frozensprouts Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 If you are the parent of a child with 'special needs" ( or the caregiver of n elderly parent), how have you dealt with this is the context of your marriage? Do you feel it has had an effect on your marriage, and , if so, what did you do to negate the negatives/accentuate the positives? I'm asking because I'm the parent of three children myself, and two of them have some issues that makes parenting a challenge, and, overall I believe it has had an effect on our marraige. The same is true for other couples that I know in a similar situation, and many of them have not been able to make it through it together. For us, we both feel guilty that two of our kids have the issues ( they are probably genetic), we are worried for their future, we are worn out sometimes and emotionally drained a lot of the time, and we find we often don't have a lot of time just for "us"... what has helped us was accepting that things are the way they are, that it's not our fault, that we need time together alone, and that we love all our kids to death- but it's okay to admit that sometimes we get frustrated, tired and sad...it's also okay to ask for help if we need it
CarrieT Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 The man I am dating has three kids and the eldest (boy, 14) is very special needs; an idiot savant, the child needs a full-time caretaker to manage his autism but is also capable of graduate-level complex mathematics and physics. The special needs of the child was not the reason my BF and his wife divorced, but the child's subsequent care has been a difficult bone of contention in them being able to maintain an amicable relationship. The Ex-wife has burned bridges within the school district with lawsuits and many of the caretakers (teachers, therapists, school officials) only want to deal with my BF regarding the child's care. It is surprising to me that I am willing to enter into a relationship with someone who has "this cross to bear" (his words, not mine) considering that when the child comes of age, he is still going to need some form of assistance.
Author frozensprouts Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 The man I am dating has three kids and the eldest (boy, 14) is very special needs; an idiot savant, the child needs a full-time caretaker to manage his autism but is also capable of graduate-level complex mathematics and physics. The special needs of the child was not the reason my BF and his wife divorced, but the child's subsequent care has been a difficult bone of contention in them being able to maintain an amicable relationship. The Ex-wife has burned bridges within the school district with lawsuits and many of the caretakers (teachers, therapists, school officials) only want to deal with my BF regarding the child's care. It is surprising to me that I am willing to enter into a relationship with someone who has "this cross to bear" (his words, not mine) considering that when the child comes of age, he is still going to need some form of assistance. you sound like you have a good heart and kind soul...hopefully, the relationship goes well for you and you will all be happy
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