El Brujo Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 If you're female and lonely, you obviously haven't been to Los Angeles. Zillions of lonely men here, and zillions of women who don't want a relationship. Put two and two together.
Leopard Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 (edited) The other thing is that I don't think I'm incapable of getting what I want, so I'm not presently going to change it. It'd be different if I decided that the men I like are out of my league, and I really need to get realistic. But if I don't believe the men I like are out of my league (and I don't, because I don't have the totally exaggerated 'six pack, speaks six languages, model-esue" standards that are spoken of in this thread), then there's no compelling reason to lower my standards. I think I pretty much like in a guy the same things I have to offer, physically and other-wise. I know what you mean, but just because you are worthy of the man you want, doesn't mean that you will actually meet that man or that he even exists. I know this from years of single hood and virginity because I couldn't find what I actually wanted and was worthy of. So I gave up, lowered my standards and started dating and having a sexual relationship. Can't say that I still don't want a man like that, but I've come to terms with the fact that I will never find him, so I might as well find the best of what's out there. And so far I have My boyfriend is the most amazing person in the world Edited July 5, 2012 by Leopard
Leopard Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 I wish more women were like you, and to actually meet one of them. lol I'm only like this because I got sick of being single
Jane2011 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 I know what you mean, but just because you are worthy of the man you want, doesn't mean that you will actually meet that man or that he even exists. I know this from years of single hood and virginity because I couldn't find what I actually wanted and was worthy of. So I gave up, lowered my standards and started dating and having a sexual relationship. Can't say that I still don't want a man like that, but I've come to terms with the fact that I will never find him, so I might as well settle with the best that's out there. And so far I have My boyfriend is the most amazing person in the world I hear you. It's true that even if you're worthy of a certain caliber guy (or girl), etc., doesn't mean you're gonna get it. The question then becomes...would you rather be alone or would you rather be with someone amazing who isn't what you had in mind (but they're still amazing). I guess I'll see how things go. I think different people have different needs in life. I have some friends who abhor being alone more than others. I generally am better at being alone than some of my friends. So, if I end up not looking to 'not exactly my ideal but still incredibly amazing in their own unique way' guys for companionship, it's not necessarily out of stubbornness or refusal to accept anything less than my ideal, or disdain for certain men, etc. It might be, also, that I just don't want/need companionship badly enough. I know other people who are like this, too. I think, if you're talking to a man or woman who really, really feels empty without companionship, they're the people to say "lower the standards" to. But people who feel fine alone, you just have to let them do as they please. I hear you on all your points, though, and they make sense.
Leopard Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 Yeah that's true. I was talking from the viewpoint that no one wants to be alone for too long. But you're right. Some people prefer it. I'm the kinda gal who doesn't though 1
Author imabouttoblowup Posted July 5, 2012 Author Posted July 5, 2012 Somedudeblahblah, The only "men" that has approached me that I have rejected: a 55-year-old player that asked for my number repeatedly, asked me out to lunch, dinner, asked me to go to his apartment and flirted with me often, and then laughed in my face when I thought he wanted to date me. An educated african man, well-spoken, well-dressed, good job, polite, a master's degree,handsome and no kids. What could go wrong? Perfect for me. Later find out he was flirting with girls behind my back on a website. I'm apart of a writing club and I had known this friend, a fellow writer. He's smelly, bad hygiene, out of shape and a debbie downer. He tried to kiss me out of nowhere. That's how i knew he liked me. Randomly. Never spoke about liking me beforehand or after. I will not date someone who smells or someone I do not want to even KISS. I deserve someone whom I wouldn't mind kissing, AT LEAST. That isn't too much to ask. I don't need a man with abs or a man who is tall or a man with money. I work, I earn my own money, have my own car and am short, so short guys are taller than me anyway. Don't put me in a box just because YOU are bitter that you are "the nice guy" who can't get women. You are taking your bitter frustration out on me. If anyone is throwing a pity party and does nothing about it, it's YOU. I've seen your posts. Now if you aren't going to offer constructive advice, might as well not say anything at all. Thanks. 3
Author imabouttoblowup Posted July 5, 2012 Author Posted July 5, 2012 Thank you guys for your comfort. I think getting friends would help fill the void for sure. That is what I'm hoping moving to college this Fall will bring. I actually don't party though, I have other interests. 2
Algermas Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 OP, you should strive to become more beautiful. Alternatively you could join us in 2012 and ask men whom you think are desirable out.
Leopard Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 (edited) I'm miserable and lonely as hell myself but I never blame anybody except myself It's not always the person's fault they are single though. Not everyone can find someone they want to date, and not everyone is like me who can just lower their standards so they aren't alone. Lots of people have difficulty lowering their standards because it's not something you are supposed to do. You are supposed to love and be attracted to the men you date, not force yourself to date them out of pity for yourself. OP I totally get where you are coming from. I was a virgin until I was 21 because I couldn't find someone I wanted to date. I lost my virginity to some boy I went to high school with because I was so sick of being the only person who hasn't had those experiences. I was ready for sex at 16. Imagine waiting 5 years just to have SEX and no one you wanted came along. So I just did it. I don't know if you will eventually hit that bottom yourself, but once you do I think you will be more sympathetic with the people who give up on waiting for a guy who fits their standards and end up settling. In any case, I really do hope you find someone you are happy with (or at least someone who isn't old or smelly ) Edited July 5, 2012 by Leopard
Leopard Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 It's not hard to find quality men. It's hard to find attractive quality men who we want to date. Going to a gym doesn't guarantee finding a guy you want. It's ups the chances of finding a guy in shape, and even if he is "nice" doesn't mean he fits your standards. Everyone loved my ex, because he is nice and sweet, he was a gym buff too. Incredible body that I could just eat up. But 6 months into the relationship his psycho side came out, and I dumped him. My point? A man being nice and being attractive doesn't make him of high quality. For me at least, I need a really masculine personality and physique. This doesn't mean buff and a**holish. It's a certain demeanor and presence that I can't describe. I have met very few men like this in my life. The ones that I have met were much older and of 2 or 3 generations back. I looked up to them more than anything. I want a young version of them lol but these days it's hard to find a man like that.
WonderKid Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 I was alone on the 4th. By myself and everything. I was supposed to hang with another girl I was talking to. But I guess I wasn't her type or something. I kept shooting her texts, but she never replied. So I said skip it and I went home after walking. I was catching up on some DBZ the whole time. So it was as all cool. But I know what you mean.
Algermas Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 It's not hard to find quality men. It's hard to find attractive quality men who we want to date. Going to a gym doesn't guarantee finding a guy you want. It's ups the chances of finding a guy in shape, and even if he is "nice" doesn't mean he fits your standards. Everyone loved my ex, because he is nice and sweet, he was a gym buff too. Incredible body that I could just eat up. But 6 months into the relationship his psycho side came out, and I dumped him. My point? A man being nice and being attractive doesn't make him of high quality. For me at least, I need a really masculine personality and physique. This doesn't mean buff and a**holish. It's a certain demeanor and presence that I can't describe. I have met very few men like this in my life. The ones that I have met were much older and of 2 or 3 generations back. I looked up to them more than anything. I want a young version of them lol but these days it's hard to find a man like that. Because these days they're raised by single mothers in an overly pussified society. You have only women to blame.
Leopard Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 (edited) Really? Wanting a masculine demeanor and physique is really high standards? That's sad Edited July 5, 2012 by Leopard
iris219 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 Really? Wanting a masculine demeanor and physique is really high standards? Yikes. That says more about men than it does about me. I'm not asking for a rich, model looking guy who is a god in bed. I didn't know masculinity was too much to ask for... :S I thought the same thing when I read that response to your post. I didn't think there was anything unrealistic about what you wanted. Some of the guys on here will say you're too picky if you're wiling to reject a man who's interested in you for any reason. I once said on here I didn't want to date a guy who was too short or too fat and I got attacked for having standards that are too high.
Author imabouttoblowup Posted July 5, 2012 Author Posted July 5, 2012 OP, you should strive to become more beautiful. Alternatively you could join us in 2012 and ask men whom you think are desirable out. Just "You can ask others out" is fine without the "you can join us in 2012". That was unnecessary.
Author imabouttoblowup Posted July 5, 2012 Author Posted July 5, 2012 Really? Wanting a masculine demeanor and physique is really high standards? That's sad Wanting a masculine man is not too high of standards. Most men these days look gay and girly and that has become the "norm". I however refuse to date those types, I don't care who has a problem with it. A man should look like a man, period. 2
somedude81 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 Wanting a masculine man is not too high of standards. Most men these days look gay and girly and that has become the "norm". I however refuse to date those types, I don't care who has a problem with it. A man should look like a man, period. You should probably move out of the Castro in San Francisco.
iris219 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 I misunderstood Leopard, my apologies With that being said, I feel like I'm living in an alternative universe here. How is it hard to find masculine and good looking men? There are about 6 dozen guys like that at my gym and they're all usually pretty nice It's nearly impossible to find a masculine, good looking man who's single. It's so hard that I'm not even trying to find this. An average looking guy or a little below is fine with me. I go to the gym most days and there are never attractive, single men there. In fact, there aren't single men there, attractive or not. Are the guys at your gym very young, like 19?
Author imabouttoblowup Posted July 5, 2012 Author Posted July 5, 2012 You should probably move out of the Castro in San Francisco. You should probably get laid. Will help your temper and ignorance.
Leopard Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 I find those guys WAY too buff and very unattractive. Maybe they aren't hard to find in what you perceive as masculine. I think that my own perception of what is masculine is at least double of what you think masculine is. For example, I think Eric Bana in Munich is really hot. He has that masculine factor that I like. Brad Pitt and David Beckham are too feminine for me, for example. I don't find them attractive at ALL and never understood why the world is fascinated with them. 1
iris219 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 no, they're around 21-40. I don't know what to tell you, I know a ton of single and good looking guys...especially at my gym When you see a guy you like, do you ever approach him? I rarely see guys like that period. If I do, they are with their wives/GF. I don't know what I'd do if I saw one who seemed single. It's been so long since I talked to a single man, I may have forgotten how.
Leopard Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 I just don't understand why you're having so much trouble finding it Me neither
somedude81 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 You should probably get laid. Will help your temper and ignorance. Do you really think that I don't want to or that I'm trying not to get laid or ?
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