swchiiz Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 First of all, I am not good with words.. So i'll try my best to explain as clearly as possible.. Me and My ex has been in a relationship for 1 year and 4 months.. we broke up a month ago.. to be precise, we broke up on the 26th of may, she said she needed some space and that we are not suited for each other anymore (I think its bull****)... what shocked me the most is, she already has a new BF now... and I also know that her anniversary is on the 2nd of June.. cheated? perhaps.. It crippled me knowing she moved one so fast.... But that's not the question i am going to ask.. What I want to know is.. why is she still calling me? i have been doing NC for around 2 weeks... last week on the 19th of June she called me and I happened to pick up her calls, she was just asking how I'm doing and I ask about her job.. nothing fancy just a casual conversation... for about 2 minutes... And then again NC continues... all of a sudden, yesterday (4th of July) she called me again at 10AM in the morning, twice.. But I didnt answer... she didnt leave any text message either.. So I just texted her today (5th of July, 5 min ago), asking why she called yesterday and that I didnt hear her calling because I silent my phone (Which is true).. still no reply.. What I want to know is... why does she keeps calling me? I still love her, But she has moved on and I have accepted that.. I dont want to be a douche and destroy her relationship because I don't want karma chasing over me (though deep inside i still want her back) Please advise.
Ruby65 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 She wants to know you're still there on the back burner in case things don't work out with her new boyfriend. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.... but you sound like you're handling the breakup really well!
Author swchiiz Posted July 5, 2012 Author Posted July 5, 2012 Is there any chance that i can get her back? she did say she wants to be friends, and she said not to make her scared and dont hate each other..
Ruby65 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 Exes say to stay friends, not disappear, etc., to soften the blow and ease their own sense of guilt. They think if you still like them enough to be friends, there's no hard feelings and it somehow means they haven't really hurt you. They also like to keep you on the back burner as a possible Plan B in case things don't work out with anyone else. In your case, it really DOES sound like she had her new boyfriend lined up before she broke things off with you..... do you really WANT to get back together with someone who'd treat you that way? Even if you did eventually get back together, what makes you think she wouldn't break up with you again down the line? Breakups are painful and hard to get through... but in time you WILL get through this! You'll feel much much better and be in a position to meet someone who will really want to be with you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated!
Author swchiiz Posted July 5, 2012 Author Posted July 5, 2012 I just hate the fact that I gave all my heart to her and she is just using it like some kind of a toy.. I won't contact her anymore.. this will be the last time I text her (asking bout her calls yesterday)
Author swchiiz Posted July 5, 2012 Author Posted July 5, 2012 Am i wrong that I text her back asking why she called?
Ruby65 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 You've already done it, so forgive yourself and move on! It's best to just ignore any contact from an ex, unless they're asking to get back together. That's how I've chosen to handle it anyway, after SO MANY meaningless breadcrumbs over the years..... Right now it's time to just focus on YOU, on healing and on moving on. Read through threads on this site and post whenever you need to for advice or just to vent! Everyone here understands what you're going through.
Chi townD Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 Am i wrong that I text her back asking why she called? Why don't you answer your own question? Why do you think she's contacting you?
g450 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 (edited) Am i wrong that I text her back asking why she called? Yeah that was not a good move. You ate her bread crumb. Dont call her or text her any more and if you have to, block her number. There is a really good chance that she had the new guy way before she broke it up with you. That is usually how it goes. So it's time to really ask yourself, would you really want somebody back that would do that to you? I know I wouldnt. Dont be an afterthought for her. Find somebody that will put you first, not second. Edited July 6, 2012 by g450
Oncehadluv Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 dont cave in man, im going throu same scenario.... keep trucking until u get balance... that what im doing
Author swchiiz Posted July 6, 2012 Author Posted July 6, 2012 yeah.. I guess i really need to move on.. even though its really hard.. I blocked her FB, deleted her phone number and call logs,.. But still, Its hard not to think about her..
forgottenangel99 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 I'm sort of going through the same thing with my ex but unfortunately I can't cut all ties from him and it would be impossible to forget about him since I'm pregnant by him!! But my advice would be to just leave it like that. If she wants to get a hold of you that bad she will find a way. Right now take time to work on yourself and do things to take your mind off of her. I have been hanging out with family and friends, taking care of things that I neglected while I was trying to get things to work with him. It's weird because he has this humbleness to him now. What I'm saying is, instead of sitting around wondering and wishing she would come back in your life, start doing things with your life that you want and need to do. It's hard the first couple of weeks but it will get easier once you get the hang of it. Good luck!!
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