hinatticus Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I'd like to offer you some positive advice, but tonight I just endured a nice step forward than a huge step back. I'm in a world of hurt right now, but when I bounce back I'll see if I can help. I need help right now, it's like the blind leading the blind around here.
CopingGal Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Not eveyone here is blind. Some people really have lots of wisdom: Exit, Philosraptor, Taramaiden, and others. After you start to heal and move on, you will be full of wisdom too and can share it. I hope you are feeling better. Stay strong.
hinatticus Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Not eveyone here is blind. Some people really have lots of wisdom: Exit, Philosraptor, Taramaiden, and others. After you start to heal and move on, you will be full of wisdom too and can share it. I hope you are feeling better. Stay strong. I actually meant since I'm feeling unusually down right now that I wouldn't be able to offer my insights. The around here part was directed at his thread since it was basically only me and him in here. I know there are lots of people with wisdom on these boards. Wish someone could help me out a bit. My situation is slightly different than most on here.
magneet Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Hey hinatticus & the rest, She is putting ALOT of effort into appearing & behaving happy, (making comments how happy she is) although to me is all fake and mind games. I am still confused/angry/sad and after all that happened everyone tells me it not worth it but no one can really see how I feel. I can't seem to be able to shut her off or my feelings for her which leads to me feeling pathetic! I can't seem to shake off the rejection. I contemplate to tell her exactly how I feel but it will sound like a pathetic attempt to make her feel sorry and also the rejection will hit again and I will get hurt again. How friendly should I be? I have to for my little girls sake but there has to be a boundary right, I don't want to end up someone for her to unload her issues then run away. That being said tho, if I am not friendly enough how can I show to her (prove if you like) that I am better and I am in control of my life? She is having doubts about her OM apparently but may be prepared to go the extra mile for him. Only time will tell really. If anyone can have their 2 cents on the above, please do so. Do these relations often work out or are they doomed to fail? I wish I could get her out of my head. Yes, I know, heard ya, I should look after my self, do my hobbies, etc etc. For some reason it ain't working. I am scared going into meds as been told they take awhile to work and side effects and also may become depended on them. I usually tend to put up with pain, well until now lol. My sleeping was going good then suddenly last few days I started waking up really early again and being restless. Is it also common to see her in my dreams every single night? Sorry I wrote this quickly at work so hopefully it makes sense. I cant give my 2 cents on everything, but: your subconscious tries to work through things when you sleep. you only think about her, hence she is constantly in your dreams. I had the same thing, everysingle night. I even had lucid dreams about her, with her... not a nice time, i feel for you. you cant get over feelings within a day. as we all know its a process. (i also struggle to why its good or better without her). But mainly one should write down a list and in weak moments, weak times look at that again for motivation. that might help. with regard to rejection and telling her how you feel - tough one. I do know it drives the other person nuts if one tries to pursue something and they dnt want to. the best thing there is to wait, let things sort themselve out - be polite, but thats it. When u see ur girl, be civil and thats it. But that is easier said than done. From own experience i tried to tell my ex how i want her back and this and that. Well, she said she knows i love her, but i must really really stop talking to her about anything like that, as that just frustrates her and wont change her mind whatsoever. i think by being civil, polite, standing your ground things will turn out the way it should. Do relationships with the OM last? grass is greener... the main thing is the other party needs to realise what they have lost, how great you are. that you can only show them if you stand your ground, be your own man and with time, if they want, they come back. and at that time you will decide what you want...
magneet Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I'd like to offer you some positive advice, but tonight I just endured a nice step forward than a huge step back. I'm in a world of hurt right now, but when I bounce back I'll see if I can help. I need help right now, it's like the blind leading the blind around here. what helped for me to read through my old threads, the support people gave me there, to refresh my memory of what had been said... wooting for you mate
hinatticus Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 what helped for me to read through my old threads, the support people gave me there, to refresh my memory of what had been said... wooting for you mate I read my original thread from time to time. It does help. I just hate when a setback happens. Each time I feel like giving up, especially this latest one. But I'm not giving up just yet.
Author rippedapart Posted July 13, 2012 Author Posted July 13, 2012 Hi magneet, thanks for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate your advise. Just to let you guys know that it does help alot. hinatticus, Really sorry about your set back dude, you seemed to be in the right track. Hope this words help somehow. Keep strong.
magneet Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Hi magneet, thanks for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate your advise. Just to let you guys know that it does help alot. hinatticus, Really sorry about your set back dude, you seemed to be in the right track. Hope this words help somehow. Keep strong. That is what it is all about - that it helps. I am glad I can help a lil bit. Speaking for myself I have also been getting so much from this forum - this community helps a lot. I just try to share what I have learned and motivate each other.
magneet Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Hi magneet, thanks for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate your advise. Just to let you guys know that it does help alot. hinatticus, Really sorry about your set back dude, you seemed to be in the right track. Hope this words help somehow. Keep strong. have a look at these, they might help. just found them myself... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/81399-no-contact-q-you-ls-newbies http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/84894-guide-second-chances
Author rippedapart Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 Sh*t, I hate this. I will update more on my story when I have some more time but for now this is my issue. Yesterday I txt'ed her and asked her not to contact me again at all unless it has to do with our daughter (which we share custody), she replied fair enough. She sent me a txt today asking about something stupid i.e.. little favor. What the hell! I do not want to reply her as I know it will hurt me more if it hasn't already. I have to stick to LC right?
broken77 Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Just know at some point you will be so incredibly happy with someone else.
Author rippedapart Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 Yay, I did it. I resisted. Seems weird but I am proud I did not cave in.
broken-and-lost Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 I'm not sure this will be much help for you in respects of she met someone and was with them within weeks well my ex did similar and they are still together almost 22 months later i had the same thing planted on me i love you but not in love with you and that is just BS like everyone says. I can tell you one think i've had contact on limited basis with her for over a year and a half and it's kept me feeling ****ty and in pain i'm still not over it and has sucked the life out of me if you can keep things limited and about your kid i would suggest you do m8, if you jump to ever breadcrumb like i have it allows them to keep the safety net and work on the new relationship knowing the have the ultimate fall back if things go wrong only person that suffers is you. I'm ashamed to say i've let myself stay in this hole and now it's even more difficult to move on. You have a great kid concentrate on that instead of her. I didn't have kids and i wish i had that to concentrate on i know if i did that would have been my focus
Author rippedapart Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 Hi guys, a little update here. Last week has been such a roller coaster of emotions. I got fed every breadcrumb you can imagine, and just like an idiot I assumed there was an opportunity to be seized, boy was I wrong. Will leave out the details for now but there was guilt, un-sureness, sad etc. Then she flipped 180 again and basically I had to forget about her. I followed with strict NC, few days now. She tried everything possible! to get in touch and so far I have ignored. I am so confused now, I mean why the 180 turn initially and why try hard to contact me after me asking her to leave me alone. What is the meaning of all this?
Author rippedapart Posted August 14, 2012 Author Posted August 14, 2012 Been awhile, Here is an update on my story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/340902-what-does-mean
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