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Posted

I was wondering for those of you guys who broke up with your gf what are some of the things that helped get you guys together..My gf broke up with me yesterday officially, we ended on good terms she asked to be friends but i told her i dont know if i can be friends.

Posted (edited)
I was wondering for those of you guys who broke up with your gf what are some of the things that helped get you guys together..My gf broke up with me yesterday officially, we ended on good terms she asked to be friends but i told her i dont know if i can be friends.

 

I haven't experienced the comeback thing yet. Hence, you may say that I don't have any right to post on your thread.

 

But let me give you this... NC has always been the advice of all the people here. Take note that this is not to play games with your partner but to basically give both of you the time to heal with the breakup. (Playing games is the last thing you'll ever wanted. You don't wanna end up hurting both of your feelings further...)

Right now both of you are clouded by your emotions due to issues that resulted to your BU.

 

The fear of the unknown is whats killing us now. That can result to too much over thinking sadly.. It's pure NEGATIVE. (which drains you.. believe me I've been there.)What we have to regain now is our composure of what we used to be during our HAPPY TIMES with our partners.

 

I myself when my Ex-Gf broke up with me I was clouded as well and would at least consider the "Friendzone" (done this done that). But man one day I woke up and told myself.. Buddy never settle for anything less. So if you want to be loved,admired..and if you wanna DANCE AGAIN.

 

We have to be the man that we once were..

Confident,Pleasing,Appealing,Humorous... etc We have to be the character that we are once loved. Not the character that is eating us little by little.

 

Doing the things you love,working out,start doing a new hobby.. etc will help you get that right perspective.

 

I promise you its gonna be hard.. No one said it was easy man.. But you/we have to get our acts right. We are once loved by these women because of who we are... Now we can do it again and again and again... But not when we are enveloped with too much NEGATIVITY.

 

So if you are eying,aiming,pushing for CHANGE. It has to come from within first. (This must be done for you.. for self Improvement) Sooner or later everything will follow. They'll know they will... If the love was true and real chances are high that they will come back.Though it will take time.. no one knows.. Hence,hafta leave it to FATE alone.

Edited by Boynextdoor
Posted

First off I am the dumpee, my bf broke up with me at the end of January, stating he needed space and didnt know what he wanted. I didnt take the request for space well - I text-bombed him til he broke up with me completely. I was devastated, that's what led me to LS.

 

This past week he sent me a text out of the blue saying that he missed me and wanted us to get together and spend some time alone. I was floored because he was so cold through the breakup and a few weeks after (we are co-workers as well and had to see one another everyday). I agreed as I had been missing him like hell too. We got together this weekend and had a great time, as though we hadnt even broken up by the end of the night. We kissed and touched and talked intimately... a complete shocker to me that he had missed me. We are much more attuned to one another now, much more considerate and communicative.

 

I guess what really made the difference for us was time and space apart. It took 6 months for us to really realize what we had lost when we broke up. We have both reflected on what tore us apart the first time and I think the time apart was an absolute blessing in disguise.

Posted

just curious 'sweetheart5381' what did you do during those 6 months apart? see other people? date? had you guys spoken at all?

Posted
just curious 'sweetheart5381' what did you do during those 6 months apart? see other people? date? had you guys spoken at all?

 

We work together so we saw each other everyday. It was very, very painful in the first few weeks and we basically ignored one another, we were both hurting pretty bad then. I went total NC for 3 weeks, sent an apologetic text to which he answered but we had another outburst of pain, then another 3 weeks of NC personally, but LC at work... we had to remain professional, we work in an engineering company.

 

We eventually decided to be friends (I put the sword and shield down in hindsight). In the last 2 months we have talked, small talk, nothing of our personal romantic lives. We respected each other enough to not speak of that stuff. We really only talked during smoke break at work when we ran into one another. The only thing personal he told me via text back in May was that he didnt have a gf (I had asked him if he wanted to get together for a beer, I was under alot of stress atm but then apologized stating that I would understand if he has a gf and he can't). It seemed important for him to let me know that he didnt have a gf, even though I didnt really care if he did as I was moving on fast.

 

This weekend he was totally honest about what he has been doing the last 5 months, he has been on dates, having fun etc. I have been on dates, having fun too... but no one seems to compare to the connection we have and we both know it now.

 

Time and space apart helped us to see how great we are together. We both had our doubts and fears, we are both commitment-phobes but we still have to ride this one out to see where it goes.

Posted

I also want to know those histories, hoping they will help me too :)

Posted

you can do what i did

 

i begged, cried and when she did come back she was a total b*tch that left me again, i wasnt happy with the new version of her and it showed then she left again.

 

i will never put myself in that scenario ever again

Posted
I haven't experienced the comeback thing yet. Hence, you may say that I don't have any right to post on your thread.

 

But let me give you this... NC has always been the advice of all the people here. Take note that this is not to play games with your partner but to basically give both of you the time to heal with the breakup. (Playing games is the last thing you'll ever wanted. You don't wanna end up hurting both of your feelings further...)

Right now both of you are clouded by your emotions due to issues that resulted to your BU.

 

The fear of the unknown is whats killing us now. That can result to too much over thinking sadly.. It's pure NEGATIVE. (which drains you.. believe me I've been there.)What we have to regain now is our composure of what we used to be during our HAPPY TIMES with our partners.

 

I myself when my Ex-Gf broke up with me I was clouded as well and would at least consider the "Friendzone" (done this done that). But man one day I woke up and told myself.. Buddy never settle for anything less. So if you want to be loved,admired..and if you wanna DANCE AGAIN.

 

We have to be the man that we once were..

Confident,Pleasing,Appealing,Humorous... etc We have to be the character that we are once loved. Not the character that is eating us little by little.

 

Doing the things you love,working out,start doing a new hobby.. etc will help you get that right perspective.

 

I promise you its gonna be hard.. No one said it was easy man.. But you/we have to get our acts right. We are once loved by these women because of who we are... Now we can do it again and again and again... But not when we are enveloped with too much NEGATIVITY.

 

So if you are eying,aiming,pushing for CHANGE. It has to come from within first. (This must be done for you.. for self Improvement) Sooner or later everything will follow. They'll know they will... If the love was true and real chances are high that they will come back.Though it will take time.. no one knows.. Hence,hafta leave it to FATE alone.

 

This is awesome :)

Damn straight!

 

Be the best YOU can be!!!!

Posted

I hope more people will share their histories, some of us don't have any clue! This is my first serious RS and the first BU that I really cared about, and I don't know how to act.

It'll be such a good information to know what worked for others... we can't live all experiences on our own :)

Posted

No one can tell u what to do as you will inevitably do whatever you want to do all we can do is give out advice.....

 

I had a similar experience this weekend with my ex and now we are back talking and seeing we're it goes but moving slowly read the baby steps thread.....

 

I went NC fully from day 1 of the split (was initiated by me) I still had feelings for her so I told her how I felt I have many fears and doubts but I have to know I tried and stuck this out for her and make sure I improve as a boyfriend and still improve for myself also.......

Posted
No one can tell u what to do as you will inevitably do whatever you want to do all we can do is give out advice.....

 

I had a similar experience this weekend with my ex and now we are back talking and seeing we're it goes but moving slowly read the baby steps thread.....

 

I went NC fully from day 1 of the split (was initiated by me) I still had feelings for her so I told her how I felt I have many fears and doubts but I have to know I tried and stuck this out for her and make sure I improve as a boyfriend and still improve for myself also.......

 

Yeah, but your advice and experiencies have great value for newbies like us ;). Thank you for sharing :)

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