Author pink_sugar Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 I can block her phone number, but unfortunatelly our wireless carrier has told us we cannot block text messages. I had an issue a few years back with someone harassing my husband and I via text, we paid the $5 a month to block the phone calls, but there was no way to stop the messages.
turnera Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 They get along well except for this one issue. Yes, but she's too weak to stand up to her mom. Until she is, this will make her point to her mom for her.
turnera Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I can block her phone number, but unfortunatelly our wireless carrier has told us we cannot block text messages. I had an issue a few years back with someone harassing my husband and I via text, we paid the $5 a month to block the phone calls, but there was no way to stop the messages. Wait, you're married? And you're still letting your mom talk to you that way? PS, time to make the leap. "Mom, I love you but you're making me miserable. Until you're willing to accept my need to NOT HEAR YOU tear me down, I can't be around you any more. When you can accept that, let ABC know and I'll add you to my phone list again. Until then, I have to block your hateful messages."
MuscleCarFan Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Wait, you're married? And you're still letting your mom talk to you that way? PS, time to make the leap. "Mom, I love you but you're making me miserable. Until you're willing to accept my need to NOT HEAR YOU tear me down, I can't be around you any more. When you can accept that, let ABC know and I'll add you to my phone list again. Until then, I have to block your hateful messages." I'm her husband. I don't know about that big of a leap, but the comments about the clothes seriously does need to stop. Telling your children what they can and cannot wear goes out the window once they turn 18.
Radu Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 If you have an advanced cell phone [advanced smartphone], there are some programs that will block SMS. I think what it does is, it compares the sender with a list it has of undesirables and deletes it before showing it up. Look into it. smartphone block SMS - C 1
Author pink_sugar Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 Will definitely check this out! Yeah I really need to put my foot down, I love her but this is too much. My brother has already set strict limits with my parents and I need to do the same. She always tells me when she's coming down and basically always assume she can stay here whenever she wants without asking me what a good date is. Like at the end of the month some of my husband's relatives are visiting from the east coast after 2+ years of seeing them and my mom has an issue with us possibly not being able to attend my grandmother's birthday. They live close by...my husband and I hardly see his brother and his brother's wife. They cannot accept that we might miss one birthday? I'm going to lay down boundaries, even if it might affect our relationship. 1
turnera Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 My brother has already set strict limits with my parents and I need to do the same. Well, that tells you everything, doesn't it? Remember that women are tied to their mothers more than men are, so it will be harder for you to stand up to her. But it is a rite of passage. Otherwise your life AND your marriage are going to suffer. I've seen plenty of marriages crumble just because one partner can't stand up to their parent. I have an assignment for you. Get this book - really quick read, tiny book - and read it this week. It will teach you how to say no to someone you love without them getting hurt. Amazing little book, changed my life. The Dance of Anger
Author pink_sugar Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 Thanks, I will definitely check this out. And you're right, I can't say how many times it felt like my mother in law has put strain on our relationship. He stands up to her how, he just took it when we first met.
turnera Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Uh, I was talking about YOUR mother, not his. YOU are now the spouse who won't stand up to their parent.
Author pink_sugar Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 I've talked to my mom and another friend about this. My mom was asking if things are okay between us now. I told my mom as long as she understands that I'm an adult, I make my own clothing decisions and don't want to hear any comments from her anymore. We agreed she is not to bring it up again as long as I respect her while staying in her house and visiting her by wearing something that won't show off my cleavage or a skirt that shows underwear. I think that is reasonable. 3
turnera Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 That's even better than blocking her - a VERY mature way to handle this, and you showed her that you are maturing. Great job!
Emilia Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 I've talked to my mom and another friend about this. My mom was asking if things are okay between us now. I told my mom as long as she understands that I'm an adult, I make my own clothing decisions and don't want to hear any comments from her anymore. We agreed she is not to bring it up again as long as I respect her while staying in her house and visiting her by wearing something that won't show off my cleavage or a skirt that shows underwear. I think that is reasonable. Good girl, well done. Wish setting boundaries with my own mother was as easy as this. Unfortunately she starts ignoring them after a while
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