aaron555 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 (edited) Hi, We were together for about 3 years, we are both only 22 now. We were best friends for a couple of years before this too. It was a strange set-up in some ways, there were some issues with our families so we never actually were 'officially' bf/gf, but it was pretty much accepted with everyone. We just avoided that tag at the start and it never really changed. However we were a couple and vacationed etc. together. So her mom and dad both sadly passed away in the space of 6 months. My ex started taking anti depressants and completely changed with her personality. I accepted that since its very understandable that she would be having difficulty. She became quite cold towards me occasionally, but also she was her usual self from time to time, which kept me going. This goes on for a few weeks, then she starts an argument with me about something very petty. It goes up and we stop talking for a few days. I go to her house and she tells me she wants to break it off with me and start seeing this new guy, who apparently has been great with helping her cope with everything that happened. I know for a fact she has only known this guy for a couple of weeks at most, and she has never done anything like this before. She tells me she still wants me around to help her through this. I went a bit ape s*** and was quite mean. Felt a bit guilty leaving her with all these problems, but I decided it was best for me to get out. I told her I wanted no contact with her. I apologized for the mean things i said because i really didnt mean them, and i said goodbye. I hear a ton of things she has made up about me and spread around, but I try not to react. So... 18 months down the line of no contact, (4months after the split, I rejected her trying to talk to me) heard nothing more. I have found myself a great new job, and as far as i know she is in college. I received a Birthday card from her. Had my full address on the envelope but it didnt go through the postal service so must have been delivered by her. It's a big card with 'love ___ xxxx' at the end. So i think about it and reluctantly say thanks, 2 days later, through Facebook. She replies within 10 mins saying she wanted me to know she hasn't forgotten about me... I didnt reply. I have got to a stage where I have kind of accepted her being gone, i couldnt eat properly for the 1st couple of months and really struggled. Went out with 3 girls since and just couldnt bring myself to like them so broke it off. I'll admit i still think about her every day and Im still crazy about her, but i tell people I'm over it. I know she is single too. Why the hell would she mess with me once i am almost comfortable, after the way she treated me. Yeah i want her back, but in some respects i am heading in the right direction without her. Sorry for the novel, it's just been playing on my mind since it happened last week!! Thanks Edited July 5, 2012 by aaron555
Chi townD Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 So her mom and dad both sadly passed away in the space of 6 months. My ex started taking anti depressants and completely changed with her personality. I accepted that since its very understandable that she would be having difficulty. She became quite cold towards me occasionally, but also she was her usual self from time to time, which kept me going. This goes on for a few weeks, then she starts an argument with me about something very petty. It goes up and we stop talking for a few days. In some instances, something this truamatic happens so close together could have caused her to throw up a wall between the two of you. Lets face it. Her parents were the only two people in the world that she loved deeply and then....they were gone. The only other person on this planet that knew her and loved her just as deeply was you. SO! The people in her life that loved her are gone and that pain is huge. The only thing she could control was how things would end up with you. So, she put up a wall, because subsconiously, she didn't want you hurting her either and pushed you away. And rather than you ending it with her, and her going through the pain again. She ended with you; the only thing she could control in her life. And hooked up with someone she didn't have a close connection to because it was safe. Wow, did any of that make any sense to you?
Author aaron555 Posted July 5, 2012 Author Posted July 5, 2012 (edited) Yes thats a good point. Thank you. I always accepted what happened was awful. And tbh I have no idea what it feels like, and I did my best with her. I guess I just dont know whether I should start talking to her again, its difficult to tell what she is thinking and whether it would be the same. Edited July 5, 2012 by aaron555
Recommended Posts