renewer Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Hello, my name is Andrew and i am not one to post my problems for others to see. However, i really have no one to talk to. I was madly in love with my serious girlfriend for a year and a half. A few months back she dumped me hard and like instantly had a new guy. Made me feel great... But we talked it over and got back together. Well three weeks ago i basically told her i wanted a break. Simply so i could get some things in my life straighted out. Imagine my surprise when a few days later she starts talking like it's perminent. I tried to talk to her but she was resolved and kept saying "This is what you wanted." Finally i was able to wrestle out of her that apparently she couldn't take me anymore. That i made her feel worthless and even made the accusation that i only wanted her back for sex... I loved that girl with everything i had and some i didn't. She kept telling me what she could tell from my tone of voice... how i looked down on her and such... i never felt anything like that towards her... But surprise surprise within a week there is a new guy and she looks at him how she used to look at me and i think has been actually staying with him the past few days... She wants to be friends but i can't do it...i can't cope and i just want to forget her and move on...but i don't want to hurt her...not even now after all the pain can i bring myself to do that.
Author renewer Posted July 8, 2012 Author Posted July 8, 2012 I wanted to post more detail but i'm limited to a tablet right now...
Sameold Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Maybe she was finding it really difficult to split up with you and you asking for the break made it slightly easier. As for this other guy, you don't really know what/who he is. He is in all likelihood just "some guy" who has been able to pick up the peices when your relationship was suffering. The best thing you can do 100% is to have no contact with her, tell her how you honestly feel. Personally I my ex just ended it after 4 years. I found out that she was flirting with some guy at the end of things with me and a month later shes being seeing him a bit. What does this mean? It just means that a) she's shown me no respect, b) she lied to me. I know she never physically cheated on me but it's irrelevant. I keep telling myself how she has behaved and think of her as scum on my shoe. Do not contact her again, you do not want to be friends. Block her on facebook, delete her number. If she realises in time (6 months or so at least) what she has lost she will contact you, if she realises and doesn't contact you it again proves she isn't worth it. Take some control my friend, be the man. Tell her what you think and then go live life without her.
Author renewer Posted July 8, 2012 Author Posted July 8, 2012 Yeah you're right. It's just so hard to let go. It makes me feel like i was just some guy. Then once there was someone else to take my place ibecame expendable. So sorry to hear about your girl...why can't they just say when there is a problem?
Sameold Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Well my girl just bottled it all up and as we all know it can just take one thing to cause an explosion. For me it was yet another huge drive home from work that got her all worked up and upset. That caused her to say what she said and storm out. Obviously now I can see to an extend how messed up things were, she basically let work change her, her values and all sorts to become this cold, arrogant person I no longer recognise. Seriously though don't worry about this guy. When a girl leaves you she is going to have male friends, interests and if truth be told they will be asking them out more often and they will probably be going to get over you as much as anything else. If she starts sleeping with them and things that's a little different. Just remember that when people are all shiny and new problems never exist, when you are in a long relationship you can't compete with that. We will both be fine. Just be honest with how you feel, I showed passion and then hatred, but now is the time to not care and forget the biyatch. If one day they realises how much they have lost and have the balls to speak up then maybe just maybe things can be repaired but by then it might be too late anyway.
Author renewer Posted July 8, 2012 Author Posted July 8, 2012 Indeed. Honestly i have no desire for her back. After we broke up and i went through the stages i realised i probably dodged a bullet. She had this thing in particular that drove me nuts. We would talk out a problem like mature adults. We would come to a conclusion that we both seemed happy woth. Then she would go do whatever she pleased anyway. There is a major gap between our maturity levels. Mainly i just wonder if no contact is the best way to go.
Sameold Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 See for me I wish I could say that, but before her new job which was a big pay raise, working with lots of young professionals for first time etc we were so much a like, very grounded and planning a future. Now she sound like a 16 year old at 24 saying "how do I know what I want I'm only 24". It must be good realising that maybe she wasn't the girl for you. I almost feel like I'm mourning the death of mine (or the morphing to this nasty bitch). NC must be the way to go, why keep her in your life? She will just prove a nuisance and could potentially mess things up in your future. Imagine if you meet a new girl and she finds out your still in contact with your ex? What's the point?
Author renewer Posted July 8, 2012 Author Posted July 8, 2012 Good point good point. But she never really did anything just to hurt me though. Nothing that was just done out of spite. I guess i just kinda hoped we could have a friendship. I guess my brain links NC as like punishment for being a spiteful bitch. Probably the wrong.way to view it...
Sameold Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 I think NC just draws a line. Dependant on circumstances I guess maybe it can seem like a tool for punishment, I guess I use it to make a clear point that I'm disgusted etc with her, also why I blocked her on fb. There's seriously no point in staying friends though, it just isn't letting go.
livelife Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 When you guys broke up the first time, how long was it until you got back together?
Chi townD Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Good point good point. But she never really did anything just to hurt me though. Nothing that was just done out of spite. I guess i just kinda hoped we could have a friendship. I guess my brain links NC as like punishment for being a spiteful bitch. Probably the wrong.way to view it... Ummm...dude. The first time you broke up, she went running to the arms of another dude. The second time, she did the same thing. How does she know all of these guys sooooo well to start up a relationship so soon after your break up? I mean, she never once mourned the loss of your relationship. Absolutely no time to grieve. Don't tell me that doesn't hurt. Knowing she's being intimate with others so soon after your relationship? Did she have that disrespect for your relationship and you to give herself to someone else? I would be shocked if you told me that, THAT didn't hurt 1
Author renewer Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 Oh you misunderstand. It hurt like a bitch, still does. I just meant to say i don't think she did it specificly to hurt me.
Author renewer Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 But anyway it's all over. Deleted her number and my facebook. I don't remember her number or her email. NC starts now
Recommended Posts