gant29 Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 (edited) Guys, I need you. Please read my previous posts if you want to get the full backstory. But long story short, no contact for about a month now. Yesterday, I gave in and sent her a text asking if she felt like talking. She responded by saying "not right now, I'm sorry" Satisfied with that, I decided not to say anything else and just accept the fact that she is probably not a part of my life any longer. 2 hours after the text, she sent me a funny joke copied from a joke website. It kind of threw me off and I didn't expect it. I just responded with a "lol" Today she called me while I was taking a nap. I woke up to see her missed call and debated for hours on whether or not to call her back. I did eventually call her back but no answer. Like i stated before, she is one of my best friends-always has been. Only my best friend Danny is closer to me in my life. After what we have been through I do not want to date her again any time soon, and I am experiencing a lot of ambivalence with my feelings for her. A month ago I was certain she was the love of my life, now I am not so sure. We may be meant to only be friends, and for the first time im okay with that and don't want to lose her. What do you think this new contact from her means at this point? Edited July 4, 2012 by gant29
Author gant29 Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 Someone offer me some insight please, please.
Alban Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 She just wants to be friends with you right now sorry for that, and I think you are just trying to convince yourself that she's not the love of your life and that's probably whats the best you can do.. take some time go out with friends eventually everything will be fine and maybe this girl will come back to you someday if you want her by that time . Hope you'll be alright
Stanza Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I think you'll have to ask her but see how the conversation goes. Hopefully she'll call again. I'd say she's missing you. It's too soon for friends.
Gulf-Delta Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 She just wants to be friends with you right now sorry for that, and I think you are just trying to convince yourself that she's not the love of your life and that's probably whats the best you can do.. take some time go out with friends eventually everything will be fine and maybe this girl will come back to you someday if you want her by that time . Hope you'll be alright My how psychic you are! Not. There is no such thing as the friend zone with someone you've had sex with.
Author gant29 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Posted July 6, 2012 She called again today. This time I picked up. We talked for about 30 minutes. We didn't bring up "us" once. Just spoke about our families and what was going on in our lives in stuff. She talked a lot, it was so casual and cordial. I am glad we got to talk. The thing is I don't know what is going on now--she basically disappeared for a month, didn't respond to my texts and calls, and now she is initiating the contact. No mention of "us" or the break up at all. Just casual conversation. What do you think her intentions are here? I am getting the impression that she may miss me, but I don't know if that is too hopeful at this point.
Ruby65 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 I'm sure she misses you, and she also misses having communication with someone who's thrilled to hear from her and talk with her. She's been single a while now and might have even been rejected by other guys.... her ego has probably taken some hits and she probably misses being in communication with someone who loves her and cares so much about everything she says and does. Does it mean she wants you back? She might be entertaining second thoughts at this point, but If she REALLY wanted you back, she'd say so. I'd try and not read too much into it -- for your own sanity! -- and don't initiate any contact with her. See what she does and try not to get pulled into anymore casual contact. Just my opinion, but if she wants to talk to you further, it should be about the relationship and possible reconciliation. Again, just my opinion!
Chi townD Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 You gave into her breadcrumbs. You stopped chasing her and she wanted to know what was up with that. It's not that she wants you back. But your stroking her ego stopped and she wanted to know why. 1
headsashed Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 You gave into her breadcrumbs. You stopped chasing her and she wanted to know what was up with that. It's not that she wants you back. But your stroking her ego stopped and she wanted to know why. Spot on,once an ex realises that you aint in their lifes then they throw breadcrumbs to see if your still there. If an ex wants you back they will say the words "i want you back" everything else is mere breadcrumbs. 1
Gulf-Delta Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Spot on,once an ex realises that you aint in their lifes then they throw breadcrumbs to see if your still there. If an ex wants you back they will say the words "i want you back" everything else is mere breadcrumbs. Nope. Regardless of how they feel, the human brain just isn't that simple.
Edtheduck Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 I'm sorry but I refuse to believe the dumper in this or any case would actually come out and say "I want you back". They can admit to their mistakes, but I guess we have to see it from their angle too. They've broken our hearts, made us feel like **** and of course know this. So I guess it would be more of a gentle feeling the waters approach, until it came out. We're humans after all, we both feel emotions which make it hard to open up fully. It takes communication, I believe, to admit making mistakes, and giving it another shot. Either way, take your time, and evaluate the situation fully. Do what's right for you. And we will all support in any way. (I'm almost 3 months post BU and missing my ex like mad)
Gulf-Delta Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 I'm sorry but I refuse to believe the dumper in this or any case would actually come out and say "I want you back". They can admit to their mistakes, but I guess we have to see it from their angle too. They've broken our hearts, made us feel like **** and of course know this. So I guess it would be more of a gentle feeling the waters approach, until it came out. We're humans after all, we both feel emotions which make it hard to open up fully. It takes communication, I believe, to admit making mistakes, and giving it another shot. Either way, take your time, and evaluate the situation fully. Do what's right for you. And we will all support in any way. (I'm almost 3 months post BU and missing my ex like mad) Of course. Think about when you fell in love for the first time. Did you just come out and say it? I know I didn't. Nor did my ex. We loved each other, but as is natural with humans, we didn't know how the other felt, if the timing was right, etc.
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