GeeziG Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 long distance relationship that lasted 6 months and the day before she moved to my town she breaks it off? so confused.. I treated her like a queen..she was the center of my universe! I put nothing above her for six months of my life, although it was a long distance relationship i made sure that i was there for her no matter what, she realized that saying that she had never had a guy put her first and it wasnt like anything she had ever felt or had before! I saw her cry tries of joy at the way i treated her, on the other hand i felt a void like she could never put me first..friends and family always came before me and she would do things like call me and tell me two guys told me i was fine as f*** today. I just dont feel as though that is something you call and express to your signficant other? Yet she would always tell me that i had nothing to worry about and that i should know that shes mine and wouldn't leave me, so i trusted in that even though it made me feel insecure about our relationship. .. i know reading this makes you think why would you wanna be with somebody like that, but i loved her dearly and was looking forward to her move to the same town that i currently live in, but the day before the move she breaks it off. ..blames it on my insecurity and the fact that she cant commit to me and that no matter what she did or how hard she tried she never would meet my standards. ..i was heartbroken of course and did what any person in this situation would do i reached out to see her when she got here we met up and talked where i told her i would change and that if she cared for the relationship like she said that she would atleast give it a couple of weeks to see how things went. ..she refused telling me that i wouldnt change to give an example she said things like i just moved here and if i wanted to go out tonite you would have a problem with it. ..well considering we have been long distance for so long and your finally here wouldnt anyone? during our talk she was still really touchy feely which made me even more confused. ..i finally realized that asking for another chance wasn't the way to go and left...the next day i gotta call from a unknown number never happend before my first though was its her but i didnt answer...and the following day i found out she deleted me off facebook? Idk what to make of all of this but it would be deeply appreciated if any of you could make sense of what i've just explained to you.....
drivingmyselfcrazy Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Hmmmmmmm....... This sounds very shady. I have a question for you. Did you too meet before you started this relationship? Or did it start out like an online thing? She either 1.) Has found someone that suits her better 2.) Is a complete skitzo (dealt with those many times) 3.) Only used you to feel good about herself and now feels guilty so she feels like she can't talk to you anymore. I am sorry though, that sounds terrible. I hope you get some good advice!
Author GeeziG Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 we met prior to dating and as far as someone else goes maybe am in denial but everything was picture perfect up until two days before she moved, and i know it only takes two mins to find someone new but we talked 24/7
drivingmyselfcrazy Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 That is odd.... Sometimes there really isn't a reason I got my ass dumped one day for no apart reason. I got told I was 'awesome and great' but I wasn't given a reason. Life sometimes doesn't make sense but there is always another side to it, but the other person just won't let you in on it... Do you think you might have said something to set her off in some type of way?
Author GeeziG Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 (edited) thing that caused the breakup is that i called her selfish, because in a lot of the situations she would always put herself first and expect me to be there whenever she got done...and she could never talk to me around her family like we never spoke two words in front of her parents. ...i always put her first in my life and she didnt do that in return so that was the argument that lead to the breakup she said it was wrong from me to make her feel guilty bout spend time with her mom and friends etc, but when she did it was almost like we didnt exsist. ..i felt more like a option than a prority she also said she felt like she was losing herself do to all the compromises so i guess the fact that i didnt like her talkin to other guys was a big issue...i feel like ppl got in her head as well and made what she may have been thinkin more surreal if that makes sense? and as far as the unknown call goes do you think it was her by any chance? and its been 3 days of no contact..i think thats best thing to do Edited July 3, 2012 by GeeziG
Alban Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I can completely relate to it, my friend but the difference is that she is still with me and cried because of joy meeting me next week ! But in your case I think she doesn't love you, you were her boyfriend in words but not in feelings ..Sorry but I think you should just leave her absolutely ZERO contact. Maybe she will come back..if not it wasn't meant to be. Good Luck
Author GeeziG Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 Thanks for the advice. ..part of me feels like she just didnt love me at all either it was just the idea and the way i made her feel sad to say, but there is no way you talk to a person for 6 months move to the same city as them and go cold turkey
justwhoiam Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 I think you messed up and leaving you was a consequence. 1) Guys tend to overlook anything until the bomb explodes, but signs were surely there before it did. Proof is you were having arguments about her time with other people. 2) She might be very young or she might think that being with anyone won't affect her social life in any way. 3) At times, with women, it's just a matter of principle. Just three random examples here below. SITUATION A (no troubles) Statement: "I'd like to go out with Flora, Jack and Jill tonight" Counterstatement: "I would have loved to spend your first night here with you, but if you have other plans, we can do that tomorrow night. We have plenty of time now to be together!" Question: "What were your plans for tonight?"... SITUATION B (lots of trouble) Statement: "I'd like to go out with Flora, Jack and Jill tonight" Counterstatement: "I can't believe you want to go out with them instead of being with me. You are very selfish..." Argument coming "What?! I can't even go out with anyone now? You're not my father... WT... That's insulting!..." SITUATION C (honestly jealous but respectful) Statement: "I'd like to go out with Flora, Jack and Jill tonight" Question: "I would have hoped we could spend your first night here together, wouldn't you want that too?" Answer "Yes... It's just that I already said yes to others..." Solution "Well, I'm sure they would understand if you explain to them I made plans for tonight already. I just didn't tell you because it had to be a surprise... Do you think you can call them and postpone? Or maybe they can come along..." You crossed the line when you called her selfish. That must have been the last straw, not causing the end of everything in itself, it just topped all the crap she was going through. Now: what to do? If you decided to compromise, you might end up being in a very unhappy relationship. So I would say: move on. But if love for her is really too strong to let her go and you'd rather be miserable with her than miserable without her, then you must be ready to go through anything and prove it. No harsh comments, no complaining, etc.
HeavenOrHell Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Is is possible you made her the centre of your life so much so that she felt you were being possessive/too full on? No-one can make their partner the centre of their life ALL the time, we all have/need other people and interests in our lives. How much time did you spent actually together? Spending time together IRL is very different to time spent online, on the phone, not saying those aren't wonderful forms of communication, but they're not the same at all.
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