PoppyLove89 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 My friend has been dating her new boyfriend for around six months now, which in itself isn't the issue but was does bother me is this: She started dating this new guy mere weeks after her breakup from her long-term boyfriend. I'm happy for her but I aint buying it... She's overly enthusiastic about him and is constantly claiming he is the 'love of her life' online...Twitter, Facebook...you name it! She started bragging about how 'amazing' he is almost immediately and was publicly affectionate about him on social networking sites. She never did this with her last boyfriend from what I recall as their relationship was more private - they knew they loved each other and people knew they were together. They'd just take the mickey out of each other on Facebook and had a laugh - none of this lovey-dovey stuff, they kept that for themselves. Is she over-compensating or is she really deeply in love with him? To me, it seems as though she's trying to convince everyone else around her that she's moved on and that this new man is the one for her. What do you guys think? Rebound or True Love?
wilsonx Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 To me, it seems as though she's trying to convince everyone else around her that she's moved on and that this new man is the one for her. Its more self talk, shes trying to convince herself. 1
Author PoppyLove89 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Posted July 6, 2012 Yeah that makes sense really, I don't know whether I should say anything though because it's rather cringe worthy and people are starting to comment on it? For all I know they could be together for years but a part of me is doubtful.
Mallow Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 It's possible that it's a rebound and that she's attempting to convince herself that things are better than before. Has she had enough time to get over her previous breakup? Whilst she was in her previous relationship it's possible that she lost feelings earlier on, thus being prepared to enter a new relationship sooner.
Author PoppyLove89 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Posted July 6, 2012 She literally got with this new guy a month after her break-up, I don't even recall when or how they met...he just sort of appeared. From what I saw, her last relationship fell apart in a matter of days (they'd been together two years) - it wasn't an on-going struggle, she even admitted they rarely fought and had been planning their future right up until the last few days. It all seemed very irrational to me. Who knows, I'm just worried for her. I don't want her to get hurt if she's still blind-sided...
Kovalchoke Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 How is her ex feeling? I'm in the same spot as him basically. For some reason its hard to let go for me after a year long relationship. This does look like a rebound but rebounds usually dont last 6months.
mike588 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Sounds familiar to me. I reconnected with an old friend from many years ago..She was just about 6 weeks out of a relationship with a guy she had been dating for about 1 1/2 years. I fell for her and she told me I was the best thing to ever come along in her life...she said she loved me..I was sooo great blah blah blah. We dated for almost a year then out of the blue she dumps me for him (her ex) I asked her numerous times during "our time" if she would ever go back to him and she reassured MANY times she wouldn't....that he was not right for her...he didn't make her feel special and appreciated like I did etc. etc. I was devestated for months. It's been 11 months now since that and I'm completely over her. Your friend better be very careful.
Author PoppyLove89 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Posted July 6, 2012 Well as far as I know her ex took the break up harder than she did but he seems to have been taking his time in healing as he hasn't had a relationship since. She went out partying a lot and just seemed to want to move on at break-neck speed. This new guy looks and acts nothing like her ex or the ex before that (she has a definite type) so I'm guessing she doesn't want to be reminded of him? I think I may have a word with her when I see her on Monday but I'm not sure it's my place to? I just want to support her.
Gulf-Delta Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Whether or not it's a rebound is reliant on the time in between relationships, and how much time, if any has been spent really processing the breakup. Your friend may THINK she's happy, but she's in no position to make that call, because most likely she hasn't even had time look inside her self and love herself. She's needy and needs someone to be there. It's great that you wanna talk to her about it, but if she's anything like my ex, she will avoid it at all costs. My best female friend has tried to talk to my ex about what happened and got no answers "You and Gulf were so good together, what happened?" "I don't know". "Gulf was the perfect man for you. Why are you dating someone else" "Id don't know"...your friend is commited to being in a relationship with this guy. Her mind is set on it. Nothing you can do. 2
Author PoppyLove89 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Posted July 6, 2012 Yeah I was thinking that might be the outcome. I personally just couldn't imagine finding someone I loved as much as she's making out she does, let alone being emotionally ready for it THAT quickly after a break-up (she's extremely lucky if this is the case). I believe it takes time to find that special someone you can have a long-term relationship with and they usually appear when you least expect it. They don't just appear because you're actively looking for them. I suppose I'll just wait it out and be there for her... though I have a feeling it will all end in tears - I'll pick up the pieces. That's what friends are for right? (Cheesy but true!)
Kovalchoke Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 (edited) The fact that she's partying hard, and doing all this wild stuff... makes it seem like shes trying to fill the void left by the previous relationship. Just an idea...you know the term: "Drink the pain away" If you're worried about her, maybe you should have a talk with her. Supposedly girls are masters at hiding their feelings. remember you can tell if it's "real love" by looking at her actions, not by words. Edited July 7, 2012 by Kovalchoke
Author PoppyLove89 Posted July 7, 2012 Author Posted July 7, 2012 It's almost like she's continuing her old relationship with this new guy...or trying to at least. I'm seeing her on Monday so I'm gonna try and casually bring it into conversation; see how she feels but I don't think she'll admit anything even if she was faking the whole thing. Has anyone else ever witnessed this type of behaviour?
Rey619 Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 Hello there! I wonder if she is doing all this posting about her new relationship on public websites to get to her ex boyfriend. I don't know the details on why they broke up, but it's obvious that they are/were friends on a public site, which both ex's can see all the activity. Maybe she is trying to catch up on the freedom she didn't have in those last two years. Partying, drinking, etc. I wonder if that is how it resulted in her meeting this new guy. Maybe it went further than we may know with this new guy and to me it sounds like a rebound. She may not be used to being lonely and hit off quick with this new guy. It could be several different things. Good luck to your friend. I hope it does actually work out for her happiness.
Kovalchoke Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 It's almost like she's continuing her old relationship with this new guy...or trying to at least. I'm seeing her on Monday so I'm gonna try and casually bring it into conversation; see how she feels but I don't think she'll admit anything even if she was faking the whole thing. Has anyone else ever witnessed this type of behaviour? Kind of. I tried to protect my ex from drugs and the bad people, but she ended up experiencing it anyway. Now shes with a guy who doesnt give a care in the world about what she does... The thing is, my ex has so many issues right now, her bank balance is almost 0$, she has makeup on 24/7 even when she sleeps i think, and she lacks a care in the world about anything, almost like shes living on a time limit. Is ur friend similar to this?
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