broken up with the hope of getting back together in 8 months

[cheerflexie]

Hello I am recently broken up with my bf and still confused at the moment.

 

The background is, he's in the navy and have recently been away a lot. He was away for 5 months and came home for a little under two months and he has to go away on a deployment for 8 months. In that two months he was home we were fighting a lot because we were under stress and decided the most logical thing to do is to break up because we didn't know anymore where we stand since we were on the very edge and 8 months long distance require a strong base.

 

Since I was living with him for the last 2 weeks of his time here, things went from bitter to awkward to lovey dovey again. It was confusing. It was clear that we both still loved each other very much and still had a great chemistry and connection but the logical thing to do is to break up because he didn't want me to wait around for 8 months and have us break up when he comes back.

 

The last two days prior to him leaving he treated me very much like his girlfriend. He emailed me yesterday but it was a fairly formal email with no pet names or any type of affection. It hurt my feelings a little bit.

 

What he told me after we broke up was that he's willing to see me again when he comes back in 8 months and see where we are, how we feel and if some things have changed. But he won't make any promises he can't keep. I know that a lot of things that needs to change comes from my side. I have some improvements I need to make and I know I can make it. He wants me to live my life and move on. But knowing that there's that chance of reconciliation down the road it's making me not want to let go of him completely because generally we are very good together.

 

He is still planning on emailing me regularly, but the next time I will ever see him again is that time for reconciliation. Right now I'm unsure if I should erase him out completely from my life or if I should just play it cool and still have that hope and try to get through that 8 months.

[flitzanu]

that's a cheap way out of relationship, and he told you not to wait.

 

so you don't.

 

you move on with your life.

[headsashed]

that's a cheap way out of relationship, and he told you not to wait.

 

so you don't.

 

you move on with your life.

 

 

correct,just move on with your life,in 8 months you may feel different towards him and not want a reconciliation.

[KatZee]

Hello I am recently broken up with my bf and still confused at the moment.

 

Since I was living with him for the last 2 weeks of his time here, things went from bitter to awkward to lovey dovey again. It was confusing. It was clear that we both still loved each other very much and still had a great chemistry and connection but the logical thing to do is to break up...

 

No, when you love someone, the most logical thing to do is sit down and have a conversation. Communication is ES-SEN-TIAL in any relationship. Instead of working out problems, he or you both just ran. Breaking up solves nothing. It's pretty must just leaving your problems right where you left them, and getting back together would just be a continuation of those problems.

 

What he told me after we broke up was that he's willing to see me again when he comes back in 8 months and see where we are, how we feel and if some things have changed.

 

But he won't make any promises he can't keep.

 

He wants me to live my life and move on.

 

He's pulling a classic "guy" move here. He's breaking up with you as gently as possible. Keeping that little string of hope alive... what you really need to be focusing on is the part where he said he won't make any promises to you, and he wants you to live your own life and move on.

 

I really need to drill in the fact here, that if a guy is in love with you, he will NEVER... NEVER... NEVER!!! want you to move on, date, or be with other men. Guys as a whole are territorial, and the thought of you with someone else would kill him. It doesn't.

 

Basically what happens is this, he's hoping that you leave this relationship with only fond memories of him, that he's "such a good person" and that eventually you meet someone else and wind up with that someone else. I see zero intention of him ever being with you again.

 

But knowing that there's that chance of reconciliation down the road it's making me not want to let go of him completely...

 

There is a VERY remote chance of reconciliation. It's almost nill. Do NOT wait around for 8 months, that will be one of the WORST things to do, and I promise you, you will be kicking yourself once the 8 months is up and there is no follow through.

 

Right now I'm unsure if I should erase him out completely from my life or if I should just play it cool and still have that hope and try to get through that 8 months.

 

The only reason you should be "getting through 8 months" is if he was committed to you, and you guys were together going through a LDR. You're single. It doesn't matter if you get through 8 months, or the next 18. You're single. Let him do his Navy thing, and you live your life, and please take his advice.

 

MOVE ON.