henderson14 Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 (edited) I recently had a 4th date with a girl and she turned down my advances for sex, explaining that I was a victim of the circumstances. Didn't know what that meant but she basically explained how she thinks she has been with too many guys because she has been dating since high school. I was asking if she was saving it until marriage and she said no. I was upset and feel like why start this outlook on your sex life when you start dating me? I'm not a jerk but I'm only willing to wait so long for sex or we just feel like friends to me. It felt like we were progressing into a relationship and I thought after sex I could "get that part out of the way" and start getting more serious. Now I'm looking at things differently. I can only see her one day a week because of distance and things are just moving very slowly. If someone is busy for the weekend it messes things up even more. On the positive, it seems like she likes me. Anyone have any insight or opinions? Only responses from people in their 20's or 30's please. Edited July 8, 2012 by henderson14
Algermas Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Hahahaha you pussy, if you had any sort of testicles you'd be done with her. Do you want to be the guy to now romance her well used 100k miles on the odometer vagina?
Eddie Edirol Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 If its only been 4 dates, she isnt going to feel comfortable enough with you to sleep with you yet. The more you push for it, the less she will want it. If you havent even fooled around, then she might not be attracted to you, in which case you should stop seeing her. 2
Author henderson14 Posted July 8, 2012 Author Posted July 8, 2012 If its only been 4 dates, she isnt going to feel comfortable enough with you to sleep with you yet. The more you push for it, the less she will want it. If you havent even fooled around, then she might not be attracted to you, in which case you should stop seeing her. We definitely fooled around. Twice actually. We had some foreplay, just no sex. There is a clear attraction both ways
writergal Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 We definitely fooled around. Twice actually. We had some foreplay, just no sex. There is a clear attraction both ways Whoa slow down there Mr. Hormones. It's only been 4 dates. You don't even know each other yet. Why are you being so sexually aggressive so quickly? How old are you?
Author henderson14 Posted July 8, 2012 Author Posted July 8, 2012 Whoa slow down there Mr. Hormones. It's only been 4 dates. You don't even know each other yet. Why are you being so sexually aggressive so quickly? How old are you? Upper 20's. Almost ever other girl i've been with has given it up by the 3rd date. I had one who waited more than 4 but i just stopped dating her and lost interest.
Eddie Edirol Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Upper 20's. Almost ever other girl i've been with has given it up by the 3rd date. I had one who waited more than 4 but i just stopped dating her and lost interest. Thats why shes not having sex with you, she doesnt know if you just want to hit it and quit it. If you keep making her think that you just want sex, shes not giving it up. So if thats all you want, you might have to find another one thats easier. 1
Author henderson14 Posted July 8, 2012 Author Posted July 8, 2012 Thats why shes not having sex with you, she doesnt know if you just want to hit it and quit it. If you keep making her think that you just want sex, shes not giving it up. So if thats all you want, you might have to find another one thats easier. I truly see the potential for a relationship with this girl. I think she is using our relationship as a way to make herself feel better for the number of guys she has been with in the past. Either that or she recently slept with a guy who didn't lead to anything serious.
writergal Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 I truly see the potential for a relationship with this girl. I think she is using our relationship as a way to make herself feel better for the number of guys she has been with in the past. Either that or she recently slept with a guy who didn't lead to anything serious. You sound really clueless to me, to be frank. To expect a woman (girl is such a pejorative term) to "give it up by the 3rd date" is just sex-hound philosophy. And to accuse her of slowing things down because she may feel bad about her number of sexual partners, or that she possibly had a one night stand, is really shallow and immature. Treat women with respect. Women are not sex objects. Relationships take time. Try to apply these three rules of dating instead of your current "hit it and quit it" philosophy and you may be able to have a relationship with a woman that lasts beyond 3-4 dates. 4
veggirl Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 So she will fool around but not do the deed...I don't understand the "everything, but..." thing at all, but okay. I would be quite turned off by what she said. Talking about how she has been with sooo many guys is really distasteful and unnecessary info! I can understand your frustration with her happily sleeping with so many and then calling you a "victim of circumstance" Did she tell you how long she feels like she needs to wait now? Until exclusivity, a few months, what? Writergal: You sound really clueless to me, to be frank. To expect a woman (girl is such a pejorative term) to "give it up by the 3rd date" is just sex-hound philosophy. And to accuse her of slowing things down because she may feel bad about her number of sexual partners, or that she possibly had a one night stand, is really shallow and immature. Writergal, OP is not accusing her of slowing down because of her past # of partners. SHE TOLD HIM THAT IS WHY SHE IS DOING IT. Lets not automatically jump on the "obviously you hate women and just think of them as cum dumpsters!!!!" thing, seriously, OP sounds like he has a genuine question. 2
Algermas Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 You sound really clueless to me, to be frank. To expect a woman (girl is such a pejorative term) to "give it up by the 3rd date" is just sex-hound philosophy. And to accuse her of slowing things down because she may feel bad about her number of sexual partners, or that she possibly had a one night stand, is really shallow and immature. Treat women with respect. Women are not sex objects. Relationships take time. Try to apply these three rules of dating instead of your current "hit it and quit it" philosophy and you may be able to have a relationship with a woman that lasts beyond 3-4 dates. Do this if you want to remain celibate until you turn 45. Also read the OP, she straight up told him she felt bad about whoring around since HS and now the OP gets to wait when all who came before him got it hot and fast. How appealing.
carhill Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 A person can change their dating, relationship, intimacy and sexual styles at any time. It's a choice. The OP also has choices. I hope he comes back and engages. 2
Author henderson14 Posted July 8, 2012 Author Posted July 8, 2012 Do this if you want to remain celibate until you turn 45. Also read the OP, she straight up told him she felt bad about whoring around since HS and now the OP gets to wait when all who came before him got it hot and fast. How appealing. Exactly, and I do respect her. To be fair, I don't think she was "whoring around." It sounded like she just had a lot of relationships. Unfortunately I didn't as for a lot of details because I was trying to make sense of what she was saying. I still have questions about the details of these relationships and how many of them she had and why she is all of the sudden worried. Our dates were all normal dates
sid33 Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Do this if you want to remain celibate until you turn 45. Also read the OP, she straight up told him she felt bad about whoring around since HS and now the OP gets to wait when all who came before him got it hot and fast. How appealing. What is it they say? The shorts are torn, the tits are sore, now she knows what its for.
carhill Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Our dates were all normal dates This tells me nothing. What did you do, what did you talk about, how did you interact and flirt? What kind of intimacy was there? Bla, bla. 1
without Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 You sound really clueless to me, to be frank. To expect a woman (girl is such a pejorative term) to "give it up by the 3rd date" is just sex-hound philosophy. And to accuse her of slowing things down because she may feel bad about her number of sexual partners, or that she possibly had a one night stand, is really shallow and immature. Treat women with respect. Women are not sex objects. Relationships take time. Try to apply these three rules of dating instead of your current "hit it and quit it" philosophy and you may be able to have a relationship with a woman that lasts beyond 3-4 dates. I agree, also seems like the first girl who is doing the right thing.
Nicomis Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 That's some bull. This is a game of control she is running on you bro. She's been down on everything but you and the Titanic. She's using sex as an emotional weapon. Sex is not a "big deal" to her, but she is trying to hide that fact to you, because she feels bad about being such a skank. Tell her to piss off (I would), or hang around, and she will eventually give it up, but she will always use it against you. FYI All the nasty stuff she did with other guys, she will never do with you, because you are her nice guy. Your not supposed to know what a whore she was. She will cheat on you with someone who "exites" her. I have seen this movie, and know how it plays out.
Author henderson14 Posted July 8, 2012 Author Posted July 8, 2012 That's some bull. This is a game of control she is running on you bro. She's been down on everything but you and the Titanic. She's using sex as an emotional weapon. Sex is not a "big deal" to her, but she is trying to hide that fact to you, because she feels bad about being such a skank. Tell her to piss off (I would), or hang around, and she will eventually give it up, but she will always use it against you. FYI All the nasty stuff she did with other guys, she will never do with you, because you are her nice guy. Your not supposed to know what a whore she was. She will cheat on you with someone who "exites" her. I have seen this movie, and know how it plays out. She appears to be into me. I've got a time frame in my mind, and if nothing happens I plan to just start ignoring her and basically stop contacting and chasing her. I don't need another friend to go out to dinner with.
SpiralOut Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 It sounds like she's not proud of the way she has acted in the past and she's worried about you finding out later on, and judging her for it. She told you about it to see if you'd be okay with it. Not every guy wants to date someone who slept around a lot; some guys might drop a woman like her. I think she's explaining to you where she is coming from in the hopes that you accept and respect that she's trying to change. She's warning you so you can decide now if you're willing to deal with this or not. She's probably worried that you'll get pissed at her if she doesn't give it up early enough. She's opening the exit door for you. She's being honest. It's up to you to decide if you think she's worth sticking around for.
Author henderson14 Posted July 8, 2012 Author Posted July 8, 2012 It sounds like she's not proud of the way she has acted in the past and she's worried about you finding out later on, and judging her for it. She told you about it to see if you'd be okay with it. Not every guy wants to date someone who slept around a lot; some guys might drop a woman like her. I think she's explaining to you where she is coming from in the hopes that you accept and respect that she's trying to change. She's warning you so you can decide now if you're willing to deal with this or not. She's probably worried that you'll get pissed at her if she doesn't give it up early enough. She's opening the exit door for you. She's being honest. It's up to you to decide if you think she's worth sticking around for. If people would bother to read my previous posts you would see that she "dated" a lot, not sleeped around. I assume she dated guys for a period of time and they ended up sleeping together. Either way, it seems like a stupid excuse.
Feelsgoodman Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Whoa slow down there Mr. Hormones. It's only been 4 dates. You don't even know each other yet. Why are you being so sexually aggressive so quickly? How old are you? Don't listen to this, OP. Your girl is playing you and and has no intention of having sex. The whole "victim of circumstances" excuse is so lame, I can't believe you fell for it. This chick has had sex with so many dudes, yet with you, she wants to wait?? Wow...don't you feel special
Nicomis Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 If people would bother to read my previous posts you would see that she "dated" a lot, not sleeped around. I assume she dated guys for a period of time and they ended up sleeping together. Either way, it seems like a stupid excuse. I read them bro, and "dated a lot" with sex issues means she slept around. Make no mistake, she does like you, and probably a lot, but she is broken, and you will suffer for her past. She will be a prude with you, where she has been a slut for others. You are likely a quality dude, and she recognizes this, because likely she hasn't been with many, and she cheated on the ones she was with. You WILL eventually get some, but she is effe'd up, and if I were you I would run. I'm telling you cause I have been there. You get the stigma of dating the used goods without any of the uninhibited sex that makes that tolerable. It will be missionary, candle light, soft music, and a lot of pussy eating for you. And good luck getting head. JS
Feelsgoodman Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 You sound really clueless to me, to be frank. To expect a woman (girl is such a pejorative term) to "give it up by the 3rd date" is just sex-hound philosophy. And to accuse her of slowing things down because she may feel bad about her number of sexual partners, or that she possibly had a one night stand, is really shallow and immature. Treat women with respect. Women are not sex objects. Relationships take time. Try to apply these three rules of dating instead of your current "hit it and quit it" philosophy and you may be able to have a relationship with a woman that lasts beyond 3-4 dates. LOL...so much male shaming. The OP is supposed to have respect for some village bicycle broad who has slept with dozens if not hundreds of guys and who usually gives it up at a drop of a dime to anyone but the OP? Yeah, that's very respectable Besides, it's not like he's asking her to have sex on the first date...sex by the 4th date is the norm nowadays. And what is that about 'girl' being a 'pejorative term'? WTF? The 1960's have called...they want their second wave feminism back
Algermas Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 I read them bro, and "dated a lot" with sex issues means she slept around. Make no mistake, she does like you, and probably a lot, but she is broken, and you will suffer for her past. She will be a prude with you, where she has been a slut for others. You are likely a quality dude, and she recognizes this, because likely she hasn't been with many, and she cheated on the ones she was with. You WILL eventually get some, but she is effe'd up, and if I were you I would run. I'm telling you cause I have been there. You get the stigma of dating the used goods without any of the uninhibited sex that makes that tolerable. It will be missionary, candle light, soft music, and a lot of pussy eating for you. And good luck getting head. JS This times a thousand.
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