Hello Loveshack -

[Muinro]

Hi everyone,

 

My name is Muinro. I've read the loveshack forums for many years, and this is actually my first post. I broke up with the woman I thought I was going to marry about a year ago, after roughly a year of the relationship going into slow decline. I was with her for four years, three of which were very good. While I am glad it's over I still find myself sad about the way it ended. Somehow, I expected that we would still be friends, even if our love affair didn't work out, that we would always be there for one another, even if we ended up with someone else. Needless to say, that's not how it worked out. The whole breakup was quite strange as well, and though I've really tried hard to be friends, and have avoided badmouthing her to other people (possibly not reciprocated ), and don't actually want to get back together with her as a couple under any circumstances, I do miss the person I knew an awful lot. It's actually not about the end of the love affair that really still bothers me, though that was a very sad thing. It's that the person I knew seemed to disappear, her personality and behaviour changed dramatically and she seemed to start hating me for no reason I could find. The reasons she gave for us breaking up change depending on who is asking. I suspect it's pretty common though, but it still seems strange that someone you thought you were that close to wants nothing to do with you and won't explain why. In truth, part of the reason I am posting is that I realise that I'll probably never get an honest answer for the real reasons. But, we do not always get what we want in life, nor should we. And I would like to talk about it a little, to let it go. I miss my friend, but now I wonder if the person I knew still exists, or ever did. It's strange.

 

 

I'm also, as a part-time thing, working on a book on sex, love, and relationships, based on my experiences and the things I've learned from people as I've gone through life. I would love the contributions of the loveshack members to this little hobby project of mine, particularly the breakup section

 

Best wishes

 

Muinro

[Philosoraptor]

It's normal to miss the person that you loved. But it's really hard to maintain a friendship after taking it further. Maybe one day in the future things will swing back around but for now I'd just back off and give it more time and space.