Onlyjonley Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 I posted a couple weeks about how I made birthday notes for my boyfriend and hid them around his house. He was thrilled and said he was going to save them, which made me super happy. Then yesterday he was cleaning his room and ended up throwing them away. He could tell I was disappointed and said he still loved them and was just decluttering. It really just seems like mementos (cards, notes, photos, etc.) aren't important to him. I, on the other hand, have saved his cards, notes, our ticket stubs, petals from flowers he has gotten me and so on. Guys on here..what are your thoughts on keeping mementos?
Balzac Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 Haven't met a guy yet who saves condom wrappers. Probably not what you had in mind? I know I don't save much, maybe a ticket stub from a World Series game but other than that, nope. 2
Author Onlyjonley Posted July 7, 2012 Author Posted July 7, 2012 Haven't met a guy yet who saves condom wrappers. Probably not what you had in mind? I know I don't save much, maybe a ticket stub from a World Series game but other than that, nope. If that ticket stub happens to be from last year's World Series ..kudos to you! Go Cards!
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 I'm not a sentimental person when it comes to things like that usually, I'll throw away those little things because the memory is still there...the deed and intent was completed so I don't feel an attachment to most material thing unless it was a big deal, present of some kind, special experience. I usually select only a few mementos to preserve. The really funny thing is I'm saying one thing and yet I did do another, I had a very sentimental ex who kept every single thing...so although i did not do the same she did teach me to value some of those things. For myself when I was young and my parents divorced, we had to move, I had lost most of the things that were from my childhood and personal affects, so I had learned not to attach to those kinds of things. I learned that life goes on...and by the time I was a late teenager, moving around with family member to family member I had nothing left over from my past as I usually only took my clothes with me where I went. When I had serious relationships I did keep some things, mainly unintentionally...meaning I kept them without thinking which was unusual behavior for me...but I guess subconsciously I was still attached. I kept letters, notes, pictures w frames, arts and crafty things we had done together...and it was really hard to throw those things out but eventually I did to try and move on from that. Reading and seeing those things was very difficult, and just knowing those things were there was hurtful but still had a hard time letting it go...even though I was the one who ended these relationships :S I wouldn't be too hard on him for that, i wouldn't take it as he forgot or didn't care...guys tend to do things carelessly and without thinking, lacking sensitivity to their partner but that also comes with relationship experience. He should have probably at least held on to those notes for a little while longer But now that he knows your reaction, he may do so in the future. I don't think you should expect him to keep all of those little things, maybe the big things but not the little everyday things...that would just be too much for me personally. Just remember for some people it's the memories, not those little mementos that they hold onto...for some people the memories are our mementos.
FitChick Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 Not all women are sentimental packrats. Jamie Lee Curtis was on some TV show saying how she never saves anything, even her kids' drawings or school papers when they were little, which upset her kids. I save photos but generally don't like clutter. I recall one boyfriend who was upset that I threw away the Valentine roses he'd given me. He expected me to dry them in the garage to keep forever. I do have love letters from someone famous that I plan to sell when he dies, which could be in a few years. I'll copy and save them online first. I'd rather have the money.
carhill Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 Unlike most men I know personally, I keep and occasionally display momentos. Today's example is a great one. Sitting across from me, perched on my deceased mother's rocker, is a chenille shawl with a stuffed siamese cat which my best friend's wife gave to me after my divorce when my exW took our cat. This is especially meaningful as I lost the real version of that momento, my buddy Blaze, whom she found for me later, earlier this week to death. To me, momentos are memory signposts, symbols of the path of life. I saved the few cards and notes my exW shared during our M and boxed them away with other momentos from our M. I didn't have the heart to throw them out. I think the adjective to describe this is 'sentimental'. Each of us is different in that regard.
veggirl Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 I think I'd cry if I saw my BF do that! Well today I would, I'm pmsing In general my BF is pretty sensitive. he'd keep things like that. Not sure if he has stuff from exes or anything, but would save something from me. He has postcards from me hanging on his fridge. I am not terribly sentimental. I would save things while we are in the R because I enjoy re-reading that stuff, it makes me feel good. I would throw it all out if we broke up though. FitGirl that is funny about the roses. Each time I've gotten flowers, my cat eats them. Guys get sooo angry that I let my cat munch on flowers they give me
Thierro Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 I never throw out a single thing. Really. I even collected the receipts when I went grocery shopping with my ex. I kept a diary about our day's together in full detail and made hundreds of pictures. I think memories are important and I am very passionate about that. Maybe even too passionate.. It annoyed her and even myself.
Author Onlyjonley Posted July 8, 2012 Author Posted July 8, 2012 So this isn't something I should be concerned about? I'm trying not to let the ridiculous "Well, if he really cared, he'd save stuff like that" thoughts creep into my head.
veggirl Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 No don't be concerned OP! I can sooo see many guys not saving stuff like that! I think my current bf is the only I've ever had who would. I don't think it's strange or means anything that he didn't
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