Acrobaticdealer Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I'm aware that most people here recommend NC to heal yourself and move on. But what if you don't want to do that? Wheres the romance gone? What about the notion of actually trying to get your ex back? What have people done? Any stories? Things that worked/didn't work? Any grand gestures of love to make your ex realise the lengths you would go to to prove how sorry you are or how much you love them? I'm currently contemplating getting on a plane to Canada to get my girl back. (laugh all you want, I don't care). If you didn't appretiate your ex as much as you should have, plying the waiting game and hoping they'll miss you will not work. I'm pretty sure of this anyway but hey, prove me wrong
TaraMaiden Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 If she dumped you, you're wasting your money. Why did she dump you?
rAFC Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 If you did something terribly wrong to make her leave, you can try proving to her that you've changed. If she "fell out of love", or forces beyond your control (depression, etc) led to the breakup, there isn't much you can do.
Charlie25 Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Thats a terrible idea ! Begging, pleading and grand gestures won't get you anywhere. Listen, i am (or was) in your shoes. I desperately wanted my girl back, so i read all the forums and "get your ex back" material i could get my hands on. Im not saying there is no hope, i believe there is always hope , but right now you are acting out of emotion, and when people do that; they usually do something stupid NC is not to get someone back, but to heal, so you can start to move on and think clearly. Patience is key here. If you show up on her door, she won't think its romantic, she will most likely think you are needy or even worse; a creepy stalker. I am not sure about you, but when i got dumped, i got some really mixed signals, so now i am stuck in this limbo of wanting to move on, but not fully able to because of these mixed signals. I dont want to be a hypocrite and say "move on" when i too want my ex back, BUT, you need to be cool. If you got an idea, its usually a bad one, so sleep on it and then decide what to do. A golden rule is do NC until you feel you don't need them any longer and then maybe jump back in. When you dump someone, you need space. If you (the dumper) are there "bothering" them all the time, all you do is push them further away. Its not so much about "getting someone back" but more of a "doing your best to make them want you back". Being romantic is fine, but not in this case
Mariana345 Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Thats a terrible idea ! Begging, pleading and grand gestures won't get you anywhere. Listen, i am (or was) in your shoes. I desperately wanted my girl back, so i read all the forums and "get your ex back" material i could get my hands on. Im not saying there is no hope, i believe there is always hope , but right now you are acting out of emotion, and when people do that; they usually do something stupid NC is not to get someone back, but to heal, so you can start to move on and think clearly. Patience is key here. If you show up on her door, she won't think its romantic, she will most likely think you are needy or even worse; a creepy stalker. I am not sure about you, but when i got dumped, i got some really mixed signals, so now i am stuck in this limbo of wanting to move on, but not fully able to because of these mixed signals. I dont want to be a hypocrite and say "move on" when i too want my ex back, BUT, you need to be cool. If you got an idea, its usually a bad one, so sleep on it and then decide what to do. A golden rule is do NC until you feel you don't need them any longer and then maybe jump back in. When you dump someone, you need space. If you (the dumper) are there "bothering" them all the time, all you do is push them further away. Its not so much about "getting someone back" but more of a "doing your best to make them want you back". Being romantic is fine, but not in this case I have to agree with you but you made me think about something... If you are a dumper or dumpee... then you sould wait, for your feelings to be settled, also when you want your ex back... but If you both are waiting... Is there any hope that something happen? I mean, someone has to do the first move, right? So, who is the one who has to do it? Dumpee or Dumper?
Charlie25 Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I have to agree with you but you made me think about something... If you are a dumper or dumpee... then you sould wait, for your feelings to be settled, also when you want your ex back... but If you both are waiting... Is there any hope that something happen? I mean, someone has to do the first move, right? So, who is the one who has to do it? Dumpee or Dumper? If you dump someone and then sit around "waiting" for them to make a move and ask for a second chance then you are a nutcase. Things just have to unfold naturally. Every situation is unique, no guide or forum entry can tell you exactly how you should handle yourself or act. You have to use common sense
Dblock10 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 i don't think there is ever anything someone can do.. all you can do is accept the situation and choose to go with it, or move on. if someone wants to be with you or come back, if it was meant to be it will be
Sugarkane Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 I agree at the start of the breakup, your emotions are all over the place. NC gives you time to step back and think about the situation. What scares me is "waiting" forever for someone. If they never come back (highly possible) than you realize you've just wasted do much time. Plus if they know you've been waiting for them, that really turns them off.
Mariana345 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 If you dump someone and then sit around "waiting" for them to make a move and ask for a second chance then you are a nutcase. Things just have to unfold naturally. Every situation is unique, no guide or forum entry can tell you exactly how you should handle yourself or act. You have to use common sense You are right... just that I lack of common sense right now... I'm totally paralyzed since the BU, and I feel like I can't do anything by myself (and I'm becoming annoying, even for myself XD) Naturally, naturally... well, I think that nothing can be forced, so, yes, wait and see is the best... Timeeeee, timeeeee!!!
Author Acrobaticdealer Posted July 5, 2012 Author Posted July 5, 2012 Thats a terrible idea ! Begging, pleading and grand gestures won't get you anywhere. Listen, i am (or was) in your shoes. I desperately wanted my girl back, so i read all the forums and "get your ex back" material i could get my hands on. Im not saying there is no hope, i believe there is always hope , but right now you are acting out of emotion, and when people do that; they usually do something stupid NC is not to get someone back, but to heal, so you can start to move on and think clearly. Patience is key here. If you show up on her door, she won't think its romantic, she will most likely think you are needy or even worse; a creepy stalker. I am not sure about you, but when i got dumped, i got some really mixed signals, so now i am stuck in this limbo of wanting to move on, but not fully able to because of these mixed signals. I dont want to be a hypocrite and say "move on" when i too want my ex back, BUT, you need to be cool. If you got an idea, its usually a bad one, so sleep on it and then decide what to do. A golden rule is do NC until you feel you don't need them any longer and then maybe jump back in. When you dump someone, you need space. If you (the dumper) are there "bothering" them all the time, all you do is push them further away. Its not so much about "getting someone back" but more of a "doing your best to make them want you back". Being romantic is fine, but not in this case Great advice Thankyou for talking some sense into me. How can I "make someone want me back" who now lives in another country though? Pretty tough huh? It's not like I'm going to bump into her on the street and flex the pecs I've been working on since she left me. Grrrr Facebook? Seems like a low form of re-attraction if I'm honest.
Dblock10 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 Great advice Thankyou for talking some sense into me. How can I "make someone want me back" who now lives in another country though? Pretty tough huh? It's not like I'm going to bump into her on the street and flex the pecs I've been working on since she left me. Grrrr Facebook? Seems like a low form of re-attraction if I'm honest. not sure, but if you find the answer id love to know.. !
Charlie25 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 Great advice Thankyou for talking some sense into me. How can I "make someone want me back" who now lives in another country though? Pretty tough huh? It's not like I'm going to bump into her on the street and flex the pecs I've been working on since she left me. Grrrr Facebook? Seems like a low form of re-attraction if I'm honest. Its harder when they move away far. But, keep it cool. Wait 1-2 months to take contact, maybe wait for her to do it. Make sure all your interactions are positive. If you are talking regularly, then maybe you can ask for a meet-up
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