A MASTERS DEGREE? Does more dating opportunities exist as opposed to just a bachelor

[zengirl]

The idea of a woman being strong and educated, making a lot of money,etc... is all really fantastic. I have no problem with any of that

 

The issue is that I hate the idea of having to work around my wife's work schedule when it comes to having kids. I'm probably going to work a lot and I don't want to have to come home and take care of the kids as well. I want to come home and watch football and have a few beers

 

If we don't have any kids (or where the kids are somewhat capable of taking care of themselves), then my wife can work as much as she wants

 

I don't think there's anything 'wrong' with any of that, no more than there'd be anything wrong if you were female and wanted a SAHH. The problem would only come if society expected ALL women to fulfill that role, as it used to. Individuals choosing

 

I do think selecting someone who was ambitious and made good money earlier is a poor choice or at least a rare find, as she will likely be unhappy in a SAH Mom role, unless it's always been her plan to quit and do that or whatnot. But there are women who are working who would LOVE to SAH when their kids are small. As long as you're honest in what you're looking for, it's fine to want that kind of lifestyle, I'd say. I know quite a few hardworking women who wanted men who could work less or stay home some years and be primary parents, and they seem to be doing well. So I don't think that's just a gender thing, personally. People who plan to have very ambitious or time-consuming careers may need a partner who favors the domestic a bit more.

 

*I do wonder at someone who wants to have kids but not have much responsibility in taking care of them (male or female), which is how the bolded wording sounds. I think kids are really terribly served by having either parent disconnect from them -- that doesn't mean one can't be a SAH or primary parent when kids are small.

[Jane2011]

*I do wonder at someone who wants to have kids but not have much responsibility in taking care of them (male or female), which is how the bolded wording sounds. I think kids are really terribly served by having either parent disconnect from them -- that doesn't mean one can't be a SAH or primary parent when kids are small.

 

I agree!

 

How is it that you want kids but don't want much of your time taken up by them? It's like you just want the kids 'for show'?

 

I don't want kids that badly, right now. But if I had one, I'd want to be with him or her all the time. That's partly why I don't want to have one, because my desire to be with him/her (and take care of him/her) would overwhelm my existence.

[Jane2011]

No, I love kids to death. I just don't want to have to come from work after a long day and have to feed/change diapers etc... while my wife is at work

 

 

Having kids is a ton of work. I'll be honest in that I love playing with them but I'm not crazy about all the work it takes to raise them around the age of 0-7

 

I see. I think they're a lot of fun at those ages, myself, but I don't think what you're saying is that unusual. You want a kid, just not a baby and a toddler so much.

[TaraMaiden]

You do know that what you gain from your wife as an absolutely perfect mum and kid-raiser - you'll lose in the bedroom stakes?

 

Having young kids is the most effective, complete and debilitating contraceptive there is.

 

An infrequent and unsatisfying sex life, due to having young children, is the most common cause of disharmony and dissatisfaction for men, and it's a widespread issue....

 

My advice?

Either be prepared to help when she asks, willingly - or be snipped and solve any future problem of dealing with the issue at all...

[Jane2011]

No I love babies and toddlers. I just don't want the 24/7 job of raising them while my wife is at work. I want her to do it all

 

 

I just want to be able to play with them and love them

 

She will most likely resent you for wanting her to "do it all" (the work).

 

Loving the kid *is* taking care of them and 'doing the work'. You just want to come home from work, ask what they did in school that day, maybe wrestle around for a bit, tell a few jokes, etc. That wouldn't really be loving them, though. You just want to shoot the breeze with them. Your wife will be the one actually loving them.

[Jane2011]

That said, I think most women are willing to do most of the work when it comes to raising kids. I read some article that said women actually shoo men away when they (the men) try to do a lot of childcare duties, to the point of nearly eclipsing women.

 

Women are savvy about the idea that the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world. But still, I think most women don't want to do everything.

[TaraMaiden]

...So you don't mind the "you raise the kids and do everything for and with them, and I'll be happy to stay celibate for 5 years" angle....?

[Jane2011]

yep thats perfect

 

Still, you might get a wife who's looking more for a 60-40 split rather than 75-25. And from the way you sounded in the beginning, you're really looking for a 100-0 split.

 

So...you should help. If you have a kid, then you're a parent just as much as she is; you should help as much as you can, not "as little as you can get away with."

[pink_sugar]

It depends on what they make of it. There are some people with extensive education that have a difficult time looking for jobs depending on their field. However, some people can make close to six figures with trade school backround, an AA degree or sometimes no degree. I know people with no college backround making good money and people with degrees from Universities who are applying for minimum wage jobs because they can't find anything else.

[WonderKid]

Its about compromise. If I have a day off of work, and I know she's at home all the time--anytime I can--I'll help with the housework and kids. I'd surprise her on somedays. Make a dinner for her or run her a nice bath while I spend time with the kids. Having a great job is good but the best and hardest job in the world is being a father. I'd do the best I can.

 

But as far as education goes, it really doesn't matter if the woman has a Masters Degree. As long as she's a good person I'm fine with that. Its funny now because really a high school diploma is really nothing now. Soon you're gonna need 4 yrs of college just to do anything. LoL

[ikele]

it doesn't help it hurts you. how many womens are for the nerds. all raise your hands. several of you. the several of you whisper in my ears i just raised my hands so the nerds will get a vote. i won't actualy be with a nerd.

[ikele]

It depends on what they make of it. There are some people with extensive education that have a difficult time looking for jobs depending on their field. However, some people can make close to six figures with trade school backround, an AA degree or sometimes no degree. I know people with no college backround making good money and people with degrees from Universities who are applying for minimum wage jobs because they can't find anything else.

 

if a male wants females. money is important. looks are important. book education hurts.

[MuscleCarFan]

if a male wants females. money is important. looks are important. book education hurts.

 

How does book education hurt? That doesn't make any sense.

[WonderKid]

Money makes relationships but can break them so good and fast. It's a shame really but it's just how it is.

[ikele]

How does book education hurt? That doesn't make any sense.

 

it screams the words nerd or geek. need i say more?

[Stupid Girl]

it screams the words nerd or geek. need i say more?

lol how old are you? Something tells me you haven't been around long..

 

As to the question posed in this thread, it really depends what type of masters degree we're talking. A masters degree in Relationship Studies, sure that might create better dating opportunities. Other types of degrees, probably not so much.

[MuscleCarFan]

it screams the words nerd or geek. need i say more?

 

That sounds stupid and ridiculous. If anyone wants any sort of decent income these days, you have to have a college degree or some sort of certification that is useful, like being a car mechanic. Typically those who are more educated will make more over their life time than those who are less educated.

 

Increased earning income from bachelors, masters and doctoral (PhD) degrees

[Balzac]

W0W. Lots of high earners dropped college. Started own biz and never looked back. That being said, I am fully supportive of post grad education.