runninggenie Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 i'm brand spankin new here and seeking unbiased point of views i'll try to be brief with the situation: my bf and i have been together for nearly 3 years. we moved to an island together in the early stages of our relationship for a job, lived together, came back to the states, lived together again, and started our LDR back in february. he went to training for a new job that lasted 6 weeks, and during that time, i made a move of my own for a job to denver. he's living on the east coast. we went about 2 months without seeing each other due to our work/training schedules. i moved into an apartment with 3 other people, two boys and two girls in total. after about 2 months of this living situation, i've started to be attracted to one of my roommates, and the attraction is mutual. i put up my defenses for a while but they've slowly been torn down. i never thought of myself as the cheating type, but it happened. at first, we'd just lie together and he'd rub my back and arms and legs and stomach. it'd feel good but i knew it was wrong. different events eventually led up to us hooking up one night a couple weeks ago. we didn't have sex...until last weekend. twice. the worst part is the fact that i don't feel overwhelmingly guilty over it and do not have that urge to tell my bf about it and come clean. i don't want a relationship with the other person, but i can't help being physically attracted to him. the other guy has an interview soon, so he may be leaving. i'm kind of hoping he gets that job so things can go back to normal for me. my actions up to this point have been entirely selfish, that i realize. i'm constantly confused and conflicted over the situation and what i should do to resolve this. i know the options: end the relationship or end the infidelity. not sure i can do either because i'm getting the best of both worlds right now (horribly selfish, i know). any non-judgemental advice is greatly appreciated.
justwhoiam Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 If your bf asked you if you cheated on him, would you lie to him? Or would you be honest? Also, how is sex with your bf? Is it great or so so? You didn't mention any emotional involvement, so it looks like you got the physical part when you felt you needed it. Actually, the fact itself that you're wishing he moves out of the house speaks for itself. You can surely do without him.
JWRP Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 (edited) Tell him - you are crazy to think 'homeboy' isn't going to be a hero and tell your BF. If you wait too long you burn the trust bridge completely with your BF. In a LDR the lack of affection should be understood by both people. The fact you went cuddled and had 'girl talk' is honestly nothing if you keep your clothes on and tell him. As far as cheating - you may be at a former bridge that'll be burned for you already. I'd bail on you either way for cheating. Chances are he's already talking to one of your roommates or has intentions to someday to surprise you. What a turn of events when that phone calls brings up 'homeboy.' You already messed up, seek forgiveness or seal your own fate to feel his pain later. Edited July 9, 2012 by JWRP
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