sammytexas Posted July 5, 2004 Posted July 5, 2004 Hello, I'm currently in a relationship and am running out of ideas and patients on how to deal with what's going on. I am 27 and she is 23. When we first met things were great, she had some responsibility issues but who doesn't at that age. Over the past 3 years she has regressed in every aspect of our relationship. It mostly has to deal with her going up in a abusive home where her dad was abusive to her mom. She has been in fear forever of being in the same situation. Mainly verbal abuse, just constant arguing. At first we were o.k. because there was no commitment, now it's falling apart. She started off with lying, nothing really ever big, just stupid stuff. Then she started stealing for no real reason. She lost her job because of lack of motivation and stays "busy" all day trying to appear that she's looking for a job, this has gone on for three months now. She has lost her car (blown engine), her cell phone got shut off, and her back account has been overdrawn for a month now. All because of some inner grudge held against me and her family. I give her my truck each day only to come back with it smelling like an ashtray and her lying about taking it to look for a job. She stole 400 pennies out of a jar that had about 600, thinking I wouldn't notice they were gone just to buy cigs. I offer help each day and try to motivate her and give her what she needs to get on track only to be looked down on and expected more from. I could go on for ever about the things but it really doesn't matter. When it comes down to it she tells me that she hates what she's doing and hates having to create problems to feel comfortable but she keeps on and more and more each time she will start a fight blaming and accusing me of what she's doing. She's getting closer each day to admitting to herself what she's done but with that she's fighting harder to avoid seeing it. I need help on how to deal with this situation. If I speak when she's mad she will argue every word I say, if I remain silent she'll go off on me with pure lies just trying to hurt me by saying she's tired of trying and she can't be with me if I can't accept her. And every time when she calms down she's sympathetic and will apologize to me one time and if I don't get over it right then it starts over again. Please let me know what I can do. Thank you, J [color=darkblue][/color]
soapoperahaven Posted July 6, 2004 Posted July 6, 2004 thinkit is time for an ultimatum i wouldnt put up with that if she wants to spiral into a hole why should you let your self be drug in with her tell her to grow up and take responsibility
princess rose Posted July 6, 2004 Posted July 6, 2004 Sammy, here's what you do: Close the door and never look back. That girl is sick, pure and simple. You will recover someday.
Author sammytexas Posted July 6, 2004 Author Posted July 6, 2004 Thanks for the replies. Yea, I don't know what's up, before I would have never put up with half the s@#& that I do now and usually added my own to it. Maybe that why, guilt? I guess the reason it's tough is that she really does care and want's to stop but lose's all of that at the first sign of adversity (which could be anything from asking where my wallet is to telling her that I know she lied about.......and to just tell me the truth. I know she wants to try but there's only so long that you can wait until you start to think that she will never allow herself to get better. But anyway, I do appreciate your replies, I guess it's something I have known but not wanted to face. Thanks again, Sammytexas
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