babydoll Posted July 5, 2004 Posted July 5, 2004 Wow , im single. BF left me this morning. It was bound to happen we havent really talked in a couple weeks. Very uncomfortable when you live together. But actually, yesterday was alright, we went to the beach, but on the way home I asked him is he know this girl, and he flew of the handle yet again. And this morning he was still in his mood as was I after spending the evening alone. He said, either you get help or im leaving. Well, I dont like ultimatum, not to mention ive been to a shink on numerous occassions who all say im normal , other then depression. He , on the other hand, suffers from a incurable disease, that has obviously gone to his head, has frequent anger outburst, incredably jealous, worse than me, and when I ask him to get help months ago, just so he can talk to someone about the reason he is addicted to MJ(death in family many years ago)and I figured if he could come to grips with that he would be alot happier. Anyways 2 months I did have an appointment with my shink, and he tells me to cancel because there is nothing wrong with me, and he thought i must be screwing the shink. So anyways, I dont no what to think now. He didnt take all his things. He didnt even take his medication. Which is dumb because he is almost done treatment, only 3 more weeks left. If I had some money I would cab it out to his moms, because I do love him, even though im confused about us. He has had good results and I dont want to see him screw up after all we been through with the stupid treatment. At least he can drive his mother crazy, maybe she can understand what he has been putting me through for the last 5 months. Hmmm, I actually think I miss him already, night will be worse, but im sure the beer will help a little. Now if my mom would stop in and offer to keep the kids for the night, that would be great. I would much rather be alone. Thanks for listening to me rant, time to make supper for the kids. Babydoll
headstrong20 Posted July 6, 2004 Posted July 6, 2004 how long have you been together? do you have reason not to trust him?
Author babydoll Posted July 6, 2004 Author Posted July 6, 2004 Been together 2 years, he was a rebound from a bad relationship. I had no reason not to trust him, but there was uncertainty there, just the kind of people he calls friends. I though, I been nothing but faithful and loyal to him. I tried to be supportive. Even when he got angry, Ive tried to remain calm and understanding, although at times that didnt happen. Sometimes after being called a slut, I guess the 20th time something does kind of snap in my head. But still I stayed with him. I guess I did take him for granted. I do suffer from pms , really bad(yes guys its real) And I guess sometimes I was kinda mean, but Ive always tried to show my love even when I didnt feel like talking, with a touch or hug, kiss , whatever. He on the otherhand often just pushed me away Last night was rough. I had my drinks and surcame to hysterical crying, thoughts of suicide. Then I thought of my kids. So I hugged the teddy bear he gave me and fell asleep on the couch. Today I feel a little better, but I know that night fall will come fast, and there isnt anything to drink tonight. Going cold turkey. Hoping to find a good movie that will let my thoughs drift away. Sometimes I wish I wasnt so independent. If I had been a little old fashion and let my man be the man maybe I wouldnt be single.
headstrong20 Posted July 6, 2004 Posted July 6, 2004 Ok, so you're only 17 and have serious self-esteem issues. My bet is that he'll be back very very soon. You think you want him back, so he will be back. This situation is not normal for anyone. I am in the process of having major problems w/ my b/f as well, and am trying to break up with him. We split for the weekend last week (see post in the married forum "b/f doesn't believe in marriage". Well, I have decided I don't have the required feelings for him. I know what it's like to have someone you have put all your thoughts and emotions into (which, by the way is also not cool), and still feel like the bad guy when you wanna break up (maybe I am, I dunno, see!). I also know what it feels like to lay there all alone at night. Sit out in the living room alone and wish that he were there. But it's not him you want, necessarily. It could be your self-esteem. Suicide is out of the question, here. Life is far too short as it is. Soooo, are you going to have him back and remain miserable for quite some time and wind up breaking up eventually anyway? It will happen, it's just a matter of how much you wanna put yourself through before you snap. Also, if you drink when you are sad, you'll only get sadder. Drinking isn't for sad times. Maybe it's not healthy to do this, I don't know, but maybe distract yourself w/ friends for a while until you feel better and can then focus on ridding himself from your brain. Later, gator
Author babydoll Posted July 6, 2004 Author Posted July 6, 2004 17, no im 29. See I was with my xH since I was 15, then I made a mistake and had an affair with a MM. I left my H for him, of course as alway, those MM kind of string you along, and he did til he got caught, then I was immediately out of the picture. He stayed with wife. Anyway, I guess to be technical i was single for 2 months and I got with BF. So , today, he did come back. Im not sure if its gonna get any better, but im gonna give it a month. That way he will finish his Treatment, and hopefully get back to fun-loving self. I can at least hope that it is the medication that is making him this way. Babydoll
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