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Posted

My story is..no matter good things my husband is doing I treat him like he doesn't exist, i live in my own world. *knew him since I was 23, Now I'm 33 married for 6 years, we have a 3years old daughter, a great great father however he is very abusive with me! First years of marriage, he went through some difficulties, financially, I have supported him a lot, I tried to the best I can to be a good wife, he cheated on me several times, *I wanted for this marriage to work out, I didn't want to fail while I'm still young, he went back on track however still abusive, swearing at me a lot, hitting me even, I can not count how many times he broke my heart, through all this, he begged for forgiveness. I reached to a point where I don't give a damn **** if he says I love u! Hell with love if this is love! I look at normal couples and wonder how can they love each other! It is to this extend he disturbed me..my own perception about love is corrupted now, deep inside I don't think any man is capable of loving a woman a " true love". I filled for divorce, the whole world went against me I have the perfect life, we got a beautiful hose, we both living a good life, he is very good with the child...I had to rethink..I prayed a lot, he went to a doctor and turned to be a very angry man with anxiety, took few bills to lower the stress level, worked out for some time.. And he is back again, worse than before but he doesn't hit me any more, as once I threw him in jail.. Now he is trying his best, very romantic, but it is too late for me, he killed the love, I tried and tried, but nothing there. I feel much stronger, he can not brain wash me any more. I can seek divorce BUT the only thing holding me back is my daughter, I don't want to separate her from her father, she adores him, it is the world for her, he is the one who feeds, washes, sleeps her, they are in love with each other, how can I break such a beautiful tie! And there is another thing, my daughter holds his nationality and if it happens he ran away with her, I will never be able to see my child unless I go live in his country! *He knows I don't love him any more, no sex, we sleep in separate rooms, i truly feel much comfortable when he does not lay next to me, he becomes very angry as I'm not playing my role as a wife, all the energy I had is wasted on him years ago, I'm tired,,what do I need to do to live a normal life coz for sure I'm not living one, he chases me and I run away, he keeps accusing *me of having an affair, I don't, it is so ironic instead of fixing himself he accuses me with this!i wished him dead many times, can not tell you how happy I can be when he is not around, he just stresses me, now sitting alone in the garden writing this while he is sleeping, I feel free,,any advices?

Posted

Wow sounds like you've been through a lot with your husband and I'm sorry to hear all that's happened. I'm in a somewhat similar situation, my husband has been a pretty rubbish husband, treated me bad, walked all over me, ruined me financially. Last week I asked him to leave, he did. Two days later he was beggin me to have him back telling me he'd change (although he's said this many times before) my problem is do I give him one final chance or just stick to my decision, we also have a daughter and I would feel awful if she didn't have her daddy around all the time. I don't know if there's any love left for him or if he has destroyed it all. I feel so confused.

 

To me it sounds like you know what you wanna do but you're scared of the consequences. You can only do what you feel is right for you and your daughter. I was a daddy's girl and my parents divorced when I was 6. Yes it upset me but I'm fine. I keep trying to tell myself that as I also worry about the affect it would have on my daughter if that's the road I decide to take.

 

Best of luck and I hope you do whats right for you.

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