TLY22 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 So. I'm basically here to talk about a friend of mine (let's call him Joe), who I was extremely attracted to, and he knew it. But it was unrequited, so we just stayed friends, which was awesome. I knew nothing would ever progress romantically with this guy, so after a few months I let it go. Now I've met someone (he can be called G) who I'm very interested in, he returns the feelings and there is potential for a great relationship ahead. Joe knows, he's given his good wishing etc etc. But. He saw G and I on a date, and has realised that he does actually have feelings for me, and has admitted it. Same thing happened with my ex - he didn't care much for me until I had enough and left the relationship; now he's crying for me back because he's 'realised what he had and now it's gone'. I'm not the kind of girl to drop G just because Joe has realised he likes me a little more than he thought. What I want to know is, why do men wait? Or why does it take a woman moving on to realise how you feel? I would loved to have had a relationship with Joe, but I let it go. Why wait? Why does it take someone walking away for people to realise feelings? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 A couple of questions: How long have you and Joe been friends? How exactly was he made aware of your attraction to him and at what point after the beginning of your friendship did this occur? Link to post Share on other sites
YellowShark Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 Sounds like Joe got an ego-boost from your unrequited love. But when your focus turned away from Joe to "G" poor Joe got jealous. So he throws you some lines. Well Joe had ample opportunity to say all that to you earlier, before G came onto the scene... so I would stick with G, and forget about Joe. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
SunandMoon Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 Huh. I think that saying; "Don't know whatcha got til it's gone" is pretty apt here (one you paraphrased in some manner) or "Wanting what you can't have" as well. Jealousy may even deal its hand in some situations, too. Some people are shy and not aggressive with a person of intrest. Or are just scared to admit those feelings as it may cause damage to a friendship (considering they want to keep it that way.) That's all I can think of atm. Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 no clue. he might have been interested in someone else earlier, and when that fizzled, began taking you more seriously. unfortunately for him, that ship had sailed. ah the importance of timing 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 People want what they can't have. Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 Sounds like Joe got an ego-boost from your unrequited love. But when your focus turned away from Joe to "G" poor Joe got jealous. So he throws you some lines. Well Joe had ample opportunity to say all that to you earlier, before G came onto the scene... so I would stick with G, and forget about Joe. Good luck. I've had this happen a number of times before. It's usually a case of the guy wanting what he can't have, not of not realizing what he had until it was gone. Ya gotta stick with the guy who saw you and said to himself "Hot damn. I caught a live one." Cos "poor Joe" would lose interest in you soon anyway if you dumped new guy for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TLY22 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Share Posted July 6, 2012 A couple of questions: How long have you and Joe been friends? How exactly was he made aware of your attraction to him and at what point after the beginning of your friendship did this occur? We've been friends for about nine months, I developed feelings early but I only let him know about four months ago. He asked and I told him. I guess he got the feelings that I was attracted. Sounds like Joe got an ego-boost from your unrequited love. But when your focus turned away from Joe to "G" poor Joe got jealous. So he throws you some lines. Well Joe had ample opportunity to say all that to you earlier, before G came onto the scene... so I would stick with G, and forget about Joe. Good luck. I'm sticking with G. Joe had his chance. I just don't understand why it took seeing me with G to realise that's how he feels.. Oh well. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowShark Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 I'm sticking with G. Joe had his chance. I just don't understand why it took seeing me with G to realise that's how he feels.. Oh well. Good choice. Stick with G. Could be a lot of fun. And if it doesn't work out then Joe can step up to the plate. Hell, you've only known Joe for 9 months anyways. Friend-zone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 I've seen so many guys do this. I have seen loads more go through a divorce because of this. They leave, figure it out 6 months later and by then it is too late. Or they go nc on their wife who wants to leave because he doesn't give her enough attention "I'll show her, she'll see what she's missing." Well she already knows. She's been missing it for months / years. Now she's finding it with mr rebound, and buddy acts like she's just a bitch that left when he gave her "everything." Male-female relationships are frustrating. I knew about the six month or so turnaround, that's why I waited it out for my h while still getting my own life together. Link to post Share on other sites
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