Mariana345 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 (edited) *To my ex: Hi! I want to talk to you, but I'm not sure what to tell you. I think that, just that I love you, I wish I would have shown more my appreciation, I wish I had talked more with you and told you what really happened with me. But at that time I didn't know. And now I don't know if I could do something about it, so, I think that I no longer have anything to offer. I wish we could be together forever, I really wished that all this years. I wanted to spend my life with you, love you, grow older with you. But now I don't see that happen. I regret a lot of things, but it's useless now. I wish I had realized before, before it become useless. I don't want you to hate me... You always loved me and I really don't want that to become hate. Please, just don't hate me. In the bottom of my heart I have a little hope that, in a few years, we may be okay again. Maybe even been together again. But the reality says me otherwise... This crushes me. But I wish you happiness, I really do. Please, take care and enjoy your life, I really want you to be happy. I love you, you will always be my first true love. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, please forgive me someday. Goodbye, goodbye for good. Mariana. Edited July 5, 2012 by Mariana345
StarlaStardust Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 Hey Mariana, it's a beautiful, heartfelt letter. Looks like you're going through the "putting him on a pedestal" phase right now. I am glad you got it out of your system and posted it here. Wishing you a peaceful night. 1
Author Mariana345 Posted July 5, 2012 Author Posted July 5, 2012 Thank you. I actually was thinking of sending it but... I rather write it here, were can't do any damage. If in ten days I still want to do it... well, time will tell
Author Mariana345 Posted July 7, 2012 Author Posted July 7, 2012 *To my ex You know what you big j*rk? I realized that I'm better without you. Do you even know why I studied international bussiness? My dream was to work in the japanese embassy, that's why I also studied japanese, even before than english. I was working for that dream... until I met you again. Because you don't have any intentions of living abroad or even to study other languages I give up that dream... I thought "well, if I'm going to spend my life with him, it doesn't matter" and I stopped preparing myself, and hide that dream. I settled. I settled with YOU. And for what? So that you could leave me for parties and your little friend? For that I gave up my LIFE?! You're a b*st*rd, and you not worth leaving anything for you. I'm definitely moving on!! I have 5 years to recover, and now I'm not going to stop for anything!! I have to work harder, but I definitely worth it. My dreams are stronger than you will ever be. I know that will get what you deserve, and I hope that you won't regret this, because I won't. I'm glad that you wake me up. So, thank you for that. Good bye big j*rk! 1
StarlaStardust Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 ooh! I start Japanese classes on Tuesday. I like this latest letter to him. You're not gonna send it, right? RIGHT? hehe. Yessss I like it a lot a lot mhm:)
Author Mariana345 Posted July 7, 2012 Author Posted July 7, 2012 (edited) ooh! I start Japanese classes on Tuesday. I like this latest letter to him. You're not gonna send it, right? RIGHT? hehe. Yessss I like it a lot a lot mhm:) Hehehehe, I wanted to send it, but that just give him too much attention, and he doesn't deserve it... Scr*w him!!! I even wanted to spy his fb account (to make sure he cheated) but he won't matter to me anymore, stupid little boy!! He can do anything he wants, he is nothing NOTHING to me!!!! Thanks to him I lost like 10 pounds, so I'm at my best, and a few weeks I'll go to the beach and have the time of my life! He was just restricting me, now I have my wings to be spread! Edited July 7, 2012 by Mariana345
Author Mariana345 Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 *to my ex. 6th week is starting, and I'm better. I realized that we are not fo each other, even when we tried so hard! We really are different. When we were at school that never bother us, but now we have to follow our own way because we both know that don't lead the same point. I know what my faults are, cause I've been having some counseling, but I realized that I need time to work on them, and we don't have time. We both know that if one of us move, the other won't stay, and I'm afraid that you already did. I can't stop loving you in 6 weeks, since I've been doing it for almost 9 years, maybe I would never do, but I will move on. I'm already working in my dreams, in part to improve myself, in part to forget about you. I wanted to apologize, but I don't know if you need to know that. Maybe you do, but I'm afraid if you response anything, more than you not saying nothing. I'm so afraid of you right now. I wonder if an apologize would make things better, even a little... I don't know, probably not. I wish I could hug you, I wish we never had to grow, for us to stay together, but... we have reached this point and we have to move! It's so difficult! I know that this letter won't make things easy for you, since you "can't handle this anymore". And for me since you cheated on me. Things are so twisted...
Recommended Posts