cak24 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 O.K., so this is my first time posting anything so I'm not sure if I'm in the right place. That being said, I'll try to keep this short (if I can). My 6 year relationship ended 5 months ago (she was the one that ended it stating that she thought that "we just want different things in life"). We have co-ownership of our dog so we have to see each other at least 2 times per week since our split. I recently pieced together some information that she was starting to date again (through her friends facebook posts, not good I know). So two weeks ago when we were exchanging our dog she asks me if she can drop the dog off early because she "just has this thing to do". So I just had to ask (to see if I was correct in my thinking) "why do you have a hot date or something" She of coarse said no, so I asked two more times before she admitted it. I asked why she didn't want to tell me and her reply was that she did not want to hurt me. I then asked if she ever thought that we may date again and her reply was "I just don't see that happening" and then stated that "I told you that I didn't want to give you any false hope" (even though that's all she has been doing since the split and my therapist even agrees). I then told her that I only wished I did things differently so that we would not have to be in this situation and wisher her the best with her new relationship (which she then sad that they are just hanging out). Then I told her all things considered I really don't think that we should be in contact with each other anymore and that when we do have to talk it is only about what is going on with our dog and she agreed with this and understood why I needed to do this. A couple of days later we exchange the dog (the day of her date) and I say "is there anything I need to know about the dog" she says no and then leaves. (this is the way it is suppose to be). Two days later she starts following my posts on FB liking my statuses, ect. A week goes by and I've still been in not contact, then I have to drop the dog off at her house and I tell her the basic info that she needs to know about the dog. She then starts asking me questions about what is happening in my life and like a fool I get suckered in and start talking to her (for an hour). Then I say that I can't keep talking to you like this and please respect my wishes and just keep the conversations about the dog and she again agrees. Another week passes (still no contact) and she has the dog. The day before she is to give the dog back to me, she texts me stating that she is one cup short of dog food and asks if she can come over to my place and get ONE CUP of dog food. I call her back and tell her that I'm leaving and that she should just go to the store and get a can for the following day (She apparently didn't know that she could do that.). Then when she drops off the dog, she found out that I was not feeling to well and brings me over things to help with my sickness, gives me a shoulder massage and leaves. The next day she texts me to see if I am feeling any better and if I had called my doctor. I reply that I'm feeling a little better etc. and now I haven't heard from her since! What the heck am I suppose to make of this? Any insight would be very helpful!!! (and crap this got long, sorry).
Samilia Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Are you guys going to share the dog for say.. the next 10 years? Seems like you're getting better and she's phising see if she has any influence left on you.
wilsonx Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Either take the dog or give it to her. You both are using it as a string to stay in contact with each other. She obviously cares for you but just because someone cares for you doesnt mean they want to be in a relationship with you.
Author cak24 Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 You know that is something that I have been considering (and it would be me that gets the dog!) My problem is that: 1. don't know if I have enough money. 2. I actually enjoy having some time away from the dog so that I am able to go out an meet others. and 3. It is impossible to give her up to rescue again as the poor thing has already had a hard life.
Samilia Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 You know that is something that I have been considering (and it would be me that gets the dog!) My problem is that: 1. don't know if I have enough money. 2. I actually enjoy having some time away from the dog so that I am able to go out an meet others. and 3. It is impossible to give her up to rescue again as the poor thing has already had a hard life. Then leave it with her.
wilsonx Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Sounds like 3 reasons why you want to keep in contact with your ex. Otherwise you would let your ex have the dog and you would move forward with your life 1
Author cak24 Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 True, so very true! and that would be something I would want to do however, she has already told me that she does not want to have the dog by herself. This is why I am in this situation.
CopingGal Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I think it's commendable that you don't want to give up the dog to a shelter. God bless you. Maybe you can agree to take the dog if your ex gives you money to help take care of it. If you have enough money you can look into getting a dog sitter when you want to go out and need someone to take care of the dog.
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