How to trust and accept back my ex... that is keeping hurting me or ignoring me

[slide]

I'm new here.

I admit that I knew this website in a particular strange way: my ex gf wrote something here about me... I found her here, looking in google. When I saw her post I was so angry, because... she wrote something about me, not true at all. Anyway, this is not the topic I wanna talk about.

My girls experience was positive. And I can say I quite know girls. So many girls around me talk with me, asking me for advices and appreciating me. I always have chances to meet and talk with girls. But in my mind, in my heart... there is just one. Just because of alchemy... I never found before.

 

I love her.

In the beginning, we weren't ready: I did my mistakes and she did her mistakes also. The problem is: she always took care about my mistakes, that's why she pointed the finger on me and doesn't trust me so much.

 

After a while she cheated on me. With the ex. Even if she told me "don't worry about my ex, I won't talk with him, and I won't reply him". I knew the ex bf was still in love with her, and I knew he wanna break us, and take a chance for be back. So he found a really good satisfaction in it.

It was really horrible. I was trying my best for gave her safety, I was even asking money to bank for pay relationships stuffs... and she went away for cheating on me.

 

When I found out the cheating... well... I didn't know what to do. But then I forgave her. She wanna go on with me, just with me and she did something for me.

I admit I refused girls while I was with her. We are in a distance relationship. I know what it means "cheat on"... I did it when I was younger, and I found is really bad and dirty thing - sure I won't do it anymore.

 

The day after I forgave her about the cheating, she saw me emotional, and she told me "You cannot do like this, you are annoying me, I have to leave you". She leaves me???? I was forgiving her for the cheating, and the she says "I leave you"??? I was so angry. This is the first thing I remember. Really horrible.

All I did last 2 years is doing really good things for her, and she always found excuses for don't appreciate me. I think I fell in depression, as now...

6 months ago we had a break, I didn't wanna go on anymore... I found out she is too bad for me, and she didn't trust me, she didn't let me explain... horrible. I gave her chances to show me she felt guilty, or bad, about what she done... but she never wanna repair. So I went away.

After some months I saw she was looking at me, checking me... so... I asked her if she wanna try again. Power of love. She told me she didn't expect this, and she felt something strange, good, positive. After some days she told me she never stopped to love me, and the ex is just a friend, she doesn't feel anything for him. But she needs money, and the ex can give her the money she needs... and so, she wanna know what I can do for her... so she asked me for money. She needed it for august, and we were talking in May.

Honestly I was blocked. I thought she didn't find the right moment for ask me for money: I was just back to her, after months away... she hurt me so much in the past, I always was the one making efforts. I was always beliving in us. My opinion was to "restart in a positive way", enjoy this "fate" present, without make huge efforts to each others, just enjoying days and let trust grow up. But her request made me feel so bad. I told her "yes, if we are together I will help you", but I also ask her to show me the proof of her love, because I already made efforts for her, and I got back delusions, comparations as "you didn't do anything special, all my ex bf's did this for me". I also told her that I don't feel good she told me "my ex can give me money, can you give me money too?".

I admit it's so difficult be so positive and fantastic, if my girl doesn't appreciate me in the way it's right and she is so ambiguos.

But - about the money she asked me - I told her that I wanna help her.

I think that she can have easily this money from the ex, and he can give her with less problems. But she asked me.

I admit she was angry because I tried to find other ways to give her money. For days she asked me, and one time she also was also violent with me and... I didn't react. I just told her to calm down, and I can try my best for it. It was so painful.

I started to feel uncomfort. I was thinking that she didn't respect me, she was violent, she asked me money and she expected just one answer: "YES I give you".

I told her my situation, and she told me it's just excuse for don't give her. After 5 days I told her that I felt uncomfort and she didn't listen to me, I told her: "Please, I think what we need is trust each others. You ask me to trust you again, and give you money. But if you trust me.... why you cannot also show me you love me? Love is give and receive, and I also need to be loved. If I talk and you never consider my words, and my feelings, my life with be like hell".

She was so angry about my words... she told me "I leave you". I know girls sometimes say so, but she said too many times to me last 2 years and I told her to don't say this to me anymore for a while.

The day after this fight, I was so busy and she knew it. I slept 4 hours just for stay awake in the night and talk with her, for comfort her and try to calm her down. In the morning I had time for talk with her, but she was sleeping so I didn't phone her. In the afternoon I needed to clean and prepare my apartment, my brother came in my apartment, so I supposed I can wait for her in chat... but she didn't come. Then my friends came for the evening, and I cannot spend time phoning her with my brother and my friends close there, because - I know - she will keep me so much time on the phone and - being the house master - I cannot go away leaving my guests there alone. So we shared a SMS, I think we both got hurt so I think she can wait, or she can phone me and ask me to stay on the phone, if this is what she wanted.

The day after she wrote me: "I hate you , I needed comfort and you didn't phone me, I leave you, bye". Then she didn't let me talk and she left.

I think I also needed comfort for days, and she didn't listen to me but... of course, she is a woman, and I tried to let it go. But I didn't like she left, and she didn't let me talk.

 

Well, she disappeared.

Now she doesn't answer my phone calls, my SMS, my emails. She started to have interaction with the ex bf, on facebook I saw it. It makes me feel so down...

I feel I'm right, in everything I did and I do. Talk is normal in a relationship, that's what I tried to do. I always think how much I'm patient and tolerant, and how much she is demanding.... I feel the right one in this, but be the right one doesn't work if on the other side there is a person who doesn't care about her actions. Be right, it doesn't help me to feel good. Everytime I think if she was a little more reasonable, tolerant, patient, serious... a woman, and not a little girl... I can be so happy and I can go on with her for have a family.... and so on...

 

What I want is "TO KNOW". What I can do? Sorry, I was so long but the situation is really... strange....

Any help, suggestion, especially from a girl???

Edited July 8, 2012 by slide
correct

[Philosoraptor]

You want advice? Get away from this immature girl. She is doing nothing but causing you drama and taking advantage of you.

 

You think that if she was a lot of things you'd be happy, but you need to look at it and see that she is none of those things. Which is why you're unhappy.