I find out my ex is being made redundant, I feel weird about it ...

[melenkurion]

Someone told me that my ex is losing his job today, after a lot of absence due to depression.

 

I feel... Erm, I dunno. It's complicated.

 

I feel... relief that I don't have to deal with the worry and the stress and that I don't have to support him. He's someone else's problem now, and they are very, very welcome to that.

 

I feel... very annoyed with myself that I feel anything at all. I wish I'd just shrugged and felt slightly sad for him.

 

I feel... some vindication. I think that in part he left me for someone else mostly because he blamed me for not making him happy. His depression never led to any time off work, or medication or anything when we were together.

 

I feel... I hate to admit this, but there is a reptilian part of me feels glad that a bad thing has happened to him. I don't want to feel glad about a horrible thing happening to someone. I'm a bit disgusted with myself about that. I've been trying very hard to tell myself that what happens to him, good or bad is irrelevant to my happiness. I genuinely believed that I was there, and then I go and feel this little jump of glee (swiftly followed by revulsion for feeling it).

 

I feel... very, very worried. Our "divorce" is not settled, nowhere near. His financial situation is extremely precarious, whereas I am comfortable. When the process began, he was adamant that he wanted nothing from me. Now? Who knows. He likes a comfortable lifestyle.

 

Is this natural, after all this time? An hour after I have heard the news I've calmed down considerably. Maybe it's just a storm in a teacup.

[Philosoraptor]

Your worry isn't unwarranted here. Hopefully though nothing will change on his part to make things go any more difficult than necessary.

[shayla]

Your ex made his choice, he is now having to live with those choices. Hopefully he can work through it all.

 

Try not to be too hard on yourself for the rollercoaster of emotions you are having, it's to be expected. They will even out eventually.

[melenkurion]

Thanks.

 

A week has passed and I haven't given it much thought, in the end. It changes nothing, really.