sad puppy Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Stay strong, don't respond. I know it's hard but you will be proud of yourself if you do not respond. That way you retain power, always a very good feeling. 1
whichwayisup Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Do yourself a favour. Tomorrow call your service provider and change your cell number. Problem solved there, you won't have to be tempted to text him back and you won't see his texts, so that's even better. 1
Author Ladydrib Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 let's wait and see if you cave. I don't think so... (said with sassiness). ;-) 2
twinsmom Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Will we hear tomorrow that you've caved?? I hope not..
Silly_Girl Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 What did he text? We could have a competition for funniest/harshest reply?! You can join in too... Type it here instead of in to your phone 2
EmptyHeartGirl Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 There's nothing like the feeling to take back control of the situation. Stay strong! 1
Author Ladydrib Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 What did he text? We could have a competition for funniest/harshest reply?! You can join in too... Type it here instead of in to your phone He said nothing of substance. If I were to say anything it would probably be: "You made your terms clear and I'm not interested, therefore I have nothing more to say."
TaraMaiden Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 ... but you're not going to.. right? Change the number....
Silly_Girl Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 He said nothing of substance. If I were to say anything it would probably be: "You made your terms clear and I'm not interested, therefore I have nothing more to say." Oh yeah, definitely not worth sending that, particularly if he's looking for a little game of text tennis.
Author Ladydrib Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 ... but you're not going to.. right? Change the number.... No way. I don't even feel a temptation to respond. And that feels awesome. 4
SomedayDig Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I know my wife put the xOM's number on her "blacklist" in her smartphone. Don't know if that's something you can do or not, but it was a whole lot easier than changing her number...which she's had for about 15 years! See if there's a way to block his number and stay strong!!
Author Ladydrib Posted July 6, 2012 Author Posted July 6, 2012 I'm glad I have learned how to navigate through the waves of pain and happiness that are part of healing. I say this because in the past, when I went through moments of pain I had a hard time letting them pass and not contacting my mm. But I'm happy to say, that although I'm in touch with my passion for him tonight, and he sent a second text yesterday, and I want to respond so badly in this moment, that I have the strength to let it pass and not respond. I focus on the idea that I'm higher maintenance than texts. And if he wants to be with me is going to have to put forth a LOT more effort than texts. He better show me he wants me by resolving his unhappy marriage. If he does not, perhaps he is not as unhappy as he has said. :-) it's been over three weeks now. Longest we've been apart since we met in 2009. 2
ac11442 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Good for you! I'm very proud. I'd like to believe I would have the same resolve as you if my xMM texted but I'm afraid I wouldn't. So I do understand how incredibly hard it was for you to not respond. So Yay you!
Author Ladydrib Posted July 6, 2012 Author Posted July 6, 2012 Thank you guys. I made it through the moment and feel great this morning! 2
EmptyHeartGirl Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Good for you!!! I know how hard it is! Are you enjoying the feeling of empowerment? When you get the urge, just think about this feeling you have and how silly you would feel if you caved and he hurt you again. Just be prepared for some likely scenarios: 1.He will continue to text with each text becoming more desperate and filled with more i love you's than you can count. 2. He will text and the more you don;t respond he will get angry and then try and turn it on you somehow. 3. He will text a few more times, then stop for about a month or two to see if you'll cave, if you don't then he will send "I'm just checking to see how you are doing, I still miss you" Don't fall for it, Continue what you're doing and if you can block his phone somehow I would highly recommend doing so, it will help in keeping you on course, and use this site anytime you get the urge. Keep it up you're doing great!
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