Norse Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 (edited) My story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/330903-i-want-but-i-cant-cope Three weeks from break up and some guy she added two days after breakup she's in a relationship with. Wow... She likes physical attractiveness and this guy is miles from it. Let me just say me and her met at a gym two years ago. Secondly he's already buying her jewelry two days into the relationship, she has pictures of it up on Facebook, and it's yellow gold, which she passionately hates. Ironically it's the same necklace I got her but not white gold, it's like she got a perfect replacement, and apparently he is the "sweetest guy ever". I don't even know how I feel right now, it's like I'm in a state of shock, I've had mixed emotions, small feelings of suicide, anger towards him/her, cry. Then a part of me for some strange reason thinks someone like one of my friends set this up as a ruse to get me to stop chasing after her, honestly she's smiling in all of the pictures but not with her eyes... if you know what that means. Her eyes actually look evil... Like it's a scary look to me, almost like burn I'm over you and I know you're looking at these pics. Or perhaps it's more like "this sucks, I miss my ex". I don't know but it just seems odd to be in a relationship with someone for two years and three weeks out find someone else. Actually 2 days out start looking for someone else. She told me a few days prior to our break up "I believe someone else is out there for me with less problems" So some part of me believes she was already talking to him. But she never seemed to be that kind of girl. I just don't understand, I know this is a rebound, and I feel like she was hurting so much she just needed someone else. But part of me feels like it could be a ruse to get me to move on, or maybe she was already talking to this guy... What do you guys think? I'm at my wits end here, and I'm not sure what's going to come next. I must seriously be **** if she was willing to leave me for this guy. Edited July 3, 2012 by Norse
StarlaStardust Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 You absolutely must stop looking at her pics/profiles/all that. Seriously. I know it's hard to resist, but it's hurting you. Now, for the meat and potatoes of this comment: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBOUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNDDDDD! She reminds me of ME with another guy once upon a time long ago, who was certainly a rebound, and yes, I was talking to him a week or two before the break up. I convinced myself it was the real deal, and that he was just the sweetest most giving guy ever, except it turned out he sucked after just a few months. Worst boyfriend ever. I definitely missed my ex after that. But my ex was long, long gone. Try not to dwell too much on this. I suggest pitying her, perhaps. And definitely stop checking up on her in cyber space. 1
Gulf-Delta Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Sounds like she doesn't know wtf she wants. Sounds like she's super desperate to try to find a stand in for you. I mean, if she's dating someone she normally wouldn't be attracted to, it sounds like she went for the nearest dude to try to "replace" you. 1
Enema Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Are you seeing this on Facebook? Why are you still Facebook friends? For god sakes man, delete her.
Author Norse Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 Well I don't know what to make of all of this but I WILL stop looking at her facebook page. Yes she blocked me but I had a second account...
Exit Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Dont worry about it being a rebound, a ruse or anything else. As far as you are concerned treat it like this guy is the love of her life and they will get married so you will understand to start moving on. And yeah stick to not looking at facebook anymore it will only hurt.
Mr Scorpio Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Sounds like she already had another guy on the back-burner before she even left you. Also sounds like you need to quit logging onto facebook!
nineyearsgone79 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 (edited) Wow your post certainly hit close to home.. same kinda thing happened with my ex. He broke up with me said he wanted to find happiness after 9 years of dating me and .. believe it or not that happiness he found literally the next day .. in the arms of his sister in law. I didn't find this all out until months of internet digging.. I kept thinking no that's impossible.. he couldn't replace me that fast? I thought they were just close friends maybe.. maybe she was comforting him? The point of all this is.. I wracked my brains for the longest of time.. i didn't eat.. I was heart broken. I blamed myself. It sounds like she moved on just like my ex .. cold and clean and gone gone gone gone gone .. no time off between relationships. I read his interent blog he eventually posted about how he was so happy after the breakup going out having fun in love.. wtf. She's a plain jane and he's still with her nearly 3 years later.. go figure? Although I believe a zebra doesn't change his stripes and these kind of people are selfish and only think about themselves. So my word of advice is defriend her on your other account.. I had one of those too. Put in as much grieving for the relationship as she did. Go out .. do things for yourself. Your lucky you found this out right away and didn't waste more moments of your life questioning what you did, blaming yourself, and hoping for breadcrumbs. She just simply found something else "new" and went for that. I think she had him probably lined up as my ex did. Don't worry no matter how "happy" & "perfect" things appear between them from a distance they never really are that way. Focus on your happiness and forget about them. Edited July 3, 2012 by nineyearsgone79 1
StarlaStardust Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Dont worry about it being a rebound, a ruse or anything else. As far as you are concerned treat it like this guy is the love of her life and they will get married so you will understand to start moving on. And yeah stick to not looking at facebook anymore it will only hurt. This is pretty good advice for moving on. Thanks!
barese1 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I'm sorry to hear that mate, thats harsh but.....it does show that she really is not a nice person. Hopefully it'll make it easier for you to see you deserve better as bad as its making you feel right now. I think that right now its a massive negative but when you do start to move on her actions will be a positive thing in terms of your healing. You will wonder why you were with someone so cold hearted
Mariana345 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Well I don't know what to make of all of this but I WILL stop looking at her facebook page. Yes she blocked me but I had a second account... No no no... YOU go and block HER!!! I'm telling you!!! If you don't see you don't feel... seriously!!! I know curiosity is hard to deal with but Is even harder the sadness... Rebound is awful, but you don't need to pass through this... You don't!! You don't need to know, You don't need to feel that...
Author Norse Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 (edited) I've been reading these replys a lot. Everything is very helpful. Edited July 3, 2012 by Norse
Mcnulty Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 No matter how long the relationship WAS, if they hook up with someone more or less straight away, this other person was in the picture before yous ended..that simple. Mine got with my "friend" within 2 weeks...we'd been together for 8 and a half years! Maybe she's like my ex...weak, codependant, needs a man, can't be on her own.
Author Norse Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 She actually has been in a relationship since 15 and she's now 24 I think I met her when she was 22. I seen her add him like 3 days after we broke up, him and a few other trollish looking guys then in three weeks he is the sweetest, coolest guy ever. She was only broke up with her first bf 3 or 4 months before we got together.
TripLine Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 You are lucky you broke up sooner than later. If she cared about you, she would be going out on dates but she would not post it on Facebook. You need to stop being a stalker with the 2nd account. Who does that? Stalkers, that's who.
btrfly85 Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Your story reminds me of mine. 7 years together. Ex got a new job and a month and a half later.. said things like "i need to be with someone who understands me." 2 weeks later, I found out he was sleeping with his coworker. He never had a facebook before.. he thought it was stupid. But of course after he breaks up with me, he makes one and adds all his coworkers and his new girl because I guess they made fun of him for not having one? Whatever... anyways, what did I do when I saw that he had a facebook... Cried! Yeah, don't do it. No matter how much you want to know whats going on, it really will just hurt you in the end. They're cowards for how they end things and lie about it. But you can't hate them or be mad at them for trying to find their happiness. One of the best things I read somewhere is this: "You lost someone that didn't love you but they lost someone who truly loved and cared about them." 1
TG1 Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 You absolutely must stop looking at her pics/profiles/all that. Seriously. I know it's hard to resist, but it's hurting you. Now, for the meat and potatoes of this comment: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBOUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNDDDDD! She reminds me of ME with another guy once upon a time long ago, who was certainly a rebound, and yes, I was talking to him a week or two before the break up. I convinced myself it was the real deal, and that he was just the sweetest most giving guy ever, except it turned out he sucked after just a few months. Worst boyfriend ever. I definitely missed my ex after that. But my ex was long, long gone. Try not to dwell too much on this. I suggest pitying her, perhaps. And definitely stop checking up on her in cyber space. I would say you should move on from her and find someone new and when it all goes wrong for her, she will then realize her mistake and when she wants you back, send her packing 1
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