Jgsangels13 Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 This is my first post and I would love some advice. All of my friends hate my BF or don't know him, so I'm alone and scared about what I should do.. I have known my BF for 3 years. The first 2 years of our "relationship" were terrible (to be nice). He was constantly playing games and continually breaking up and getting back together with me. It was so bad that I moved 100 miles away from him (not completely because of him but 75%). After I moved back, things became very different and he started actually acting like a boyfriend. He moved in about a year ago. At first things were good. He was giving me attention and communicating with me. Now, we just moved into a new apartment together. I thought the move was going to bring us closer together but it has just made things worse I feel trapped in an apartment that I don't really like and I'm miserable. I have to beg him to do anything with me. I have to beg him to give me attention. We don't have sex, we barely kiss. we sleep in separate rooms and we argue constantly. But here is the kicker.. The whole time he was acting like an idiot and doing stupid things the first 2 years I knew him I was praying and hoping that he would just act 'normal", that he would just spend time with me, that he would just pick me and finally love me. I love him so much it makes me physically sick to think about my life without him in it. So now here we are a year later, he loves me (I guess) and we have this whole life together, i finally got everything i asked for but I'm not happy... So What do I do? Do I give it more time? Do I leave? Is there such thing as a year rut?
Jamie1986 Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 You need to evaluate the positives and negatives here. He has just made a commitment to you, moving into a new apartment - positive! The lack of physical intimacy and separate rooms are very bad negatives. You say you love this guy a lot. You have built a life together. You need to sit down as soon as possible and say I need to talk not fight and get to the bottom of what's causing these negatives. There's likely to be more than one reason. You both seem to have invested a lot in this. He has made positive changes for you before, with some good communication maybe you can resolve it. If you can't though, then it would be time to consider letting go as begging for attention, constant arguments, separate rooms etc is doing neither of you any good.
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