Does Everyone Feel Pain Equally?

[PainsChains]

After my recent break up I took a personality test called the Enneagram. It says I'm a type 4 artist/individualist and that, out of all the 9 personality types, my type feels the widest spectrum of emotions. Meaning I feel happiness the most - but feel pain the most too. Supposedly I have more of a tendency to let my feelings rule my life and to dwell on them and to over analyze them, etc.

 

So what do you think about that: Does everyone feel pain equally?

 

Here's how I coped when my first love of 2.5 years cheated on me: I moved back in with my parents. I got up at 3 every morning and paced around the bathroom until daylight. Then I'd step out the front door and just start running. Nowhere in particular, just running. If I couldn't run anymore I'd just walk until I could run again. I'd end up in the middle of nowhere on the outside or other side of town and then I'd realize I only had a few hours of daylight left and I'd have to turn around and find my way back home somehow. So I'd just start running back the way I came. If I was lucky I'd get home by dark or before it was too dark to find my way. I'd eat some bread or a piece of fruit or something and pace around the bathroom until around midnight. Then I'd have two glasses of wine and sleep for 2 or 3 hours and do it all over again the next day. I did that every single day for over 2 months straight. And it was a full year before I wasn't at random moments just bursting into tears.

 

I've told people that and they think it's the craziest thing they've ever heard. I only did it because I felt like I had to run go fix things but there was nothing I could do to fix anything so I was more or less just running. I think maybe my personality test explains it a little better.

 

My second love left me because I was taking things so slow. But seriously, can you blame me taking things slow the second time around? Who wants to go from finally again happy to possibly spending 2+ months running 35+ miles a day while starving themselves because they're in so much pain they can't sit still or eat or function normally.

 

Has anyone else experienced anything like that? Done anything unusual to cope? I'm just curious. This personality test makes me feel like there might be others. I don't think my recent ex feels pain as much as I do. To be honest... I'm not sure she's capable of feeling anything deeply at all. I'm three months out from her - my second love/breakup - and this time I'm more normal. I run a good 15 miles a day now but it's just like a late afternoon thing. And when it's dark outside I'm not definitely not pacing around any bathrooms all morning and night lol.

 

BTW, aside from these 2 breakups, I don't ever run. I sit on a computer all day and usually don't walk five feet. I hate running...

[Exit]

People might feel pain the same way but have different ways of coping with it.

 

Not sure what all those various tests are really worth but sometimes they do seem accurate. I'm a type 4 as well. It does sound like we are the worst type as far as finding ways to be miserable, but in some sick way that's almost the way we prefer life to be. The online profiles for these types I've read made some good points, but one day someone lent me a book about the 9 types and this one seemed to be a lot more to-the-point and brutal with its analysis. It basically said type 4 is the most likely to get suicidal, to become obsessed with things you can't have, to be consumed by the feeling that something is missing from life, to have low self esteem, being melancholy and always wanting to be in a highly emotional state, etc. Actually I just found a few scans I took of the book, and rather than type 4 being called "the artist" or other things you'll see on the internet, this book actually labels type 4 as the Tragic Romantic. Seems fitting.

 

Your running thing doesn't sound all that crazy to me. Part of what I did after my immediate breakup was to go walk 10+ miles most days. It kept me out of the house for close to 4 hours at least. I was unemployed and had nothing to do but be miserable, at least the walking gave me something to do. I probably would have made it an all-day activity like what you did but I'm not in good enough shape lol.

 

So yeah, other personality types might handle it differently. They might feel better sooner or find a way to focus on the bright side of life. Type 4 apparently hates the flatness of ordinary feelings, we don't want to just be okay, we like being at one extreme or the other. So if we can't be totally happy, we'd rather be extremely sad than just somewhere in the middle. I think I've caught myself doing that because on the days I don't think about my ex or I'm feeling somewhat less miserable, I actually find some memory to think about to drag myself back down again.

[LoverOfDance]

I have never been through a break up but I've gotten my heart broken a few times. The one I'm healing from right now, is not my first heartbreak but it's the worst yet. Why? Because the timing of the heartbreak was not good at all. It happened at a time when I had found something else in my life that I love very much - dance(I'm a training professional in dance). I couldn't concentrate in class because I was sad so I didn't do well.

 

I cannot tell u how hard I've been working since I decided to pursue dance professionally(we are all working very hard). Not being able to concentrate simply because I was sad was like a double heartbreak for me because of how important dance is to me. Actually, that's exactly what it felt like. I felt like I was experiencing a double heartbreak. When I got home, I sat under the shower 4 hours and just cried.

 

That's how I dealt with my heartbreak/s. I just cried when I needed to and if I was feeling overwhelmed by the pain, I sat under the shower and cried some more. Everyone deals with pain differently I guess. Some definitely feel more pain than others and I think I'm one of those ppl. But I can deal with it because regardless of all that pain, I still find reasons to be happy. My siblings also help keep me happy as well:)

 

I think maybe some ppl experience more pain because they can handle it better than others. I'm a christian so I believe God allows u to feel a certain amount of pain sometimes only because he know u can handle it. He won't give u anything He knows u cannot handle. That's how I see it:)

[flitzanu]

if this was an internet test, then i wouldn't put any faith or credibility into it at all to "define" you or how you handled a situation.

[amaysngrace]

I feel pain different than other people too and I'm sensitive to other peoples energy so I know what you're talking about.

[Sugarkane]

Well the dumpees (and emotional dumpers) are always going to feel more pain. Also depends what type of breakup you have. It was easy for my ex- he was The dumper and never got close to my friends and family. He didn't lose friends like I did.