Break up doubts

[Wasabi_is_spicy]

My boyfriend just broke up with me three days ago. When he broke up with me he said he's starting to like me lesser and he thinks this r/s is getting too serious. However just five days before he broke up with me, we got into into a mini argument because he felt that this relationship was affecting my studies,relationship with friends etc. A major factor is that, my parents don't approve of our r/s so it's hard to go out sometimes. On that day he told me to give him some time to think whether we should still be together cause he says he kind of misses single life. However, he also said that if we break up it wouldn't be because he doesn't love me anymore, it's just that he thinks this r/s is not good for me. He admits he's a bad boyfriend because he doesn't give me the attention i need. He doesn't call or sms me but that's just who he is. Anyways when we broke up, he told me that it's ok to ignore him if i want and when he thinks I'm ready to be friends he'll start talking to me again. On a side note, we were supposed to attend a friend's concert the following week but since we broke up, i paid for my ticket and gave the ticket away to another friend. However, my friend returned me the money the following day saying that my ex paid for the tickets. So what I'm confused about is he's too thoughtful for someone who claims he doesn't really like me anymore. So is there a possibility that he broke up with me because he doesn't think that he's a good enough boyfriend for me? Or am I just thinking too much?

[Philosoraptor]

He sounds like he wants to see other people but doesn't want to burn any bridges just in case he can't find anything better. There are also a lot of him trying to avoid the guilt from ending the relationship and not look like a bad guy.

[Wasabi_is_spicy]

Ermm actually he said he won't date anyone else for a long time. Actually he said he broke his principle of not having a girlfriend because he knows he's personality is somewhat screwed up thanks to his upbringing. So yeah, I'm actually his first girlfriend though he's 23 years old already. So to me it could either be guilt or he's just running away because the seriousness of this r/s is scaring him because both of us never expected this r/s to get this serious.

[Philosoraptor]

Read some around here. "I won't date anyone for a long time" or "I need to be single for awhile" is just something said to avoid guilt. It doesn't really mean I want to be single, it means I don't want to be in a relationship with you.

[Thisisbs]

My ex said she wouldn't date anyone else for a long time either. A month later, she's head of heels for some other guy.

 

Yeah, he is probably just trying to avoid the guilt. Don't trust them for exactly what they say. He sounds like he's not ready for serious commitment, or he's just coming up with an excuse.

[rAFC]

Here is the simple fact: He ended your relationship. That means it is over and he isn't likely to come back. You may never know his real reasons for ending the relationship, people rarely tell you the truth while breaking up with you. At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter who, what, when, where or why (although I know all of these questions will circle in your head for a while). What matters is reaching a point of accepting that he is gone, that it was his choice and therefor you can't affect it, and that sooner or later you will be just fine without him. The sooner you accept that he is truly gone, the sooner you will begin to feel better.

Edited July 6, 2012 by rAFC