bambam69 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Me and my ex boyfriend were happy and in love and everyone thought we were the "perfect" couple because we never argued and if we did it was about who loves who more. We were inseparable and we would always go on our little dates. We were happy until I unexpectedly broke up with him and he was completely crushed. I didn't know how to explain why I did it but it was over and done with. He cried and posted depressing statuses about it for about two months after the breakup. He thought I was the most heartless person but he didn't want to blame me because he thought it was his fault. What he didn't know was that I broke up with him because he was too perfect and I didn't want to ruin anything so I pushed him away until I split up with him. I feel stupid and I regret everything that I did because we loved eachother so much. He tells me he still loves me and we hangout all the time. We kiss. When I'm with him it feels like the good times are back which is amazing but he's not mine . . He tells me he wants to be together again and he still loves/misses me but he doesn't know if he should trust me. I need to get his trust back because I believe he is the one and we'll eventually find our way back to eachother but I also want to know if it's right to fight for him back. I have learned my mistakes. I've thought a lot and I have grown up a lot since this happend. I want him back. Help me?
fucpcg Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Unless you've done something to learn why you did what you did, and work on those issues, he doesn't have any good reason to trust you. Saying you broke up because it was too perfect is not a reason, nor acceptable. In fact, makes you less trustworthy. You need to figure out why you would dump someone you say is perfect. 2
Mariana345 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I think the same as fucpcg... Your actions don't seem to follow your heart, so, yeah, Is a reason to not trust you, put yourself in this guy shoes... I'm even more concern about how you don't know if you should fight for him... If you don't even know that... See, he still cares for you, he still enjoys your company, the only thing that's left is you to do the right things... Good luck 2
Stanza Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I agree with the others. You need to really drill down to why you left. No one can really be too perfect can they? Sounds like you still care for him though. But you need to be honest both to yourself and him. 1
TripLine Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 If I was him, I would detest you and not trust you as well. Your reason has no merit and it is not even a reason at all. You are probably not telling the whole story. Bad childhood? Trust issues?
tallydoo Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I also agree. I'd take a few days of space and really figure out why you left; then try fighting for him. Make him feel wanted but not smothered, and make sure you can explain the reasons you left and why they're not applicable anymore. Once bitten, twice shy, right? I'd be wary if I were him too. Approach with caution and love. 1
Phanpooh Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Problem is that you dumped him cuz he was perfect. In this case, he trust you but you cant trust yourself and you was afraid of his "perfect". That why you wanted to break it up and tried to answer your "question"... What is missing? Why u broke up with him? Cuz there is sth missing and u dun know what is that. U want he back cuz u knew there thing isnt missing from him and wanted to take his trust back. But if u get back with him now, you r still not happy. Cuz u have to answer yourself first, what is lacking of ur life! In this forum, it's called "GIGS", and u r in stage 4... U rnt ready for him. His trust will get back when u r ready for him, when u r sure about yourself and really work hardly to fight for a chance with him. Now u need to tell him how u feel and show ur respect, improve urself and deal with that freak head
Sebastian76 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Unless you were cheating on him, I would fight with everything I've got to get him back and just tell him that you got afraid and panicked (if that is the truth and you haven't slept with others since). Your problems are less than most of what I read here on LS. Sounds like your relationship was really magic and let me tell you that this is a rare thing and something many people never get to experience in their lifetime, so imho it is so worth fighting for. /Seb 1
Xjusticenlossx Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Yea, you need to really look over the whole relationship....every moment if possible and find out the times you guys "could have" aurgued and etc. cause chances are you or him was keeping something bottled up. 1
Author bambam69 Posted August 19, 2012 Author Posted August 19, 2012 Thank you for your replies. No, I haven't been banging anyone. I'm a virgin. I have trust issues from my childhood which could be affecting me in this situation. I hesitate to fight for him because he dated one of my friends afterward. . . He called her my name many times, which I think is quite funny. ;D One of his friends (has a bit of a thing for me) tells me he is a player now. But I don't know if it's true or if he said it just because he's jealous. I have thought over my personal problems and I did panic at the time. I figured everyone one has something that they are hiding. I let go because of my trust issues. Why was he so perfect to me? Could he be hiding something big? All I know is I want him back but I don't know how. .
Stanza Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 I think you could try putting your heart on the line, meet him, tell him. You will need to prove somehow, 100% the issues really are gone, rather than smoke-screened. If they aren't fully gone, say that and how you're continuing to work on them... Any rebound activity from him is a band-aid because of the pain of losing you, just ignore it, push past it and go for your desire of being with him. 1
ThatJustHappened Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 Not arguing is not generally the mark of a perfect couple. Arguing is healthy..it clears the air. Not saying you should pick fights with him, but if you never argue, then something is wrong. But back to the subject at hand..the only way you're going to earn his trust back is with time. It sounds to me like he's on his way back to you regardless but if he doesn't trust you then the new relationship isn't going to work. Normally I'm not a big advocate of spewing out one's feelings, but if I were in your position, I would be completely honest. I would tell him that you want to earn his trust back and the only way you can do that is by showing him that you're trustworthy. I would ask him to tell you what you could do to prove it to him. 1
Greznog Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 I felt a drop of drool forming at the corner of my mouth trying to comprehend the logic behind the original post. Alas, I haven't been able to figure it out.
changchewsoon Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 I don't understand either, how could anyone break up with their partner because they think he/she is perfect? If you are having self esteem issues, it would be good that you be totally honest with him and at the same time do a bit of soul searching yourself to deal with it. But I think he is finding his way back to you 1
Author bambam69 Posted August 19, 2012 Author Posted August 19, 2012 I guess I was bottling up my emotions and jealousy because he was perfect to me and there's always someone prettier than me, smarter than me, funnier than me, more confident than me. I guess I just thought he deserved better but at the time I didn't realize that he didn't want "perfect" he just wanted "me". That makes me feel worse about what I did but at the same time it makes me happy knowing that he loved me for me and I think that might be another way I could get him back?
beach Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 I guess I was bottling up my emotions and jealousy because he was perfect to me and there's always someone prettier than me, smarter than me, funnier than me, more confident than me. I guess I just thought he deserved better but at the time I didn't realize that he didn't want "perfect" he just wanted "me". That makes me feel worse about what I did but at the same time it makes me happy knowing that he loved me for me and I think that might be another way I could get him back? You could benefit from counseling to help with YOUR insecurities and your past that you're letting define you.
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