Author henderson14 Posted July 8, 2012 Author Posted July 8, 2012 I read them bro, and "dated a lot" with sex issues means she slept around. Make no mistake, she does like you, and probably a lot, but she is broken, and you will suffer for her past. She will be a prude with you, where she has been a slut for others. You are likely a quality dude, and she recognizes this, because likely she hasn't been with many, and she cheated on the ones she was with. You WILL eventually get some, but she is effe'd up, and if I were you I would run. I'm telling you cause I have been there. You get the stigma of dating the used goods without any of the uninhibited sex that makes that tolerable. It will be missionary, candle light, soft music, and a lot of pussy eating for you. And good luck getting head. JS The only reason I might believe this is because I met her off an online dating site where people are plagued with issues. I don't see why she would have even brought it up though if she just slept around. She could have made up anything. Either way, the red flag is up right now.
maybealone Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 A person can change their dating, relationship, intimacy and sexual styles at any time. It's a choice. Yes, and some people actually learn and grow from past dating and sexual experiences. I don't think there is anything wrong with waiting more than four dates for sex. I would imagine a woman would have to be pretty damn irritating for a man not to be able to tough it out for four dates if he is looking to get laid. Look at it another way -- if every woman "gives it up" by the third date, and you marry one of them when you both are in your 30s, how many men do you think your wife would have slept with before you came along? How many men do you think your future daughter will sleep with under those rules before she gets married? Getting a little pickier as one gets older seems like a good thing to me.
Algermas Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Yes, and some people actually learn and grow from past dating and sexual experiences. I don't think there is anything wrong with waiting more than four dates for sex. I would imagine a woman would have to be pretty damn irritating for a man not to be able to tough it out for four dates if he is looking to get laid. Look at it another way -- if every woman "gives it up" by the third date, and you marry one of them when you both are in your 30s, how many men do you think your wife would have slept with before you came along? How many men do you think your future daughter will sleep with under those rules before she gets married? Getting a little pickier as one gets older seems like a good thing to me. It always fascinates me how women, as they decrease in value, think they can heighten their standards. Quite hilarious really. What kind of incentive is there for men to be that loser who gets to court her in order to gain entry to her by now well used vagina when, like I said, everyone else got to bang it hot and fast?
4givrnt4gtr Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 First off...wow...SOme of the things some of the guys are saying here....wow.... "It always fascinates me how women, as they decrease in value" Wow...are we like...cars??? that we decrease in value according to how many relationships we've had??? "The OP is supposed to have respect for some village bicycle broad" Uhh....and you gathered she was a "village bicycle broad" because she may have started relationships that got physical way too quickly? (never mind whether she may have meant one or two?) again...wow "She will be a prude with you, where she has been a slut for others. You are likely a quality dude, and she recognizes this, because likely she hasn't been with many, and she cheated on the ones she was with." ...just to name a few...wow.... So given these wonderful examples, it seems that if a woman dared have relationships where she learned about herself, how she wants to behave in a relationship etc, then she MUST have been the town's bicycle...and worst of all, she BETTER not have learned from her mistakes, and change her behavior accordingly because then she is playing you... wow.... Quite the mature and valuable advice there! Also, OP....Im sorry dude but you sound like you need another girl....and more for her than for you. Go on and find chicks who are still in the "learning" phase...that will make mistakes with you, such as jumping in bed way too quickly....This chick seems to have passed that phase and be ready for a mature and solid guy....and from your posts, you ain't there yet bud. Also, I love how you say "and I do respect her" and yet say "I've got a time frame in my mind, and if nothing happens I plan to just start ignoring her and basically stop contacting and chasing her" Because nothing says respect as "if you dont do as I say, you are not worth my time" But hey! you know, I think she may be onto something..and may be the reason why she is doing this....its an easy and fast way to get rid of creepers and users....and immature guys....so there ya go..hope she sticks with it. Now I do agree with " I don't see why she would have even brought it up though if she just slept around. She could have made up anything. " she shouldn't have said anything about her making mistakes in her past...too trusting, too soon....... In any case....overall I see nothing but disrespect and entitlement from your side...(no, despite common belief, you are NOT entitle to a woman's body regardless of what she did in the past, or if she agreed to go out on dates with you) and really, immaturity not only from the OP but the rest of the dudes giving advice....then again you DID ask for 20 year olds to give you advice...so hey...go on with your childish games.
Nicomis Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 First off...wow...SOme of the things some of the guys are saying here....wow.... "It always fascinates me how women, as they decrease in value" Wow...are we like...cars??? that we decrease in value according to how many relationships we've had??? "The OP is supposed to have respect for some village bicycle broad" Uhh....and you gathered she was a "village bicycle broad" because she may have started relationships that got physical way too quickly? (never mind whether she may have meant one or two?) again...wow "She will be a prude with you, where she has been a slut for others. You are likely a quality dude, and she recognizes this, because likely she hasn't been with many, and she cheated on the ones she was with." ...just to name a few...wow.... So given these wonderful examples, it seems that if a woman dared have relationships where she learned about herself, how she wants to behave in a relationship etc, then she MUST have been the town's bicycle...and worst of all, she BETTER not have learned from her mistakes, and change her behavior accordingly because then she is playing you... wow.... Quite the mature and valuable advice there! Also, OP....Im sorry dude but you sound like you need another girl....and more for her than for you. Go on and find chicks who are still in the "learning" phase...that will make mistakes with you, such as jumping in bed way too quickly....This chick seems to have passed that phase and be ready for a mature and solid guy....and from your posts, you ain't there yet bud. Also, I love how you say "and I do respect her" and yet say "I've got a time frame in my mind, and if nothing happens I plan to just start ignoring her and basically stop contacting and chasing her" Because nothing says respect as "if you dont do as I say, you are not worth my time" But hey! you know, I think she may be onto something..and may be the reason why she is doing this....its an easy and fast way to get rid of creepers and users....and immature guys....so there ya go..hope she sticks with it. Now I do agree with " I don't see why she would have even brought it up though if she just slept around. She could have made up anything. " she shouldn't have said anything about her making mistakes in her past...too trusting, too soon....... In any case....overall I see nothing but disrespect and entitlement from your side...(no, despite common belief, you are NOT entitle to a woman's body regardless of what she did in the past, or if she agreed to go out on dates with you) and really, immaturity not only from the OP but the rest of the dudes giving advice....then again you DID ask for 20 year olds to give you advice...so hey...go on with your childish games. Yeah yeah, the poor slut is the victim. Her vaj is tired from over use, by jerks, so she is going to let this guy buy her dinner with no reward. She's not learning from mistakes, she's compensating for past mistakes, and he , if he wants a relationship with her, just has to deal with it. Nobody said anything about being entitled to her body, I simply told him to RUN AWAY! She is messed up in the head based on what he is saying I have been there, and a chick like that isn't worth the hassle. What if your S.O. went down on all his past GF's, and let's say there were many, yet due to some need to compensate his masculinity, he wouldn't go down on you? How would you feel? Not a nice feeling. It makes a person feel like "why am I not good enough", no matter how confident you are. SHE, not HE is messed up and he needs to move on. If she had not said it outright I would not offer this advice, but I have lived this situation. I'm 38 not 20.
Algermas Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Yeah yeah, the poor slut is the victim. Her vaj is tired from over use, by jerks, so she is going to let this guy buy her dinner with no reward. She's not learning from mistakes, she's compensating for past mistakes, and he , if he wants a relationship with her, just has to deal with it. Nobody said anything about being entitled to her body, I simply told him to RUN AWAY! She is messed up in the head based on what he is saying I have been there, and a chick like that isn't worth the hassle. What if your S.O. went down on all his past GF's, and let's say there were many, yet due to some need to compensate his masculinity, he wouldn't go down on you? How would you feel? Not a nice feeling. It makes a person feel like "why am I not good enough", no matter how confident you are. SHE, not HE is messed up and he needs to move on. If she had not said it outright I would not offer this advice, but I have lived this situation. I'm 38 not 20. This. Also yes, you are like cars. Nothing wrong with a previously owned Honda Civic with 100k miles on the odometer, it'll probably run for another 50 before breaking down but every man on Earth would rather drive a spanking new German luxury car. It just happens to be that not every man can get a brand new German luxury car and hence they settle for the Civic.
kaylan Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Sorry OP...but I think shes iffy about her attraction towards you. What girl uses an "Ive been with too many guys already" excuse right in the middle of the hot and heavy? If she was legit attracted to you, things would have happened in my opinion. Its one thing for her to want to take things slow, but I feel its odd of her to give the reasoning she did. Seriously...I dont know any girls that will say "Ive been around the block too many times already but I dont want to go around the corner with you just yet" She could have said something better. 1
4givrnt4gtr Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 This. Also yes, you are like cars. Nothing wrong with a previously owned Honda Civic with 100k miles on the odometer, it'll probably run for another 50 before breaking down but every man on Earth would rather drive a spanking new German luxury car. It just happens to be that not every man can get a brand new German luxury car and hence they settle for the Civic. LOL!!!!!! oK...Point taken...and by that I mean the type of men you two are.... ANd OP...if you align with this type of thinking (that women are objects, just like cars that, apparently, have odometers, which PS. WHERE IN THE WORLD IS THAT?! I have yet to find it in my own anatomy!) Then by all means take their advice...and while you are at it, ask them which type of girls you should be looking for...because a girl with some sense and the tiniest bit of self esteem will run as far as her little legs can carry her from men like this.
kaylan Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 PS - I also see nothing wrong with men or women establishing a "sex by # date deadline". It prevents peoples time for being wasted. Some folks just want to know where they stand and if physical compatibility exists.
Algermas Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 LOL!!!!!! oK...Point taken...and by that I mean the type of men you two are.... ANd OP...if you align with this type of thinking (that women are objects, just like cars that, apparently, have odometers, which PS. WHERE IN THE WORLD IS THAT?! I have yet to find it in my own anatomy!) Then by all means take their advice...and while you are at it, ask them which type of girls you should be looking for...because a girl with some sense and the tiniest bit of self esteem will run as far as her little legs can carry her from men like this. You'll find your odometer by looking in the mirror and comparing yourself to how you looked at 16-18. The OP should be looking for girls who aren't dried up prunes yet, girls for whom he can be the guy she'll talk about with her mature, reliable guy. Oh yes OP and I banged all day every day, in bed, on the countertop, in the shower, on the garage floor, in the backyard, hanging out of the window. Right before her wallet gets to have his lackluster monthly missionary.
Nicomis Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 LOL!!!!!! oK...Point taken...and by that I mean the type of men you two are.... ANd OP...if you align with this type of thinking (that women are objects, just like cars that, apparently, have odometers, which PS. WHERE IN THE WORLD IS THAT?! I have yet to find it in my own anatomy!) Then by all means take their advice...and while you are at it, ask them which type of girls you should be looking for...because a girl with some sense and the tiniest bit of self esteem will run as far as her little legs can carry her from men like this. You did not answer my question. What if your S.O. refused to go downstairs on you because he felt emasculated for having gone down on so many other women? How would this make you feel? This woman so much as said "I boinked so many dudes that now that I have you, I'm just gonna hold back on that." She is either a mental case, or is withholding sex for control. In either case It's HER, NOT HIM, that's the problem. I don't subscribe to the "used car theory", but I think when a woman your seeing has screwed everybody BUT YOU, it kinda makes you look like a chump, and she knows it.
Author henderson14 Posted July 8, 2012 Author Posted July 8, 2012 First off...wow...SOme of the things some of the guys are saying here....wow.... "It always fascinates me how women, as they decrease in value" Wow...are we like...cars??? that we decrease in value according to how many relationships we've had??? "The OP is supposed to have respect for some village bicycle broad" Uhh....and you gathered she was a "village bicycle broad" because she may have started relationships that got physical way too quickly? (never mind whether she may have meant one or two?) again...wow "She will be a prude with you, where she has been a slut for others. You are likely a quality dude, and she recognizes this, because likely she hasn't been with many, and she cheated on the ones she was with." ...just to name a few...wow.... So given these wonderful examples, it seems that if a woman dared have relationships where she learned about herself, how she wants to behave in a relationship etc, then she MUST have been the town's bicycle...and worst of all, she BETTER not have learned from her mistakes, and change her behavior accordingly because then she is playing you... wow.... Quite the mature and valuable advice there! Also, OP....Im sorry dude but you sound like you need another girl....and more for her than for you. Go on and find chicks who are still in the "learning" phase...that will make mistakes with you, such as jumping in bed way too quickly....This chick seems to have passed that phase and be ready for a mature and solid guy....and from your posts, you ain't there yet bud. Also, I love how you say "and I do respect her" and yet say "I've got a time frame in my mind, and if nothing happens I plan to just start ignoring her and basically stop contacting and chasing her" Because nothing says respect as "if you dont do as I say, you are not worth my time" But hey! you know, I think she may be onto something..and may be the reason why she is doing this....its an easy and fast way to get rid of creepers and users....and immature guys....so there ya go..hope she sticks with it. Now I do agree with " I don't see why she would have even brought it up though if she just slept around. She could have made up anything. " she shouldn't have said anything about her making mistakes in her past...too trusting, too soon....... In any case....overall I see nothing but disrespect and entitlement from your side...(no, despite common belief, you are NOT entitle to a woman's body regardless of what she did in the past, or if she agreed to go out on dates with you) and really, immaturity not only from the OP but the rest of the dudes giving advice....then again you DID ask for 20 year olds to give you advice...so hey...go on with your childish games. You've never been in a locker room or heard how guys talk about women when women aren't around. Even on the golf course guys think like me and are usually worse. And those are typically the guys who get the most women. Anonymous boards like this reveal how men truly think. If you only really knew.
4givrnt4gtr Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Ok see, the chick is saying "im not gonna do it...YET"...doesn't mean ever...it means she is taking her time to see whats up with him. If my current SO doesn't go down on me because he feels emasculated? Well, I would discuss it with him, get to the root of it, and if its that big a deal for him, and everything else in the R says he is an awesome guy? I would let it go....because again, Im not entitle to anything, especially of sexual nature. Just like if I decide that I dont like some other sexual activity, I expect him to respect that too....SEX IS NOT EVERYTHING IN A RELATIONSHIP. just me though. and OP...quite frankly even on this board I have heard much more respectful and appreciative views towards women than what you have posted here. I have also had many guy friends whom, though I may not always agree with their view of relationships, I have had a sense that they respect women and view them as equals, not as used cars. And yes, I agree immature users who lack respect for women can be found even in golf courses....and by all means, go ahead if that is who you want to be. But don't blame the poor girl for wanting more than that, and acting accordingly, so that men like you leave and make room for truly worthwhile, respectful men.
Author henderson14 Posted July 8, 2012 Author Posted July 8, 2012 Ok see, the chick is saying "im not gonna do it...YET"...doesn't mean ever...it means she is taking her time to see whats up with him. If my current SO doesn't go down on me because he feels emasculated? Well, I would discuss it with him, get to the root of it, and if its that big a deal for him, and everything else in the R says he is an awesome guy? I would let it go....because again, Im not entitle to anything, especially of sexual nature. Just like if I decide that I dont like some other sexual activity, I expect him to respect that too....SEX IS NOT EVERYTHING IN A RELATIONSHIP. just me though. and OP...quite frankly even on this board I have heard much more respectful and appreciative views towards women than what you have posted here. I have also had many guy friends whom, though I may not always agree with their view of relationships, I have had a sense that they respect women and view them as equals, not as used cars. And yes, I agree immature users who lack respect for women can be found even in golf courses....and by all means, go ahead if that is who you want to be. But don't blame the poor girl for wanting more than that, and acting accordingly, so that men like you leave and make room for truly worthwhile, respectful men. I might agree with your first paragraph, but not the second. The main reason I'm upset is because after 10 years she is all of the sudden making a different standard for me. It would be different if that is how she has always been. What she said was just an odd reason to give. I also re read my original post and there is nothing disrespectful in there. To the other poster, I think I am willing to wait 3 more dates max. That would be 7 total.
Algermas Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Exactly. You claim "I won't wait forever" and it's been 4 lousy dates. Jesus. That's not his point. His point is that she's arbitrarily using a different set of standards with him compared to all previous men.
ascendotum Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 You sound really clueless to me, to be frank. To expect a woman (girl is such a pejorative term) to "give it up by the 3rd date" is just sex-hound philosophy. And to accuse her of slowing things down because she may feel bad about her number of sexual partners, or that she possibly had a one night stand, is really shallow and immature. Treat women with respect. Women are not sex objects. Relationships take time. Try to apply these three rules of dating instead of your current "hit it and quit it" philosophy and you may be able to have a relationship with a woman that lasts beyond 3-4 dates. I don't think the guy is totally clueless here. I also think its a bit weird to tell the new guy.."you are a victim of the circumstances" & "she thinks she has been with too many guys". He's not putting words in her mouth, nor did I see him indicate he's only with her till they have sex. I totally agree you don't get upset when a girl does not follow your sex by date 3 timeline, but I would wonder what the outcome of this relationship was going to be too, if I got those lines when I started to make the moves on her. It would have been a little less ambiguous to simply say, she not ready yet, or she normally takes things a little slower when it comes to sex. If he really likes this girl, then he should keep dating her as there are positive indications there she could see him as more then a stop gap male friend between relationships.
Author henderson14 Posted July 8, 2012 Author Posted July 8, 2012 That's not his point. His point is that she's arbitrarily using a different set of standards with him compared to all previous men. Nice to see another poster has reading comprehension skills instead of picking and choosing what parts they want to read. And to the above poster. It was our 4th date, not 3rd.
FryFish Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 I have never waited four dates... If you have to talk her into it, she doesnt want to do it... If she doesnt want to do it, she is gonna make sure its not very fun for anybody. My take on the OP: She is either currently juggling you with someone else, maybe a number above hers, and you are backup or she is going to make you "mr nice guy"... who gets boring vanilla sex.
maybealone Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 PS - I also see nothing wrong with men or women establishing a "sex by # date deadline". It prevents peoples time for being wasted. Some folks just want to know where they stand and if physical compatibility exists. I absolutely agree. And if a guy's drop-dead deadline was four dates regardless of circumstances, I would be happy to let him go. I guess if I had to label myself, I'd be around the three-six date range, but nothing is set in stone. It would depend on how well we knew each other. Not all dates are equal -- a date that is a movie doesn't even begin to compare to a date that is a hike in allowing me to get to know someone. 1
FryFish Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 It would depend on how well we knew each other.This simply isnt true... The truth is, women, just like men, decide almost immediately if they want to **** a person.... If the answer is yes, then the more time you spend with the person is only more time to realize that the answer maybe should have been no. 1
Feelsgoodman Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Wow...are we like...cars??? that we decrease in value according to how many relationships we've had??? Of course. "The OP is supposed to have respect for some village bicycle broad" Uhh....and you gathered she was a "village bicycle broad" because she may have started relationships that got physical way too quickly? (never mind whether she may have meant one or two?) again...wow Read the OP. It's clear that she has slept with many men. So given these wonderful examples, it seems that if a woman dared have relationships where she learned about herself, how she wants to behave in a relationship etc, then she MUST have been the town's bicycle...and worst of all, she BETTER not have learned from her mistakes, and change her behavior accordingly because then she is playing you... Every action has consequences. If you act like slut, you will be perceived as one. Your rationalizations ("I wanted to learn about myself and how to behave in relationship, so I slept with 72 men...") are irrelevant.
maybealone Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 This simply isnt true... The truth is, women, just like men, decide almost immediately if they want to **** a person.... If the answer is yes, then the more time you spend with the person is only more time to realize that the answer maybe should have been no. You are right, so let me clarify. I know before I ever go out with a guy that I want to jump him, I just don't know when. The want is based on physical attraction, the when is based on other factors. Every person is different, but for me I need (a) to know that the person I wanted to jump that I accepted a date from isn't actually a total jerk, (b) to at least have a gut feeling that he wants more than just one night of sex from me, and © a little bit of trust, mainly so that the sex is more enjoyable (for both of us).
Algermas Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 You are right, so let me clarify. I know before I ever go out with a guy that I want to jump him, I just don't know when. The want is based on physical attraction, the when is based on other factors. Every person is different, but for me I need (a) to know that the person I wanted to jump that I accepted a date from isn't actually a total jerk, (b) to at least have a gut feeling that he wants more than just one night of sex from me, and © a little bit of trust, mainly so that the sex is more enjoyable (for both of us). No no hold it right there. Don't fool yourself into thinking men need trust, a connection or commitment to improve their sexual experience. I have no problem with a, b or c but you do it for you, not us.
maybealone Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 No no hold it right there. Don't fool yourself into thinking men need trust, a connection or commitment to improve their sexual experience. I have no problem with a, b or c but you do it for you, not us. Nope, it's for the guy too. If I have a little trust in the guy, I am not going to be inhibited which is going to make the sex way better for him. Just trust me on this one. And to clarify, I never said I need a connection or a commitment. I just said the guys needs to not be a jerk and not looking for a ONS. Big, big difference. And yes, those are for me and not him.
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