Girls not calling you back: "The Basic Etiquette"

[OrangeSnack]

Long story short. I know this girl for over 2 weeks now. We have really really good chemistry. Met through mutual friends and it just so happens that she will be in Europe during the time as me. We made plans to meet up and confirmed several things.

 

Because she lives 300+ miles away from me, I feel that long distance relationship can be difficult. Anyway, I just so happen to also be around her town next week and we made plans to meet up. We made plans to go to lunch and she said we can do whatever afterwards.

 

Moving on, we texted very often (probably everyday) and I eventually scheduled a time to call her. We conversed for about 20 minutes and she sounded really interested. We laughed and did some minor flirting. So afterwards, I told her I might call her to see whats up the next day. She responded "Sure!"

 

And I did but it went straight to voicemail (not surprised). I told her that I wanted to confirm next week. So my assumption was that she wasn't interested. The next day she texted me back and said she got really busy with moving and missed my call. I asked her politely whether or not we are still "on" for next week and also whether or not she got my voicemail. She responded via text by saying that she just got a new phone and she didn't know how to operate the voicemail but she did my missed call. But then later she said, "I just heard your voicemail." She said can I call you tomorrow?

 

So I would of course say yes and now a day has gone by, no phone calls.

 

What is the basic etiquette to my situation? I'm pretty confident that she's not interested because I figure if someone says she will call you, then she will. I know I might be over analyzing this and should just move on, but in my situation, if a person has shown so much interest in the beginning but flaked on her own promises, then obviously it's not worth my time.

 

I just want some confirmation before I move on. Is it even worth texting her back and reconfirm our date again?

[Balzac]

One confirm. This sounds like a fling at best. Have you ever seen this gurl? I hope so!!!

[Shaun-Dro]

Long story short. I know this girl for over 2 weeks now. We have really really good chemistry. Met through mutual friends and it just so happens that she will be in Europe during the time as me. We made plans to meet up and confirmed several things.

 

Because she lives 300+ miles away from me, I feel that long distance relationship can be difficult. Anyway, I just so happen to also be around her town next week and we made plans to meet up. We made plans to go to lunch and she said we can do whatever afterwards.

 

Moving on, we texted very often (probably everyday) and I eventually scheduled a time to call her. We conversed for about 20 minutes and she sounded really interested. We laughed and did some minor flirting. So afterwards, I told her I might call her to see whats up the next day. She responded "Sure!"

 

And I did but it went straight to voicemail (not surprised). I told her that I wanted to confirm next week. So my assumption was that she wasn't interested. The next day she texted me back and said she got really busy with moving and missed my call. I asked her politely whether or not we are still "on" for next week and also whether or not she got my voicemail. She responded via text by saying that she just got a new phone and she didn't know how to operate the voicemail but she did my missed call. But then later she said, "I just heard your voicemail." She said can I call you tomorrow?

 

So I would of course say yes and now a day has gone by, no phone calls.

 

What is the basic etiquette to my situation? I'm pretty confident that she's not interested because I figure if someone says she will call you, then she will. I know I might be over analyzing this and should just move on, but in my situation, if a person has shown so much interest in the beginning but flaked on her own promises, then obviously it's not worth my time.

 

I just want some confirmation before I move on. Is it even worth texting her back and reconfirm our date again?

 

Another flake added to the unlimited list of flakes. It be nice to see some women actually follow through with plans for a change so I can be wrong about them for once.

[ThingsAreComplicated]

I'm pretty confident that

 

I smell insecurity...a random person you barely know doesn't call you back...so?

[chimneychamp]

You've been crossed off of her "list" but some women have no ability to be straightforward about this.

 

Just try to forget her.

[Christine52]

As a woman, I always try to return calls when I say I will. If I don't, it's usually because I don't want to lead a guy on.

[carhill]

Kind of odd that a meeting vetted by mutual friends would work out like this, at least down to basic common courtesy. I could see it with an anonymous internet stranger, sure.

 

The basic etiquette for myself is that, when I call a person who is anything other than family or a good friend, leave a message and don't hear back from them, that interaction goes to zero without prejudice. The onus is upon them to initiate any future interaction and I'll likely scrutinize it closely. In the 25 years I've been using voice mail, I can count on one hand how many times it's failed and, since cell phones came into existence, my failure rate on those (receiving messages) has been zero. Zero, back to that again

[Nicomis]

As a woman, I always try to return calls when I say I will. If I don't, it's usually because I don't want to lead a guy on.

 

Most things I have seen you post make sense. This eh, not so much. Why if you don't want to lead a guy on, and your not interested, would you not just tell him as much. By not responding at all, you have turned what might be a normal decent guy into a self-doubting, creepy sounding guy. And most women that do this would be the first to label the guy "creepy stalker". Just be honest jeez!