macardent Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 (edited) So I finally am back in my senses. I begged her, pleaded, went as far as made a website for her. She never came back. And I know that she does't even give a rats hairy ass about me. I was NC for a long time now. The last text I sent to her like 3 hrs ago was: Forgive me if i have wronged anyone in anyway, whether intentionally or unintentionally. It is better for me to apologize than it is for me to carry my wrongs heavily upon my heart. Lol I am not good at asking for forgiveness but thats the best I could come up with please cooperate and do forgive me people. .. I sent it to bunch of people including two of my other exes. But mainly I wanted to send it to her. I also checked her Facebook picture, she lost a lot of weight looking way better than before. Got a new haircut and all. Looks like she is having the time of her life. I came close to God, I became very humble, I do not have much ego anymore. Workout 3 times a week. Bought a new Mustang Convertible and posted pictures on fb mainly to get her to see what she is missing (Childlike but I become like that sometimes) My question is how do I respect my self again, I looked like an idiot in front of everybody. People here helped me a lot. I literally want everyone to see that I am not some looser. I still don't have proper degree or a job maybe thats why she left. God knows best. I can't date another girl at the moment, I literally turned down this girl a few weeks ago and she was actually hot and better than my ex but I still couldn't say yes. I am thinking about moving to a different province and start my life again. Take like 2 years off from this place. I cry everyday for ruining my reputation for begging a girl who lets every guy treat her like a piece of meat in a club. I totally want to forget about her, about everything. And do something that will make her at least regret leaving a lover like me (Part of me still wants to show her that she is the one in loss not me). Or at least people should see that she is in loss and not me. I am 23 years old btw. So any ideas where to start? what to do? Maybe some of you remember me here. Edited July 5, 2012 by macardent Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 Forgive yourself for making a fool of yourself. You, me, and most people here have done the same thing. You realize you were running off of hurt and fear and there's nothing you can do about the past. Just work on making better choices in the future. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Appleness Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 I'm so sorry Macardent, it sounds like you carry a lot of guilt. Who did the breaking up, may I ask? Link to post Share on other sites
Author macardent Posted July 5, 2012 Author Share Posted July 5, 2012 Forgive yourself for making a fool of yourself. You, me, and most people here have done the same thing. You realize you were running off of hurt and fear and there's nothing you can do about the past. Just work on making better choices in the future. Yes. I think I need to forgive myself before anyone else could forgive me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author macardent Posted July 5, 2012 Author Share Posted July 5, 2012 I'm so sorry Macardent, it sounds like you carry a lot of guilt. Who did the breaking up, may I ask? I did, but I begged her to come back. She did only to leave me 2-3 days later. And then she called me back after 2 days and she was kind of insulting me. I didn't see it then I see it now. But I felt something inside and called her names. I apologized later but she ended up putting me in more guilt. Btw, she did leave me for someone else. Either her ex or another guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 okay, well...you put the apology out there and it's out of your hands now. If moving would help you....then move! Good way to start things fresh. She's with someone else and that probably won't change anytime soon. So, why not get a new start on life! And, by the way, you were and idiot for not accepting the date offer from the other girl. No one said you had to start a relationship with her. But, you could have look at it as a nice night out with a pretty girl and had a good time with nothing else involved. But, if you aren't ready, then you aren't ready. Just the way you put it sounded like you were afraid that it was going to be something more than what it truely was. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Limbo21 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 That first post choked me up macardent. I feel for you. Not sure about the god bit but if that helps you then bring it on as for the question you posed, I'm still searching for the answer myself Time isn't helping very fast. I guess you need to get that job, social life, friends and then it'll just slowly happen. Too slow for you to realise but it'll come all the same 1 Link to post Share on other sites
villageman Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 I kind of made a fool of myself with my most recent ex as well... actually 2 of the last 3 serious relationships I had ended up in me making a fool of myself after the breakup. It's a pretty natural thing for a lot of guys to do I think. Something to think about, if she broke up with you and she's moved on, honestly, she probably doesn't even care any more about what you did or how you acted. And, although it sucks, she probably doesn't have any strong feelings about you at all, she's moved on. So if she doesn't care, why should you? It's in the past. If you really want to start feeling better about yourself, you have to accept the fact that this is in the past, and that all you can do is do better in the future, almost certainly with someone other than her. The sooner you can stop caring about what she thinks, and move on with living a better life from here on out, the sooner you'll start feeling better. I say all of this, but I'm in the middle of this process myself. I also miss the hell out of my ex at the moment, even though she's moved on and couldn't care less about me at the moment, so I know that this is not easy to do. But I'm working on it, and it is getting better, slowly. It takes time and work, good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author macardent Posted July 6, 2012 Author Share Posted July 6, 2012 okay, well...you put the apology out there and it's out of your hands now. If moving would help you....then move! Good way to start things fresh. She's with someone else and that probably won't change anytime soon. So, why not get a new start on life! And, by the way, you were and idiot for not accepting the date offer from the other girl. No one said you had to start a relationship with her. But, you could have look at it as a nice night out with a pretty girl and had a good time with nothing else involved. But, if you aren't ready, then you aren't ready. Just the way you put it sounded like you were afraid that it was going to be something more than what it truely was. Yes! Maybe I started thinking about it as a relationship or something. Just hope the pain goes away.. I want to get over it! Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 /facepalm LOL do I even need to comment ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author macardent Posted July 6, 2012 Author Share Posted July 6, 2012 I kind of made a fool of myself with my most recent ex as well... actually 2 of the last 3 serious relationships I had ended up in me making a fool of myself after the breakup. It's a pretty natural thing for a lot of guys to do I think. Something to think about, if she broke up with you and she's moved on, honestly, she probably doesn't even care any more about what you did or how you acted. And, although it sucks, she probably doesn't have any strong feelings about you at all, she's moved on. So if she doesn't care, why should you? It's in the past. If you really want to start feeling better about yourself, you have to accept the fact that this is in the past, and that all you can do is do better in the future, almost certainly with someone other than her. The sooner you can stop caring about what she thinks, and move on with living a better life from here on out, the sooner you'll start feeling better. I say all of this, but I'm in the middle of this process myself. I also miss the hell out of my ex at the moment, even though she's moved on and couldn't care less about me at the moment, so I know that this is not easy to do. But I'm working on it, and it is getting better, slowly. It takes time and work, good luck. This is the second time something like this happened to me though the first time wasn't as bad. I somewhat see that I was just a rebound guy in both of the relationships. I have the same last name as her ex, same background, and I remembered she once cried about him after sex. Talked about him a few times, and he wanted her back and all. I asked her to leave me 3 times when we were together. I asked her to be sure about this. She said she was. LOL the last reason she gave me for the breakup was "I had a gut feeling that I shouldn't be with you, you went ahead and proved me right"... btw I called her names after she left me.. I KNOW I WAS USED! Link to post Share on other sites
Author macardent Posted July 6, 2012 Author Share Posted July 6, 2012 /facepalm LOL do I even need to comment ? I see all the sings mate. I was a rebound. I see how I was similar to her ex in so many ways. But I had a few things better than him which she used to make him jealous. Thats all she wanted. To get back at him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author macardent Posted July 6, 2012 Author Share Posted July 6, 2012 I guess I found closure for now. Things are looking great! Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 which she used to make him jealous. Ding Ding Ding... the purpose of your relationship was to piss off her ex 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Oncehadluv Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 /facepalm LOL do I even need to comment ? no! but it would help.... thats if the OP is being tru to himself about taking this advice 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author macardent Posted July 6, 2012 Author Share Posted July 6, 2012 no! but it would help.... thats if the OP is being tru to himself about taking this advice LOL.. Seriously, had I listen to this guy early on when she left. She'd be begging me to take her back right now. Or at least I wouldn't be in this much agony. You think this is different and our "Love" is different than other people and all sorts of crap. In the end, it all comes down to games and stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 LOL.. Seriously, had I listen to this guy early on when she left. She'd be begging me to take her back right now. Or at least I wouldn't be in this much agony. You think this is different and our "Love" is different than other people and all sorts of crap. In the end, it all comes down to games and stuff. You aren't listening to yourself. You are the only person in that relationship to "LOVE" She still loved her ex and she used you for all sorts of reasons. She's not coming back, if she does, its going to only to apologize and thats it. Remember that if she shows up again Link to post Share on other sites
Author macardent Posted July 6, 2012 Author Share Posted July 6, 2012 You aren't listening to yourself. You are the only person in that relationship to "LOVE" She still loved her ex and she used you for all sorts of reasons. She's not coming back, if she does, its going to only to apologize and thats it. Remember that if she shows up again I am an idiot I apologized so many times to show her that I was the guilty one. She is not even coming to back to apologize. I took the fault my self, I put all the guilt on my self. But I am happy regardless, I saw so many things wrong with me. I get to work on them. And better myself. And learned that if I see a girl like that again I wouldn't want to attach myself with her. Not one bit! Link to post Share on other sites
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