TaintedHeart Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 (edited) I posted a thread on sunday, http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/333538-stupid-text He text me a few times the next day, they read this: 'We were perfect for eachother, we're so silly' ' I miss you' (I didn't text back to those two) 'Will you meet me tonight?' 'Let me know when your're ready for a relationship, thats not me being nasty, just being straight off the bat ' (This really got my back up) Me: 'It's been a month, you cant expect me to drop everything for you' And that was it, no reply. Anyway, I have this horrible horrbile strong angry urge to email him. I want to tell him that I know what his game was, how he only got in contact because things weren't going how he wanted them to with his new girl. I know I shouldn't but the anger is eating away at me! I want him to know that I'm not naive and that I'm not all giddy from his text, and that I'm not waiting around. I feel the complete opposite. It makes my blood boil when I think about it. He has zero respect for me and obviously zero respect for his new girl. Edited July 6, 2012 by TaintedHeart
january2011 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 A martial arts class or gym session with a punching bag are ideal. Otherwise, go for a run. Channelling the anger into some physical activity normally helps me to let it dissipate in a more productive way. Then if I need to contact the subject of my anger I can do it with a clear head with minimal repercussions. In your case, I suggest NC + block + physical activity. He made his bed. He can lie in it for all eternity. You don't have to be in the same room, let alone the same building. Remember, you are not plan B/the fallback girl/an ego boost.
Author TaintedHeart Posted July 7, 2012 Author Posted July 7, 2012 (edited) A martial arts class or gym session with a punching bag are ideal. Otherwise, go for a run. Channelling the anger into some physical activity normally helps me to let it dissipate in a more productive way. Then if I need to contact the subject of my anger I can do it with a clear head with minimal repercussions. In your case, I suggest NC + block + physical activity. He made his bed. He can lie in it for all eternity. You don't have to be in the same room, let alone the same building. Remember, you are not plan B/the fallback girl/an ego boost. I actually took my anger out on my pillow last night like a crazy lady! I was so angry and then guess what happend?! He text again! So the pillow got it! He basically said that I've broken his heart! I did text back (After the pillow punching) I told him how hes broken mine too and said no more. Then this morning I woke up to more texts! He'll say things like 'I miss you' 'You've broken my heart' Then he will start bringing up old ground, our past arguments ect. What is he doing? I don't want to argue with him but it's like that's exactly what he wants. Edited July 7, 2012 by TaintedHeart
StarlaStardust Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 I actually took my anger out on my pillow last night like a crazy lady! I was so angry and then guess what happend?! He text again! So the pillow got it! He basically said that I've broken his heart! I did text back (After the pillow punching) I told him how hes broken mine too and said no more. Then this morning I woke up to more texts! He'll say things like 'I miss you' 'You've broken my heart' Then he will start bringing up old ground, our past arguments ect. What is he doing? I don't want to argue with him but it's like that's exactly what he wants. It might be time for some old fashioned communication. "I don't want to argue with you. It feels bad. It would feel good to know what your intentions are in texting me like this, because I don't want to fight or assume incorrectly what you're thinking. What do you think?" If you want him back, or want to keep the door open for a later reconciliation, you have to talk to him. Plain and simple. If you want him to eff off forever, just tell him, "hey I would appreciate it if you'd leave me alone for a while. If I'm ready to be in touch again, I'll let you know." The important thing is that you absolutely DO NOT play games.
EmptyHeartGirl Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Why do you continue to respond? If you want to know what's going on...He has hit a rough patch with his GIRLFRIEND, maybe she's not speaking to him right now, so he's using you for entertainment, and also fishing to see if he can get some fun on the side with you until his GIRLFRIEND comes back around. Save yourself further heartache, and ignore any future communication.
Author TaintedHeart Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 Well he comfirmed that he hasn't got a girlfriend but is talking to other girls! He pretty much said that I need to make up my mind because it isn't fair on them!!! What about me?! I honestly thought he had more class than this, he is acting like a teenage boy! So, of course I was annoyed! I calmed myself down and told him that we need to talk, have a proper conversation on the phone! And guess what, he vanished, no text back! I'd understand if it was me who was texting him but its not! I'm powerless, I have no idea what he is doing. I'm so mad.
Exit Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 You're not powerless, you could just decide to stop playing this game right this instant and block him or change your number. I know it's hard when you're still attached to someone and you want to see what ends up happening, but his actions are already showing that he isn't really that serious about the things he said in those texts and you're already getting hurt and jerked around.
Author TaintedHeart Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 You're not powerless, you could just decide to stop playing this game right this instant and block him or change your number. I know it's hard when you're still attached to someone and you want to see what ends up happening, but his actions are already showing that he isn't really that serious about the things he said in those texts and you're already getting hurt and jerked around. If he is talking to other girls why wont he just leave me alone! If I was interested in someone else texting him would be the last thing on my mind! And yes it is so hard! I want to not care! I'm so pissed off with myself for letting him treat me like this.
january2011 Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I'm so pissed off with myself for letting him treat me like this. Do something about it. Block + NC. The attention you're getting from this guy is not worth it. He is toying with your emotions because you are letting him. You are allowing yourself to continue to participate in this game-playing. You have a choice to not engage. You are not compelled to respond to his texts. What joy can be had from maintaining contact with this guy? His talking to other girls means that you are not a priority to him. Why are you not returning the favour and removing yourself from his life?
Exit Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 If he is talking to other girls why wont he just leave me alone! If I was interested in someone else texting him would be the last thing on my mind! And yes it is so hard! I want to not care! I'm so pissed off with myself for letting him treat me like this. I feel your pain but you are never going to make sense of it. I went through this with my last ex, we were broken up one time previously for about 4 months and she kept talking to me and considering getting back together while talking to other guys, seeing other people, it was literally like being in hell for 4 months. I couldn't make sense of it much like you are struggling to now. If he really loved you and wanted to be together he wouldn't say things like "hurry up and let me know so I know whether or not to blow off these other chicks". He should be making you his one and only priority.
Author TaintedHeart Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 I feel your pain but you are never going to make sense of it. I went through this with my last ex, we were broken up one time previously for about 4 months and she kept talking to me and considering getting back together while talking to other guys, seeing other people, it was literally like being in hell for 4 months. I couldn't make sense of it much like you are struggling to now. If he really loved you and wanted to be together he wouldn't say things like "hurry up and let me know so I know whether or not to blow off these other chicks". He should be making you his one and only priority. I'm a mess now. He is messing with my head big time. I know I shouldn't bother with him. I'm so weak, so stupid! I really didn't think he would do anything like this. Thought he was different. I know I shouldn't respond, honestly I know How the hell do I still care for this dick! I know this isn't normal. I just don't know why he goes all quiet when I ask him to call. I'd prefer to tell him to leave me alone via a phone call.
Author TaintedHeart Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 Do something about it. Block + NC. The attention you're getting from this guy is not worth it. He is toying with your emotions because you are letting him. You are allowing yourself to continue to participate in this game-playing. You have a choice to not engage. You are not compelled to respond to his texts. What joy can be had from maintaining contact with this guy? His talking to other girls means that you are not a priority to him. Why are you not returning the favour and removing yourself from his life? I know. I used to get frustrated when I read stories like this on here! Now look, I'm one of those women that doesn't know wheather she is coming or going. I know it doesn't make any difference but when I do text back I'm not all giddy/loving/falling to my knees. I make it known how I'm feeling. I actually told him that I won't be his back up girl and how I feel messed around but he just texts back saying things like 'Ha, me mess you around, thats the best one!' (I did mess him around in the past) And as for the back up girl text, all I got was 'Bye' Then he texts a few hours later.
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