venusianx13 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 I met my boyfriend about 3 months ago, and since then, our relationship has moved very quickly, and we have become very serious. We had both had break-ups from our long term relationships about two months prior to meeting. It all happened very quickly, which wasn't my intention, but things took their own path. Well, as is common these days, soon after meeting/starting to date, he sought out my facebook profile and asked me to add him. However, before I added him, I scoped out his profile and the complete history between him and his ex (of 3 years), was all there. Photos and everything. I added him, reluctantly, but seeing all of those photos really bothered me. When he and I began our relationship, I was diligent about removing photos and other historical things in regards to my prior 5-year long relationship. I just felt it was the right thing to do; to start on a clean slate. I also shared this sentiment with him. I thought he might take it as a hint that he should remove the photos from his facebook that showed him and his ex. He didn't get the hint. Eventually, about a month in, I told him that I didn't look at his albums because of the numerous photos of his last relatonship contained there. He agreed he should remove them, and eventually did, but it took a while. I feel so petty for feeling this way, but I don't think he feels quite as strongly about this issue as I do. I honestly don't think he understands that I don't want to hear stories about things he did with his ex, or see photos of this other woman he was intimate with. I'm nearly ashamed, I'm almost 30...I feel so childish. Honestly, I don't feel "jealous" of her, per se, but I just want(ed) a clean slate with someone. That effort seemed thwarted. Now, he says he understands my view, but he still occassionally drops a story about something he did with his ex, and my blood just boils. I feel awful about it. I know he can't erase his past, nor should he be expected to act as if it never happened, but those memories are HIS, and I don't really need to share in that. He can take what lessons he learned and apply them to our relationship (that's what I do, anyway), but why does he feel I need to have this window into his past relationship? Ugh...well, if nothing else, I just needed to get that off my chest. Disclaimer here is that this is the best guy I've ever dated (and I've dated a lot of men.) He treats me so, so well and we do indeed love each other very much; our personalities just fit together so well. Unfortunately, I am not always the most confident, secure woman (although everyone tells me I should be). I feel this is just an aspect of my insecurity, seeing this past relationship of his as some sort of threat (even though I realize it's unrealistic for me to feel that way. he has no contact with his ex.) Anyway, thoughts and advice are appreciated. I'm really not feeling good about feeling this way.
Chunky Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 I know just how you feel. My girlfriend has friends who are guys and it makes me very jealous. I know she cares about me but I can't help the way I feel. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just let it be and see what happens.
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