner come clean and tell me rather than hide it. Don't be mad, It's none of your fault, it's hers. Believe me when i say this, but people that do this will come to realize one day that they made the wrong choice. I know in a matter of time she will reflect on your relationship with her and one day will realize what she did, and will miss you. How long has it been since you two broke up? I know what you mean when you say you feel protective about her. I tried "protecting" my ex from the party scene, knowing it's not any good -- But nowadays I hear she's really fake and has turned into someone i don't know at all. Maybe i never knew her in the first place. I hear painful things like her doing drugs and drinking with guys. I tried to help her with her problems too -- I tried talking to her about her bad habits like how she almost failed all her classes, her bad spending habits, slutty attitude, and how alot of people don't like her, but she really didn't care and replied with a "#yolo". I'm not over my ex girlfriend, and sometimes I ask people how she's doing, what she's been upto etc. As hard as this sounds, it's wrong for me to do that because it's really none of my business anymore. It's been almost 3 weeks for me with NC, and she hasn't said anything to me, which makes me sad but at the same time I'm learning how to let go. Just remember. Inevitably, the further you run from your sins, the more exhausted you are when they catch up to you, and they do. Edited July 10, 2012 by Kovalchoke 1
Sugarkane Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 You should listen to Chi Town, he is so inspiring! 1
Author tusharsolanki Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 kovalchoke - thanx mate.. its just been arnd 10 days.. so you know the wound is fresh and deep... i just hope she realises what she has done... but i wana be so strong that i shouldnt be giving a damn even if she doesnt realise one bit... i just wana forget her.. though i dont think il ever even stop lovng her... but what i want to be able to do is cmpletely forget her..like if in the future she crosses me i would have no positive feeling or even negative feelings.. it should feel like just a stranger passing by..
Author tusharsolanki Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 guys its been three days since i adopted the nc rule.. and its been 10 days since my break up.. you all know the story... she just broke her nc few minutes back by sending me a text sayng - will you ever be able to forgive me from your heart..? i dont know what to do. m really tensed.. i really wanted to reply somethng... i believe i should just be strong and carry on the nc with her... please advice.. its hard not to reply her.. there is like a lava playing soccer inside me.. i really still feel a lot for her and mylove hasnt narrowed down a bit... i think its normal to want her back in my life, but i shoudnt go for it right? please help..
Author tusharsolanki Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 please help me guys... she just texted me another one sayng - "please say something..." i need some advice.. its hard to controll myself from texting back.. should i or should i not? its too much of pain to bear...
headsashed Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 what u mean chitown,you will need bail money lol,i aint that bad ya know
Author tusharsolanki Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 hey headsashed... please tell me what should i do..? i got a text from her it said - "will you ever be able to forgive me from your heart" i dint reply.. then after arnd 2 hrs she said - "please say something.." i dint reply again... and then half hr back she sent another text sayng - " m really very unwell... please say somethng... ? " what should i do man...?? she trigering my feelings... after 3 days of nc i feel like i am about to break it... i really love her like a psycho.. want her back... but i dont thnk i should do anythng... rite?
Chi townD Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 (edited) Personally, I wouldn't say anything. But, if you're freaking out that bad, then send her a text or e-mail stating that you two are broken up and you've already forgiven her as a person but she crossed the line as a girlfriend. You should also state that you think it would be best that you didn't contact her. That this isn't a punishment, but you need time to heal and with her contacting you all the time is making it hard for you to do so. Be completely business like "as a matter of fact" as possible. No emotions what-so-ever. Don't let her gage where your head is at. If she thinks you're buckling, she's going to play with your emotions. Remember, she cheated on you. She she gave herself to another dude and was intimate with him when she promised to be exclusive to you. Did you deserve that? So, be careful of what you text or e-mail Then, leave it at that. Back to NC. But, personally, I think your silence says the same thing. It's your call though. Edited July 10, 2012 by Chi townD
Kovalchoke Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Good job. Dont say anything to her and keep nc. Hang in there. It seems like we both wont get over them ever and i think they'll always remain a part of us. Who knows... Everyday for me is just a day to get over her and it sucks! 1
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