robaday Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Had a bad argument with girl Im dating two weeks ago. Im really into her, but i felt shed crossed some boundaries. Shed wanted me to hang out and I wanted to but was really busy that night. Said I could go round later, had loads of things to take care of. Weve only hung out like five times. She persisted, and I was like "hey im going to be awhile, maybe later". She became a little too controlling, like what are you doing, who you out with? again i was like im busy right now, ill call when im free. then she turned a little aggressive. The next day I just called her and said, "lm really into you and wanted to see you last night, but if i say im busy you need to just chill, im not your boyfriend yet" it turned into a viscious argument and she put the phone down. Ive tried to see her since but shes cancelled or been late and shes turned really distant. She wanted to meet on Sat, and had arranged it, but didnt get in touch until 10pm, by which time id made other plans. Disappear?
Seneca Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Right now she's just creating drama... So ignore her. Don't try to contact her. Don't try setting up a date. And don't apologize for anything because you did the right thing! When she decides to contact you. You lay it down. Letting her know that she either understands that you've got things to do and respects your time. You don't need the drama. If she continues to waste your time, then move on...
AH1990 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Had a bad argument with girl Im dating two weeks ago. Im really into her, but i felt shed crossed some boundaries. Shed wanted me to hang out and I wanted to but was really busy that night. Said I could go round later, had loads of things to take care of. Weve only hung out like five times. She persisted, and I was like "hey im going to be awhile, maybe later". She became a little too controlling, like what are you doing, who you out with? again i was like im busy right now, ill call when im free. then she turned a little aggressive. The next day I just called her and said, "lm really into you and wanted to see you last night, but if i say im busy you need to just chill, im not your boyfriend yet" it turned into a viscious argument and she put the phone down. Ive tried to see her since but shes cancelled or been late and shes turned really distant. She wanted to meet on Sat, and had arranged it, but didnt get in touch until 10pm, by which time id made other plans. Disappear? Controlling already. She basically think she owns you, already! I'd tell her that this isn't working out between you and her. Say goodbye and wish her the best.
Author robaday Posted July 6, 2012 Author Posted July 6, 2012 Weve stayed friendly in chats - no point getting pissy about a cancelled date, but think i might just disappear for awhile, got some stuff going on at the moment i need to take care of. I was a little too available this week - felt bad wed argued this early and wanted to take her out for dinner to smoothe it over, but shes playing hard to get now, and Im too old for games. Scheduled to meet for Sund - its been one no-show, and one date she arranged but didnt get in touch until very late. Should I bother?
Seneca Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Weve stayed friendly in chats - no point getting pissy about a cancelled date, but think i might just disappear for awhile, got some stuff going on at the moment i need to take care of. I was a little too available this week - felt bad wed argued this early and wanted to take her out for dinner to smoothe it over, but shes playing hard to get now, and Im too old for games. Scheduled to meet for Sund - its been one no-show, and one date she arranged but didnt get in touch until very late. Should I bother? It's not about getting pissy. It's about having self-respect... Look, she is trying to get you to comply to her demands. The minute that you do. You will start becoming less and less attractive to her... As for the Sunday meetup. I wouldn't do it. One no-show and a very late call after she scheduled the date... tsk tsk.
Author robaday Posted July 6, 2012 Author Posted July 6, 2012 Think your right - plus if she doesnt show, then I think Id be a little gutted, Ill let her know I cant make sunday, something came up:)
Author robaday Posted July 6, 2012 Author Posted July 6, 2012 Will it seem passive aggressive cancelling after asking her out several times? I hate to say it but I am really into her - is it worth one last shot?
veggirl Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Will it seem passive aggressive cancelling after asking her out several times? I hate to say it but I am really into her - is it worth one last shot? No it doesn't seem passive aggressive. It seems direct and to the point. Personally I think you should cancel and let this one go. Way too soon for her to be controlling and dramatic. Just the tip of the ice burg. if she already feels she can act this way...then wow you are in for a bumpy ride if you keep on this track. Expect it to get worse if you pursue her. Remember when people show you or tell you who they are, believe them. This early on she should be putting her best foot forward. Not acting like a psycho. Obviously this (controlling and demanding and immature) is how she is, sounds like a headache, I wouldn't get involved.
Seneca Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 No it doesn't seem passive aggressive. It seems direct and to the point. Personally I think you should cancel and let this one go. Way too soon for her to be controlling and dramatic. Just the tip of the ice burg. if she already feels she can act this way...then wow you are in for a bumpy ride if you keep on this track. Expect it to get worse if you pursue her. Remember when people show you or tell you who they are, believe them. Veggirl is right. I would be moving on. And what's funny is that veggirl admits that women like to be controlling and dramatic! ...... Anyways, if you still can not let go. Here's what you do... Cancel the meet up for Sunday. The only place to meetup or hang out from this point should be at your place. That's it. If she shows up, then take it from there. If she doesn't show up, then move one... Don't text or call her that you are upset or anything. Just move on without any further contact.
Author robaday Posted July 6, 2012 Author Posted July 6, 2012 Well I did cancel, just said had to work on the day and to have great weekend. I do actually have to write an essay anyway. she was like "you dont want to see me", I said "na i gotta work, it sucks", "no you just dont want to see me", "hey not everythings about you, i gotta work", "well good luck with work, you need some work on yourself", "thanks for projecting your insecurities onto me babe", "your horrible", "whatever" Gonna lose that number, hadnt decided until last night, jeez
veggirl Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 Veggirl is right. I would be moving on. And what's funny is that veggirl admits that women like to be controlling and dramatic! Too soon? As opposed to later down the line? I don't think there is ever a time for that behavior. Ever. You did exactly the right thing man. I knew as soon as I hit submit "wait...someone will think..." and sure enough! hah. I agree being controlling and dramatic is not appropriate, ever, for the record OP, good job, her response to your cancellation text is nuts. You dodged a bullet, for sure.
orangedreams Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Veggirl is right. I would be moving on. And what's funny is that veggirl admits that women like to be controlling and dramatic! ...... Anyways, if you still can not let go. Here's what you do... Cancel the meet up for Sunday. The only place to meetup or hang out from this point should be at your place. That's it. If she shows up, then take it from there. If she doesn't show up, then move one... Don't text or call her that you are upset or anything. Just move on without any further contact. why would you want to try to turn a psycho into a bootycall? this is just stupid. once she realizes it she'll go even crazier on you bro.
Seneca Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 (edited) why would you want to try to turn a psycho into a bootycall? this is just stupid. once she realizes it she'll go even crazier on you bro. Wow... well it's his choice. I already made my suggestion as to what I would do... If he wants to keep her that's up to him. Now typically inviting her to his place would be just for one thing... But in this case. He's been stood up once and she called him late when she scheduled a date. So why risk being stood up and wasting his time meeting at some place outside of his home? Anyways, this way if she shows up. Great, take it from there. If not, then you can move on... Edited July 8, 2012 by Seneca
orangedreams Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Wow... well it's his choice. I already made my suggestion as to what I would do... If he wants to keep her that's up to him. Now typically inviting her to his place would be just for one thing... But in this case. He's been stood up once and she called him late when she scheduled a date. So why risk being stood up and wasting his time meeting at some place outside of his home? Anyways, this way if she shows up. Great, take it from there. If not, then you can move on... I see what you're saying. Sounds like a plan. Let us know OP what you're going to do.
Author robaday Posted July 8, 2012 Author Posted July 8, 2012 We spoke again - she was crying and saying that i was horrible blah blah blah. And she was over it. I was like cool, Ill drop your stuff round next week...that provoked a reaction..now she wants to see me Sex was amazing with her, clearly we aint good as a couple, wonder if i can turn this into a booty call type arrangement, dont know if i can keep emotions out of it though
orangedreams Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Sex was amazing with her, clearly we aint good as a couple, wonder if i can turn this into a booty call type arrangement, dont know if i can keep emotions out of it though I'd highly advise against it, if she's already acting like this when she knows you like her, imagine how she would react if she realized you started using her...
Recommended Posts