Kage111 Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 This girl I like just invited me out with her friends. All female friends. Maybe I'm over thinking this, but does that mean she thinks I'm one of the girls? Or that she thinks I'd be a great match for one of them and not her? Or that she just simply wants to spend time with me? Or was she just being nice because I told her I had no plans tonight? Also, I'm not the most outgoing guy. Actually, I'm painfully shy, so I'm not so sure how I'd act around a group of girls I don't know at all...
phineas Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 Well if you are that shy, my suggestion may not help you. But here it is anyway. You tell her you already have friends and you are not looking for another. This avoids the friend zone. This is what I would do also. However OP is Shy. I suggest he embraces the friendzone & learns to control his feelings & learn to talk to many different women. What he wants to do is achieve a point in life where he can tell a woman he doesn't want to be friends because he actually has options. What he wants is to be in the position where he can be friends with a woman & friendzone her. Let her see how he treats women that actually want to sleep with him & let her see he isn't like all the other chumps she friendzones that hold a torch for her. This is how I did it. 2
carhill Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 'I like to date my ladies one at a time and I'm afraid this lovely group will be just too much for me' A polite declining of her invitation. 1
runner Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 hmm. if you haven't known each other too long, i'm not sure i'd jump to conclusions that you're already in the dreaded 'freind zone'. she might have a history of psycho boyfriends and is just trying to feel you out a bit more; and then get her gal pals opinions at the same time. i wouldn't be overly worried about going out with them if i were you. just remember to bring your bollocks and keep it flirty.
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 I have a balanced view on this; I wouldn't decline, that would be kind of chickening out for me. Who's to say I've been in friendzoned and there's going to be other women there too, does that mean I'll automatically be friendzoned by them? However, being that you were invited with her and a gaggle of friends is likely because you are on the shy side and are essentially harmless..she's kind of doing you a favor inviting you out and I don't think that's out of romantic interest, If it was she'd want personal time with you. Let's say you were an appealing man but she had a BF or something already, then she might bring you out with friends to try and hook you up with someone she has in mind under the gaze of this spontaneous outing. You need as much practice as possible, you need to take advantage of every opportunity. You've got to learn to stop being afraid and realize that these women are just simply people...you can talk to them, get to know them just like anybody else. You've got to develop the courage and confidence in yourself to do this instead of getting scared. Push yourself to be in awkward situations, push yourself to be in a gaggle of women and try to find a way to contribute to the situation whether it's being funny, striking up conversation with another girl who seems to be uninterested as well on the topic. You've got to learn to develop these skills, If you avoid these opportunities you only end up in the same place you are now. You've got to learn to walk before you run. However don't go out and pay for everyone and everything and be their little chaperone and personal bank (saying this just in case). Don't try to win them over by being a nice guy, it's a mistake I see a lot of men do that gets them friendzoned by everyone, there's a difference between being generous and used. 1
somedude81 Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 Yes it's a friendzone thing. But consider it practice. Just force yourself to be social and joke with all of them. Also, be thankful that it's an all girl thing, vs it being her and nothing but guys. 1
Avarage Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 I just fail to see how this could be a terrible thing at all. Okay so sure you've been friended by her. But geez dude she just opened up a whole lot of other opportunities. Small loss for a chance at at bigger win. Not a bad outcome.
carhill Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 OP, how long have you 'liked' this lady? Any dates since you and your girlfriend broke up earlier this year? Myself, with lots of LTR and M experience, I don't waste time on women who aren't immediately interested. Dry hole. Especially if I've developed 'like', meaning an investment of attraction, over time. What's your story, OP?
without Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 This is what I would do also. However OP is Shy. I suggest he embraces the friendzone & learns to control his feelings & learn to talk to many different women. What he wants to do is achieve a point in life where he can tell a woman he doesn't want to be friends because he actually has options. What he wants is to be in the position where he can be friends with a woman & friendzone her. Let her see how he treats women that actually want to sleep with him & let her see he isn't like all the other chumps she friendzones that hold a torch for her. This is how I did it. Nice answer. That's what i should do too. The difference is I'm a girl. 1
Nicomis Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 Totally a friend zone thing. If one of her friends is attractive, flirt with the friend. Her reaction will indicate whether or not you ever had a chance. If you are not attracted to any of them, suck it up, and try and have a good time.
Curtis24 Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Women will friend zone men they are not physically attracted to. Nothing you can do to change it. 1
Snakechammah Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 (edited) Hmm, I'm female and recently had a similar story. So I asked this guy I had friendzoned to hang out with me and my close girl friends... he was polite at first but eventually said a firm "No." I said ok. On D-Day, we texted and he found out my friends bailed on me - and his move? HE asked me to go out with him and HIS FRIENDS that day. I said ok (cos I had friendzoned him and don't mind at all!)... so the whole thing was reversed. I spent time with his whole gang (a mix of girls and guys). It was awesome! So yes boys, you can turn the situation around. Initially, he was friendzoned but I'm starting to see my attraction to him... so he might have a chance. My advice, just man up and be less wimpy in order to avoid being friendzoned. I like the word though. FriendZoned!! Edited July 8, 2012 by Snakechammah
oaks Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 This girl I like just invited me out with her friends. All female friends. Maybe I'm over thinking this, but does that mean she thinks I'm one of the girls? Or she wants to get feedback from her girlfriends about you (and you can take that either way). At least she's not afraid to be seen with you!
Leopard Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 I don't think she sees you as a potential boyfriend, that's why she invited you out with lots of friends....to avoid seeing you alone and give you the wrong impression.
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