whathurtsthemost Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 Hi, I need help here please! Had a long distance relationship with a girl, she moved to my country, and we fell in love - feelings were strong when we were chatting over facebook, but I backed off because I thought the relationship would never happen - then she moved here, because she loves this country, not because of me. We've been seeing each other for about 7 weeks - I think the problems are: 1) Her life here is not sorted out - she needs support - I provide that for her, as do her friends. It worries me because when she no longer requires that support, I sense her feelings for me will change 2) Today, she mentioned that she is worried that the relationship will not go the distance. Because of our conflicting working hours. I work office hours, she is working in a bar. We may get to spend 1 or 2 evenings a week, if we are lucky and it hurts and frustrates her, as it does me. She also said that she doesnt feel like she has the same connection we once had - I dont feel that way - she says she loves me but just doesnt feel the same connection. But told me not to worry, she wants to make this work.... but she's said what she's said. That worries me, but despite that, I told her not to worry about the future, lets take it as it comes - but Ive thought about it, and I dont want to be led on if she doesnt feel the same way. SO, options?? 1) Talk to her - I dont think that talking can help - it can give her more fuel on where I am and I could come across as needy / too emotional - It could backfire badly. 2) Break up 3) Become less available, get busy, make her less of a priority. 4) Carry on as I am. I do love her, I do want a future with her, but if she isnt clear or is confused at this early stage, what am I to do? Appreciate your advice, B
Algermas Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 Stop talking to her. You're nothing but a convenient friend to her.
USMCHokie Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 She probably found that special connection with someone else. You say she works at a bar? She probably loves the attention she receives there more than what you can provide her. LAUNCH.
Author whathurtsthemost Posted July 7, 2012 Author Posted July 7, 2012 That bad huh? And I'm so naive to think I had a chance... lol... sounds like time to move on.... damn!
yongyong Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 Had a long distance relationship with a girl, she moved to my country, and we fell in love - feelings were strong when we were chatting over facebook, but I backed off because I thought the relationship would never happen - then she moved here, because she loves this country, not because of me. I provide that for her, as do her friends. It worries me because when she no longer requires that support, I sense her feelings for me will change -------------------------------------------------- It's better if she moved for you. Anyways, a lot of foreign women will find an American guy instantly because of the support they provide (they will drive you around, let you stay in their house, maybe give some money too) The thing is there are other guys who wants to bang that pusxy by doing the same thing you do. and what if he offers something better? Are you giving her money? are you worried she might get that money from somebody else and leave you? do you think it's better to stay with her and keep spending money? She is banging someone on the side. Cut that money supply. Bang her on the side and look for someone else.
Author whathurtsthemost Posted July 7, 2012 Author Posted July 7, 2012 Yeah, I think you are right... I dont give her money, but mostly the good time is on me... which if it were a woman that was established with her own job, it makes it much easier to see what the motives are or not... I gotta move on, it´s too risky to see where this goes...
veggirl Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 You don't fall in love via chatting on FB. You don't even know who you are chatting with, it's a fantasy world and it is not real. That was not the real her you were chatting with and "falling in love" with. It was what you wanted her to be, you were dreamy fantasies for one another. Now it is real and it is not what she expected. 7 weeks in, I wouldn't bother with the whole big conversation. I'd just let it go.
Stellar Wench Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 (edited) FaceBook relationships, like all online relationships, are fueled by fantasy. Now that you are a reality, she's not interested. Lesson One: anyone can be who they want to be on the internet. Lesson Two: see lesson one. Stay away from internet relationships. Edited July 8, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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