wasp Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 I'm here purely for advice. So here's my story. I was with my ex GF for a little over 2 years. We had a great relationship. There was a few things that she did that caused rough spots for the relationship. Nothing serious though. Just small stupid arguments.There was a point after a year where I kind of fell out of love with her. I never cheated on her. But during that time i was talking to girls and just going through the motions with my GF. Then I fell back in love with her after realizing what I have. I didn't break up with her during that time. I still loved her and everything, I just wasn't that attracted to her for whatever reason. I guess i felt like I was missing out on something by being with her. After I fell back in love with her I feared that during my little crisis I may have pushed her away. And low and behold we broke up 2 months after I fell back in love with her. When we broke up she was saying that she felt distanced from me and that she wants to be alone to work on her own problems. I was crushed but I understood. But even after we broke up we still had a romantic relationship. When we hung out she would still hold my hand and call me honey and babe and stuff. That lasted for a few months until I left for the Army. The night before I left we hung out and she was crying like crazy because I would be gone for so long. Once I left obviously there was next to no contact. I got discharged medically after a month and I was back home. I noticed she was acting way different from before I left. Two days after I got back I found out she is seeing her personal trainer. I was broken up but not too bad simply because we technically were broken up for months and theres no reason for me to be hurt by it. So a week after i got back she left for Europe for 2 months..where she is now...visiting her dad and her family which she does every summer. I figured that the guy she is seeing now is a rebound even though we have been broken up for a while. She told me she still had romantic feelings for me up until I left for the Army. And that while I was gone she accepted we were broken up and got with her current guy shortly after. So 4 days after she left for Europe I decided to just not contact her at all. To just see if she still has feelings for me. We never really spoke about our relationship and why we broke up or anything. But then after 2 weeks of NC she emailed me saying she keeps thinking back to our relationship and all the good times we had. I always used to say that I didn't deserve her while we were together. But then in this email she said "maybe it wasnt you who didnt deserve me, but vice versa". And she said that when she gets back she really would like to see me again (as in hang out). We talked about where she went wrong in the relationship and where i went wrong. We both owned up to our mistakes and talked about them. Her current relationship is hidden. No one knows that she is even with someone else. It isn't on FB, she doesn't talk about it or anything. Everyone we know doesn't know that we are speaking again. Our families and everyone think that we aren't talking and that we are done with eachother. We spoke for a long time about our relationship and where things went wrong and why we felt certain ways or did certain things. We both decided that while she is gone (she comes back mid August), we would talk at a minimum and just work on ourselves. She told me to find a girl for the summer and that when she gets back we will see where things are. Well during the past few days I've developed feelings for her again. I'd really like to get back together with her. The idea was brought up during one of our conversations and she said that the idea of getting back together is still tainted for her and that we still need some time apart. To which I agreed. And she also said we will see how things are when she gets home. I told her straight up that not seeing to eachother or talking much is good. And when she sees me again she will start to feel like she used to when we met. And she even agreed to that. One big issue with our relationship was that we would see each other EVERY day. And I think that was the main factor in us breaking up. And we both talked about that and agreed on it. We both said we started to take eachother for granted and didnt appreciate one another as much because of that. Before she left she was on bad terms with my parents. She was asking what my parents thought of her still. I was telling her that they are mad at her still because they saw how hurt I was. She said when she gets home she wants to make things better with my parents because she still loves them a lot. I told her to just sit them down and talk to them and explain everything. And she said she started to cry because she loves my parents a lot. And she said that she knows when she is going to talk to them she will cry. And she isn't the crying type. But back to things between me and her. We currently talk sporadically through email. Maybe once or twice a week. I've been working out like crazy and just getting on with my life. Talking to other girls and seeing other girls and stuff. My plan is to just work out a lot until she gets home. Clean myself up a bit. And when she gets back I'm just going to be charming and funny and all the things she was attracted to me for. I want her to see that I have moved on with things. She told me once that she was afraid that if we broke up that I'd mope around and stuff. But yea. I just want to know some opinions. Some advice. I feel things are moving pretty smoothly but I just don't want to drive her away from me. She told me her biggest fear is losing me from her life. I was her first real BF and we both definitely have a great connection with one another. There's never a dull moment when we hang out.
Author wasp Posted July 7, 2012 Author Posted July 7, 2012 Nothing? I apologize for it being so long I just want to give the most detail I can.
Jamie1986 Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 I know a lot of people here will scream NC. But I do think it's important that if you really have distanced her like you say, you show her that you still love her and chase her again before you go down that route. Women love to be chased and if she's been neglected I think you might owe it to her to chase her hard for a while before giving up. Some unrequited love wouldn't go a miss... after all by your own admission that's what she did for you.
WeAllMightBeNuts Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 You are a dying bird and she is the cat. Official "On To The Next One" Video! Jay-Z | Swizz Beatz - YouTube
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