The Lesson I've Learned: The Incredible Value of Positive Momentum in One's Life

[Teknoe]

I think for many guys here struggling with finding a girlfriend and those who focus on it too much, I've discovered it's really hard to "achieve" something good without first gathering some positive momentum.

 

When I had my first girlfriend in 2004, I was proactive and getting "it done" in my life. Not only did I have a job, but I turned myself into the BEST employee at my job (with my boss trusting me as the #1 guy), I had a healthy social circle, I was involved in extracurricular activities that year in college, etc. I was, basically, in a good place in life when my girlfriend came along and became attracted to me. I was not coming from a "doom and gloom, I can't get a GF" posture, which absolutely CRUSHES any guy's chances of landing a GF. You may think you can mask some, if not all of it, but you're not fooling many people. And think about it, if it's something you're trying to hide or mask, then you know it's a negative thing, why not work on turning a negative into a strength?

 

Another example in my life was my career. 2008-2011 I was working part time as an after school instructor. It was for a private company. The hours were light (it was AFTER school, and only on Saturdays did I get 4+ hours and during summer/vacation breaks). Needless to say it didn't really push or challenge me to evolve. I was just doing relatively the same thing for 3 years. I had this fear of working full time and I wasn't even on the substitute list! I had such a huge mental block.

 

Finally, reconnecting with an old friend in November 2011 helped me to begin the wheels of change. She told me she'll put in a good word for me to her school's sub coordinator. (She is a full time teacher). So I came in one day to the district office, and they hired me to be a substitute December 2011.

 

I got my first sub call assignment on Valentines 2012. I'll never forget that day. It was 7:30 AM, I was snoozing like a baby when my phone rang. I knew it could only be the school, and that I'd have my very FIRST sub assignment! They wanted me to sub for 8th grade PE, and I just about jumped out of my bed.

 

Driving to work that morning I was listening to an uplifting message on the radio. In it the man said "NEIGHBOR, TODAY YOU GET STARTED!" Goosebumps up and down my arms. Today, I was getting started!

 

What followed from Valentines to late May 2012 included 15 sub assignments, ranging every grade from K-8, including an eight-day span where I subbed SIX times and really developed some positive momentum. Again, it's all about cultivating positive momentum in one's life.

 

June 2012 I applied full time to 3 schools. 1 contacted me, I interviewed, demo'ed a lesson and was HIRED FULL TIME. I start in August, and my 10 year dream of someday becoming a full time teacher with my very own classroom has finally come true.

 

I cannot stress how much of a difference thinking positively and developing positive momentum in one's life truly is. I have no doubt those 15 sub assignments prepared me for this day, and gave me that extra push I needed to cross the finish line.

 

So wherever you are in life right now, just remember that small steps and humble beginnings can lead to greater and bigger things, and many times we need to start out with the basics. It's good to get a solid foundation in place, in other words. You must learn how to walk before you jog, and jog before you sprint. Every decision you make in life can either bring you positive momentum, or it can set you back.

 

Do not overlook the value of living right, making sound choices, and gathering some positive momentum. It just might lead you to that place where you ultimately want to be. Even if it doesn't right away, you just keep living right. Eventually good things will happen to those who persist, push through and never say never.

[ThingsAreComplicated]

You may think you can mask some, if not all of it, but you're not fooling many people.

 

It's absolutely possible to mask this for many people if you have the right mindset

[Teknoe]

It's absolutely possible to mask this for many people if you have the right mindset

 

 

Why mask it though when you can proactively work on turning a weakness into a strength?

 

Nothing gets masked forever, BTW. Unaddressed issues, even if masked, are still unaddressed issues.

 

That's why I'm not big on "masking." Rather than sweeping things under the rug, I believe in facing your fears and addressing unsettled issues. It's only going to benefit you in the long run.

[carhill]

While positive momentum and healthy living are definite assets in one's life, it's a separate issue from being a person and having a life and lifestyle that others are attracted to, whether socially or sexually.

 

I think positive momentum and achieving goals and filling one's life with like-minded people is great. Period. It is its own reward. There was a time in life when I thought it would also be attractive but experience taught that life lesson well. Attraction, meaning genuine desire, like, want and need relevant to another person, not their goals, lifestyle, etc., is a totally separate and unrelated dynamic.

 

Congratulations on your achievements. My above commentary occurred due to this being posted in the dating forum. You have a lot to be proud of. Good luck.

[ThaWholigan]

Certainly positive momentum helps. When I was at Uni and doing well, I was at the top of my game. I was getting back to superstar level at piano, I was performing regularly, I had a growing social circle, girls were interested in me more than ever.......I was on a roll, and it was coming across in other areas of my life.

 

I'm trying to build up momentum right now before I do anything dating related that is significant. Being unemployed with no money and living with mum (as well as being unfit) really sucks when it comes to dating. So it's better I do something about all of that first .