irc333 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I don't know if this has been an issue lately. There's this woman I met online (has happened with a few other women, too) They prefer to just meet in person, as opposed to providing a PHONE # to arrange a meet in person. I suppose this can be done. Just type in the address, time and location of the "Meet" But would anyone have a problem with this? I kind of do, but...in order to get a date, I would have to compromise to do this? I had basically asked her about getting her # and meeting up. She said she's just prefer to meetup and named a particular venue that she'd like to meet at.
january2011 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Perhaps she's had a bad experience in the past after giving a guy her number and/or she's very protective of her personal details. If you like her and want to date her, it's hoop you're going to have jump through, I'm afraid. Otherwise, move on.
Author irc333 Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 Perhaps she's had a bad experience in the past after giving a guy her number and/or she's very protective of her personal details. If you like her and want to date her, it's hoop you're going to have jump through, I'm afraid. Otherwise, move on. I might move on, I usually have a policy of hearing someone's voice before meeting them in person. The "bad experience" isn't really a valid excuse actually. I mean, she could meet a man at a local venue (in real time), and he'd ask her for her #...ever hear of a woman not giving a # to a man in person?
january2011 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I might move on, I usually have a policy of hearing someone's voice before meeting them in person. The "bad experience" isn't really a valid excuse actually. I mean, she could meet a man at a local venue (in real time), and he'd ask her for her #...ever hear of a woman not giving a # to a man in person? Unless you know what the bad experience is, I think it's premature to judge whether it's valid or not, in your opinion. Personally, if I were to meet a guy in-person, I'd most likely give him my number so that we could co-ordinate. But I can see that if a woman had difficulties with guys blowing up her phone and not taking "no" for an answer, she'd rather not give it out than have to change it again. You have your policy about hearing someone's voice, she has her policy of not giving out her number. Both seem reasonable to me. Though, unfortunately, incompatible if neither of you are willing to compromise.
Emilia Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I might move on, I usually have a policy of hearing someone's voice before meeting them in person. The "bad experience" isn't really a valid excuse actually. I mean, she could meet a man at a local venue (in real time), and he'd ask her for her #...ever hear of a woman not giving a # to a man in person? While I agree with you that talking to someone first is a very good idea (and I would want to as well), it's different when you meet someone in real life because you can gauge usually whether they are weird or not to start with
stillafool Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I don't know if this has been an issue lately. There's this woman I met online (has happened with a few other women, too) They prefer to just meet in person, as opposed to providing a PHONE # to arrange a meet in person. I suppose this can be done. Just type in the address, time and location of the "Meet" But would anyone have a problem with this? I kind of do, but...in order to get a date, I would have to compromise to do this? I had basically asked her about getting her # and meeting up. She said she's just prefer to meetup and named a particular venue that she'd like to meet at. I think she wants to meet in person to see if she likes your looks and personality before she gives you her number. Maybe she has done this before and the guy wouldn't stop blowing up her phone even though she had no interest in him. 2
maybealone Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I might move on, I usually have a policy of hearing someone's voice before meeting them in person. The "bad experience" isn't really a valid excuse actually. I mean, she could meet a man at a local venue (in real time), and he'd ask her for her #...ever hear of a woman not giving a # to a man in person? But at that point, she has met him. Until you meet someone you are chatting with online, they could be anyone. That can be a safety issue for some people. Once you have a phone number, you can usually get a full name, address, and enough information to Google everything about that person. Why don't you give the woman your number and ask her to call you? That way, you still get to talk but, if she feels it's necessary, she can block her number from caller ID when placing the call.
Author irc333 Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 But at that point, she has met him. Until you meet someone you are chatting with online, they could be anyone. That can be a safety issue for some people. Once you have a phone number, you can usually get a full name, address, and enough information to Google everything about that person. Why don't you give the woman your number and ask her to call you? That way, you still get to talk but, if she feels it's necessary, she can block her number from caller ID when placing the call. Man, sounds like a lot of work. Anyhow, some people, let's say we take the side of the lady. People who had given advice said , as men, to be simply aware of a woman's safety, instead of calling "BS" on it all the time. I mean, even out in public, women are on constant alert, even post-nighclub time, That's why they always travel in numbers or sometimes have their guard up when a strange man approaches them...and as men, we need to perhaps keep our distance when talking to them. Basically, as men, if we don't compromise to meet the heightened awareness, we might miss out? Some men call BS on it, but others might simply say we should be empathetic about a woman's safety.
Author irc333 Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 Actually I should consider it an achievement to even GET a woman to meet me in person. LOL
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I do that because of some psycho men that won't take no for an answer. Plus I hate talking on the phone. In person, I can gauge psycho/creepy vibe of a guy and decide from there.
Christine52 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Believe it or not, there are many men out there who stalk women, to varying degrees. She doesn't know you or have any mutual friend who can vouch for you. She is being safe. You should respect that, and know not to take it personally.
rana-rana Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I don't know if this has been an issue lately. There's this woman I met online (has happened with a few other women, too) They prefer to just meet in person, as opposed to providing a PHONE # to arrange a meet in person. I suppose this can be done. Just type in the address, time and location of the "Meet" But would anyone have a problem with this? I kind of do, but...in order to get a date, I would have to compromise to do this? I had basically asked her about getting her # and meeting up. She said she's just prefer to meetup and named a particular venue that she'd like to meet at. thats cuz u doing that lame ass OLD. why dont u talk to us in real life and see how it goes papi? I usually always give guys a chance if they decent looking and come at me right so getting my number is apart of the game.
oaks Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I've come across this a few times, including a date today where I still don't have her number despite having met her. So I guess there won't be a date #2 with this woman, which its a pity because I thought she was great. She was more interesting than her profile and looked younger and slimmer and prettier than her photos. So far (sample size: 4) none of them flaked on the first date and none of them turned out to be men. They all turned out to be at least as good as their profiles. So, I don't worry about it too much. On the plus side, if the date goes badly and you don't have her number you won't feel bad about not calling her.
RedRobin Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Google Voice works like a charm... Not only do you not have to give out your real number, but when people call it, it forwards to wherever you want it to go... home, work, cell, wherever. You can even set it up to transcribe the voice message and have the transcription automatically text your cell... no need to check messages anymore.
phineas Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I've come across this a few times, including a date today where I still don't have her number despite having met her. So I guess there won't be a date #2 with this woman, which its a pity because I thought she was great. She was more interesting than her profile and looked younger and slimmer and prettier than her photos. So far (sample size: 4) none of them flaked on the first date and none of them turned out to be men. They all turned out to be at least as good as their profiles. So, I don't worry about it too much. On the plus side, if the date goes badly and you don't have her number you won't feel bad about not calling her. This! I did this with one woman & didn't mind it at all. She wanted to meet quickly so no extended emailing. No 2nd date but it was painless for me & I had fun.
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 This! I did this with one woman & didn't mind it at all. She wanted to meet quickly so no extended emailing. No 2nd date but it was painless for me & I had fun. Yep, that's what I do. Few e-mails and quick meet-up. I actually tell guys that I am not into extended e-mailing or phone conversations and prefer to meet right away. Low expectations all around and no wasted time.
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